Not As It Seems
by Minxheart
Summary: An ulterate place where Zoe stays with Matt they marry and seem on the surface very happy together but is there something else lying deeper in their marrige...
1. In the Beginning

Chapter 1 Zoe

The busy ED was bustling with the mundane sound of beeping from the heart monitor. In the waiting room Noel could be heard telling an angry patient to sit down and to wait for his turn. Zoe could easy tell his injuries weren't that severe at best he had a broken wrist but even that was unlikely _no_ she thought what was more likely was that he had a sprained wrist. Zoe sat in the ED staff room trying and failing to mentally prepare herself for the day ahead she had made a vow to herself _not to let her home life affect her work _she got up quickly and got to the staff room door when Nick went by and she quickly ducked back in because of her history with him her husband didn't want her spending that much time with him, that wasn't the only reason though. He didn't trust a single thought that Nick Jordan had sure that all thoughts he had about Zoe were all sexual and all he guessed involved her in different positions.

After checking he was gone Zoe quickly left the staff room trying to make her disappearance unnoticeable. "Dr Hanna" the call came from behind her and she turned around as Linda started speaking to her "You're needed in rhesus suspected tension pneumothorax" Zoe turned round and headed for rhesus 2. She banged the doors open and looked at the bed on the far left where Sam and Ruth were both crowding round a 5 year old girl hooked up to lots of machines "Ok" she said and instantly everyone looked at her "Move" she said as she walked between the 2 of them. Carefully, she put her stethoscope on the child's trachea and listened "Yeh deviated trachea" she sighed "Linda get me sterile gown and gloves and let's prep for an intercostal drain" Ruth grabbed the kit and Zoe very carefully pushed the needle into the skin near the arm pit. At that moment the doors opened "Is everything ok Dr Hanna" Nick Jordan stepped into the room his presence seemed to make what she was doing somehow even more tricky. "It's nothing I can't handle" she said curtly as the little girls breathing went into better rhythm and Zoe sighed a sigh of relief. It wasn't to last long as when Zoe stepped outside the rhesus doors she saw Noel talking to someone. Quickly Zoe tried to make herself scarce but Noel had seen her "Dr Hanna, you're husbands here" Zoe looked around for another option there was none so she walked over. "Thanks Noel" she said curtly "Hey" she then said to Matt kissing him on the cheek. "What are you doing down here?" she asked cautiously wondering whether he was checking up on her and if so had he seen Nick enter rhesus. "Oh I thought I would surprise you" he said sweetly to anyone who didn't know Matt very well she supposed it would of looked sweet "You didn't have to…" she said carefully avoiding looking into his eyes. He looked suspiciously at her wondering if this sudden failure to look at him could suggest anything.

Before he had time to ask the double doors to the ED banged open as Dixie and Jeff brought a patient in. Zoe quickly raced over "This is Andrew Gimley 32 involved in a drink drive incident where he was the driver his GCS was 3 on our arrival which increased to 4 as we progressed, his BP is 90/60 and pulse rate is 80." They went though Rhesus 1's doors which were being held open by Linda and Tess. Quickly they wheeled him over as they were about to move him he made an odd noise "Andrew this is Dr Hanna you're in Holby City ED." She quickly grabbed onto the board "On my count 1,2,3" they all slid him over taking time to asess his injuries.  
"Dr Hanna" someone called her name from behind she turned  
"Yes I am in the middle of...Oh" she said and stopped halfway though her sentance as Nick entered rhesus

" A word if you please" he paused "Sam can you take over from Dr Hanna for a second" Nick beckoned for Sam to come in and when she did he went over and grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the door he waited for the doors to close before talking to me quietly

"You've been avoiding me" he said in a hushed tone. Zoe felt herself go tense he couldn't think...

"What are you talking about" she said bermused

"Zoe You have been edgy all day for God sake you walked out of the staff room just to walk back in again when you saw me approach." Nick sounded worried now "Is everything ok have i done something to make you hate me its just... well... well you seemed fine with me yesterday." Zoe felt herself glanse nervously at Matt "No" she lied convinvingly "Everything's fine I just have a lot of my plate my brother Jacob's just had his first child and Luke is also considering having kids." She took a breather "It's fine" she said somewhat deflated. A sound behind me made her jump she wasn't aware he was behind her "Zoe" he whispered in her ear "Isn't your shift over"

"Oh... um..." she said feeling uncomftable "Yeh" she finished lamley "I'm going then" she said heading towards the staff room to get changed into her normal clothes. Don't get it wrong Zoe loved people knowing she was a Dr. however she didn't want all the questions from the neighbours that Matt already got. She changed in the toilets to avoid having people see her undress it wasn't great site to see. She changed quickly even quicker than probably she thought she could change however she couldn't keep Matt waiting. She opened the door and went outside into reception to meet him he looked straight into her eyes and smiled a smile that started to chill her insides as he grabbed her arm and they walked out of the ED where nobody had suspected a thing!

**Please review I would really appreciate any and all reviews as i would love to improve my writing!**

**xxxMinxheartxxx**


	2. Make it or Break it

Chapter 2 Nick

Nick sat at his desk working his way through piles of useless paperwork which even he found tedious and that was saying something. "This is no use" he said aloud to himself he got up paced round the desk turned the light off and left his office and headed to the staff room for a coffee, of course he didn't actually need a coffee just something that could his mind off the paperwork. Walking into the staff Room he found his distraction, Zoe had left her locker upon obviously in a rush to go home with Matt. Matt Strong how he hated him even before he met the guy the name alone made him hate him. Now though Nick would rather stick pins in his eyes than admit it he was jealous of him, he didn't want to admit it but he still loved and still wanted her so much. But that was all in the past now... ever since Matt came into the picture Zoe had seemed different in a way that worried Nick there was just something...

"Morning" Ruth said brightly getting her clothes from her locker she quickly slipped a jumped on top of her scrubs and smiled mornings greeting to him which he returned.

"What time is it" he said it suddenly occurring to him that 2 of his Doctors had just finished and he wasn't quite sure who was meant to be on Ruth had a chance to answer "Mr Jordan" he didn't need to turn around to know it was Linda speaking to him "What is it" he asked calmly

"It's Zoe's 5 year old patient from this morning she's developed a head injury." With a sigh Nick left the staff Room and with it also concerns and all his thought about Zoe.

Matt

The apartment wasn't that far away only a 10 minute car journey from the hospital which was very convenient. Matt opened his car door while making sure that Zoe's was locked. He got out quickly, shut the door and walked round to Zoe's side of the car opened her door and waited for her to extend her arm.

Zoe 

After Matt had taken her out of the hospital she had tried to remain as quiet as possible trying to avoid getting caught for something she had never done. The car ride was over very quickly the only converstation between the two of them was Matt questioning her over the day she had had. It was when they got to the underground car parking that Zoe could tell what was going to happen and she already started to feel slightly panicked. Matt walked over to her door and opened it she knew what he wanted but part of her really didn't want to. _Why should she give in _she thought. And she decided to keep her arms firmly at her sides.

Matt

"Zoe" he said smiling maliciously he looked at her staring at her in an awful way. Slowly he watched as Zoe held out her arm not looking at him. As soon as she did he pulled her up twisting her arm "Ouch"she said he looked at her smiling in her pain he started pulling her towards the lift. It was very funny if that Bitch had any sence of logic then she would consented to start with.

Half dragging half pushing her into the appartment he slammed her onto the floor itching to get everything over with he heard her squel in pain however he didn't quicking her abdomen. "Stupid Bitch" he said picking up a shard of glass and slit her stomach with it. "Arhhh" se screamed.

Peoiple would think him mean but he wasn't he was just following the instructions that Zoe's parents had left _Zoe was not to be given an opinion or a choice_

Zoe

She was sure he was onto her well in some aspects, despite the fact there was nothing going on between the two of them. Nick had turned her down when she had been at her worst he had treated her like dirt for saving his life and yet... She found herself madly in love with him. She still stood naked in their sex room, it sounded weird to think that they slept in a different rooms but THEY didn't SHE did. This was Matt's room and she only came into this room when he forced her too. It was what had happened tonight she thought sourly to herself that this was her punishment for talking to Nick. BANG the door flew open as an angry Matt shouted at her "Clothes"

Zoe paused cowering against the wall deciding whether or not to do as he said. He advanced though the room towards her. Making her try to back up even further she tried to run however he grabbed her round the middle kicked her in the stomach. She screamed in pain and he quickly stuffed a cloth into her mouth kicking her again and again. But she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction this time she was sure of that and willed herself throughout his kicking's _don't say anything_ she thought.

Realising that wasn't working Matt seized her by the hair and pulled her up onto their bed then getting on top of her locked hips and started kissing her. She tried to resist but each time she did so he started on her worse and worse trying to break her, the best she could do then was to try and phase out like it wasn't happening a technique that usually worked. WHAM a blow to the head woke her up from her tranquillity as she was hit over the head with a tea tray. She felt blood start to trickle quickly down her face from the wound she also felt the pain throb getting worse and worse and worse until she blacked out.

Matt

_Lying little Bitch _he thought maliciously she was unconscious but she had got what she deserved who was she to think she was better than everyone else. A husband's word was law wasn't that what she had been brought up and yet she has the nerve he punched her again to release some of his anger her stomach already looked like she was a boxer. He picked her up roughly in his arm took out the key from one of his trouser pockets and unlocked the room next door. It wasn't anywhere near as nice as the other room this is the room _she _slept in. it was her own fault really if she hadn't tried to leave him then it wouldn't have happened. The room was plain grey, very small that and the room next door used to be one room till he required a new room and so decided to cut his room in half. The bed was made out of the cheapest metal possible and you could feel every spring in the mattress. She complained at first but he had ended that very quickly there was also an empty bucket and container of water in the room so she could use the bathroom as normal.

He carried her over to the bed folded back the covers put Zoe in and then folded them back over her "Night" he said as he left the room locking the brass lock as he did so.


	3. Panic

Nick

Nick walked into the ED he had just finished all of the paper work in his office when he had received a worried phone call. "Listen up guys" he said waiting for them to listen to him "Staff meeting in 10" he walked back out of the busy ED and into his office. He switched off his computer and searched for the leaflets on assessment.

10 minutes later Nick entered the staff room to see his entire staff sitting in front of him. "Right I have gathered you all here to discuss..." at that moment he saw Zoe enter the staff room quickly opening her locker."Ah Doctor Hanna nice to see you've decided to join us." Zoe opened her mouth to protest but shut it "Good move" he said "As I was saying before Dr Hanna interrupted me" he paused waiting to see that no one interrupted him "The GMC have announced a surprise inspection taking place today". Everyone looked at him

"You have to be kidding" Sam asked hoping

"Unfortunately no I'm not" Nick sighed

"You are aware then that we haven't any time to prepare and plus St James ED is closed" Sam questioned boldly.

"Well you lot better get out there then" Nick said smiling as everyone got up to leave the staff room "A moment Dr Hanna" he said pulling her aside. "Why were you late this morning?" Before she had a chance to answer he continued "This can't keep happening we have an assessment today so the last thing we need is a consultant to involved with her personal life working in this ED" he started to shout at her. He watched as she tried to protest at last she said "Sorry, Nick it won't happen again"

"Zoe you've said that every day for the last week" Nick was still shouting at her "We have an inspection today so either you pull yourself together or just go home Zoe."

"Nick" she said choking back tears "I..."

"Save it Zoe I have heard it all before so don't waste my time" Nick slammed the Staff room door shut if she thought that they could keep covering for her she was wrong she had been late to almost all of her shifts in the last 2 weeks. He turned the corner planning on going into his office when he saw Zoe exit the staff room and started to treat patients. To think when he had started she seemed such a promising doctor and now but then she was married now. Still he was disappointed to see how she had turned out.

Zoe

She woke up on her mattress in her prison cell she got up and gasped as the pain in her stomach started to hurt again. There was a click of the lock as she heard the door open. "How are you feeling" she asked quietly he turned around and closed the door. It wasn't like she wasn't expecting it but it still hurt she went to the corner of her room to see the clothes she had. _Damn none of the clothes were suitable _she walked to the door and opened it she turned into the bathroom. She pulled the clothes of the radiator and quickly changed trying to make sure she didn't look at the latest bruises on my body. She quickly opened the door and ran to Matt kissing his on the forehead and then glancing on the clock realising she was going to be late ran out of the apartment, well as best as you can with a stab wound to the stomach not to mention all the other bruising.

When she got to the hospital it was with a heavy heart as no one was working which couldn't be good sure enough when she entered the staff room they were all assembled listening to Mr Jordan. She smiled slowly as Nick welcomed her "Ah Doctor Hanna nice to see you've decided to join us." Excuses were going though her head but she couldn't think of any that she thought Nick would believe.

She listened to the whole of Nicks talk and quickly tried to walk out of the staff room when someone grabbed her arm. "Ouch" she said quietly though he didn't hear.

"A moment Dr Hanna" Nick said pulling her aside on one of her bruises. "Why were you late this morning?" Before she had a chance to answer he continued "This can't keep happening we have an assessment today so the last thing we need is a consultant to involved with her personal life working in this ED" he started to shout at her. Her instincts were telling her to leave to get away from him it was all the time around Matt. He sensed her try to back out and took it as a sign that she was trying to protest. "Sorry, Nick it won't happen again" she said quickly trying to stop his shouting

"Zoe you've said that every day for the last week" Nick was still shouting at her and she felt herself cower slightly "We have an inspection today so either you pull yourself together or just go home Zoe."

"Nick" she said choking back tears "I..."

"Save it Zoe I have heard it all before so don't waste my time" Nick slammed the Staff room door. It hurt he had loved her once and now, now he was breaking her heart all over again. As soon as the door had shut she'd started to cry the first sign her life was changing a sign she never noticed. Quickly at the thought of what Nick would say she pulled scrubs on over her long sleeved T shirt and opened the staff room door trying to forget what had happened in there. She saw Nick watching her and walked towards cubicles "Bella O Neil" she said in a false cheery voice she turned around and Nick was gone.

Since the argument with Nick she had seen treated and sent home over 12 patients which was very good for a mornings work. She walked towards reception to take a well deserved rest. "Slacking Dr Hanna" the voice came from behind her she jumped out of chair. Noel looked at her "Are you ok Dr. Hanna?" he asked worried

"Fine" she said in a louder voice than was necessary  
"Excuse me I asked you a question Dr Hanna"  
"Mr Jordan Zoe's just started on her break" Noel said confused

"Well" he said stumped for a second "Dr Hanna you have to your breaks in the staff room that's why we have them"

"Ok" she said quietly she was starting to get used to taking orders. She quickly hurried off to the staff room and closed the door.

Nick

He knew he was being harsh especially as really she wasn't doing anything wrong however he was just really stressed with the inspection and his confused and mixed up opinions towards Zoe still though... "Mr J" Noel said interrupting his from his thoughts  
"What is it?" Nick asked  
"Its Zoe, didn't she seem slightly strange" he said pushing his luck slightly. Now he mentioned it thought about it she had acted slightly weirdly. Nick walked towards the staff room under the intention of apologising. He opened the door with a bang. The site that met his eyes made his heart pang. She looked like a shadow of her usual self. "Zoe" he said


	4. Threats

**Please reviews welcome I'd love stuff constructive criticism **

Zoe

The moment after Nick had shouted at her in the ED she had gone to the staff room. Life was really starting to pile up on top of her so she did what she usually did when things got too much and tried to immerse herself with nostalgia. She opened her locker and took out the locket that Nick had given her which had inside a picture from when things were great between the two of them. Even after they had broken up Zoe couldn't bear to throw it away so she had kept it however now the only place she could keep it was in her locker at work. She smiled as she opened the locket and saw the two of them standing by the beach her in a gold dress him dressed in a suit. She felt a tear in her eye and felt as it silently rolled down her cheek quickly followed by another tear and soon she started crying. BANG she heard the door open and shut as she quickly stopped crying. Nick stared incredulously at her "Zoe" he said.

She couldn't help it the way he said her name brought everything back and she started to cry again something she had vowed not to door. "Zoe" he said her name again softer this time and gently he walked over to her put a hand on her shoulder she winced under the pressure which he luckily didn't noticed and then sat down moving the hand on her shoulder down her back. Again she winced in pain slightly more obviously this time Nick turned to her "Zoe" he said again for the third time "Are you ok?" she knew he felt guilty like somehow this was his fault. "I'm fine" She said trying and failing to hide the tears and the urge to cry. "Zo you can talk to me... I'm sorry for shouting at you I was stressed" Nick looked apologetically at her however Zoe kept her head down. "Nick" she began but stopped  
"Look at me Zoe" he said, she couldn't look at him not with everything that was going on he'd see right past her. He softly took his hand putting it under her chin and turning it towards him. "You an amazing Women Zoe as well as a fantastic doctor and whatever's going on..." he trailed off instead leaning closer towards her she leaned forward to she could see the excitement in his eyes feel his heart pulling her towards him. She leaned forwards as well and he kissed her passionately letting her tongue explore his mouth. Zoe felt him grab her waist pulling her onto of him gently he started to take off her scrubs top. He suddenly stopped "Zoe you're bleeding" he said frantically now putting his hands on her belly. She felt herself shiver trying to think of an excuse pulling herself back from him and standing up.  
"It's nothing "she said quickly i tripped on the stairs to my apartment" she finished lamely.

"Zoe I'm a doctor for God sake let me have a look" he walking towards her intending to undo a couple of buttons on her shirt. Zoe stepped back quickly putting her hands on her stomach "Zoe" he said starting to beg

"I'm fine Nick... honestly" she said trying to put a smile on her face she put her hand under her shirt to feel the amount of blood coming off. _Damn _she thought Nick was still looking at her "Zoe" he said reaching for her. That was the thing about the two of them one could tell what the other one wanted really without any words needed to be said. Nick took her hand and led her out of the cubicle while Zoe put her other hand on her stomach covering up the blood on her clothes. Nick had led her out the staff room though the ED and into a free cubicle. Nick helped up onto the bed and slowly she lifted up her top just high enough to show him the extent of the glass cut Matt had given her and showing nothing more. "Oh Zoe" Nick said shock in his voice as he looked at the cut closely "Ok" he hesitated "It's going to need stitches".

"What" Zoe said she started to panic her breath coming in sharp tones how was she going to explain this to Matt he would know someone had looked at her she kept hyper ventilating. "Zoe" Nick said worried "Zoe" he tried to calm her down by getting her something to breathe into. It wasn't working Zoe tried breathing into it still panicking until she felt a blackness spread across her mind as she felt herself fall back onto the bed.

Nick 

Nick had led Zoe to an empty cubicle making sure none of the ED staff were watching. He closed the curtain on the cubicle and helped her onto the bed trying to support her knowing that partly this was his fault if he hadn't been in a bad mood with her this morning and been nicer to her then maybe just maybe she could have asked him to help from the start. He watched as she pulled her top up and gasped _there was no way she had looked at this _he thought and could tell without much examination that she was going to need stiches. "Ok" he hesitated not sure quite how to phrase this "It's going to need stitches" he said quietly. Quickly he noticed her breathing quicken as she started entering a panic attack he quickly went to grab something for her to breath into but it was no use as she continued to hyper ventilate it was with horror but not surprise that he watched her fall back onto the bed. "Can i have some help in here" he said opening the curtain so people could hear him. Jay and Ruth rushed over "Zoe" they both cried incredulously and went to the bed and helped to wheel it into rhesus.

"Jay can you connect the heart monitor and Ruth can you get me a suture kit" Ruth looked at him inquisitively

"Why?" she asked confused

"The gash on her stomach Nick said lifting Zoe's arm up." she gasped and went to get the suture kit by the time she had returned with it Nick had lifted her top up. Things were starting to calm down as her heart rate continued at a normal level. Nick started with the suture kit stitching the wound on her stomach "Jay" he said "Can you phone Dr Strong tell him she's fine, but tell him whats happened" he watched him leave and continued suturing the wound.

"Mr Jordan" Ruth said hesitating "Why where you there with Zoe?" she asked interested. Excuses were going round his head trying to think of an answer that he could give and she would believe and that wasn't the truth. He was saved from the trouble of answering when Zoe's eye lids fluttered open. "Zoe" he said softly turning his attention to her. She tried to sit up however he pushed her down again "Zoe you've been through a lot" he said quietly. He watched Ruth leave and he sat down on her bed "How are you baby" Nick said smiling at her. She looked shocked but started to stare at him looking into his eyes. He leaned forward and went for a kiss.

"No, no Nick we can't... I'm married" she said freaking out.  
"It's ok" he said "Just calm down sweetie" he put his arm onto hers to calm her down. Ruth walked in "Mr Jordan" at that he took his arm off hers and got off the bed "Dr Strong's here."

"What" Zoe said

"We called him after you fainted we thought he'd want to know and we have also stitched up your belly" Nick said quietly.  
"You, no" she said trying to get up, at that moment the rhesus doors opened and Dr Strong entered.  
"Zoe" he said with real concern "How are you baby and what happened?" he said directing the question at Nick  
"Zoe took a fall down the stairs near your apartment and got a gash to her stomach which needed stitching up when i mentioned this to her she started having a panic attack." he explained courteously. He noticed Zoe hadn't been looking at Matt throughout the explanation instead he observed she had looked at the floor and Nick started to think that everything wasn't as perfect as he first thought between the couple.

"How did you notice the cut" Matt asked suspiciously interrupting his thoughts. Only then did Nick see Zoe look up but not to Matt but to him. She looked imploringly at him desperate for him not to mention what had happened.

"Well" he said taking the hint from Zoe "Zoe had been vomited on by a patient and she was in the staff room changing her scrub tops over when I walked in and saw the blood on her shirt." Matt looked satisfied however was surprised to see Zoe wasn't after he had finished speaking she had turned her attention back to her lap. "Zoe you will need to have the stiches removed so we can book you an outpatient appointment then we also want you to take it easy but" he said pausing for a second "You need to take it easy no more wrestling with the stairs." She smiled weakly as he left the room thinking to himself _something's defiantly not right between them._

**Tell me if you like it or even if you think it's worth continuing **

**xxxMinxheartxxx**


	5. Trapped

Zoe

Zoe watched as Nick left rhesus her heart started to pound with nerves "Hey" she said nervously. He stared back at her trying to intimidate her and she felt it cowering she slid down in the bed. "So" he said smiling "How to handle this" he questioned cheerily however the malicous intent could be heard.

"H...handle what" she said quietly stuttering  
"Handle what" he sneered "Handle what" he said his voice gettting louder "How about handling the fact that you're in love with your ex" he said shouting at her. She was shaking really badly now "Please" she said quietly  
"Please" he sneered back she felt tears come to her eyes.  
_How could know one_ _have heard_ she thought she was practically crying now "I...I...I don't honestly" she said quietly trying to defend herself.  
"You are a lying bitch" he said slapping her across the face he then gently whispered in her ear "And that is for starters" he lent back and smiled malicously. She gulped back tears trying to show him she wasn't scared. She felt her cheek go numb from the pain and she watched Matt walk out before he left he turned his face to her and smiled. As soon as he left Zoe started crying. The first time he had hit her Zoe had been suprised about how readily tears had come especially as Zoe considered herself a relativley strong person but now Zoe was used to crying and living in the constant fear of her husbands fury.  
"Zoe" a voice from the doorway made her jump she quickly looked down and tried to stop crying. Linda walked in "Are you ok?" she asked  
"Yh yh I'm fine" Zoe smiled however one look at Linda's face told her she wasn't convinved and she started crying again.  
"Zoe look at me" Linda said calmy Linda put her arm on Zoe's in comfort. Linda smiled and Zoe slowly looked up hoping against hope that her face was a normal colour. Zoe locked eyes with Linda and Linda gasped "Zoe, what the hell happened to you?" she asked quietly.  
"What" Zoe said innocently playing for time  
"Zoe" Linda said sternly.  
"What I don't know what you're talking about" Zoe said still with the innocent act.  
"Zoe Hanna what the hell happened" Linda said continuing to press her.  
"I told you I don't know what you're talking about" Zoe continued innocently. Linda hopped off the bed  
"Right Zoe I'm getting Mr Jordan" Zoe looked shocked  
"No Linda, NO" she shouted "I told you I'm fine" Linda looked at her shocked.  
"Zoe" Zoe heard her shout but it was too late...


	6. Simple Lies

Linda

She saw Zoe start to get into a state "Zoe" she said as Zoe fell onto the bed and started to fit. Linda hit the panic button "Can I have some help in here" she shouted turning Zoe on her side as she was fitting. Mr Jordan and Jay ran into the room "Zoe" Mr Jordan cried scared. "Linda can you draw me 0.5mg of lorazepam" Mr Jordan said "Jay can you put the sides up" he said Linda rushed up with the needle and handed it to Mr Jordan. Mr Jordan plunged it into Zoe muscle who was still in spasm. Nick was still holding onto her waist hoping she would break out of the fit. Linda smiled as Zoe started to break out of the fit and watched as Mr Jordan turned let go of her waist. The way Mr Jordan looked at Zoe it was so tender, so unfamiliar and yet so familiar, so beautiful and yet so sad and it was then and only then that Linda realised he was in love with Zoe. A passion that Linda had never seen in him and Linda smiled and let herself laugh.  
"Linda" Mr Jordan said, she gave out ahuh as a response showing she had heard while getting rid of the needle. "Linda what happened to her face" he said she quickly turned around and saw Mr Jordan turn her on her back. "I don't exactly know" Linda said shrugging her shoulder and feeling slightly guilty.  
"WHAT?" he said  
"I said I don't know because I asked her and when she told me she didn't know what i was talking about I said I would get you and she started to fit." She finished, she watched Mr Jordan's face as he looked confused and then bent down to look at her face and examined the mark. BANG Linda span round quickly as Dr Strong strode through the doors "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED I LEAVE HER IN YOUR CARE FOR WHAT 10 MINUTES AND SHE GETS WORSE WHAT KIND OF DOCTORS ARE YOU?" Dr Strong was shouting at Mr Jordan nobody had ever shouted at Mr Jordan and to be quite honest Linda found it slightly scary. "Dr Strong" she said intervening "You're wife's receiving the best care possible."  
"MY WIFE COULD HAVE BLOODY DIED AND YOU HAVE NO EXPLANATION" Matt screeched Jay stepped in front of Linda to protect her from Matt's stream of abuse.  
"Look Dr Strong if you could calm down" he said calmly  
"NO I WILL NOT BLOODY CALM DOWN YOU..." Matt was shouting showing no sign of stopping  
"Matt" Zoe cried weakly. Everyone turned to look at her Linda especially  
"Zoe what happened to your face" she asked slowly.  
"I...What are you talking about" she said confused. Mr Jordan looked at Linda and then to Dr Strong  
"Dr Strong do you know how she came to have the mark on her face" Mr Jordan asked.

Zoe   
As soon as Nick had said those words her heart had started to pound. _How was he going to explain this and then what was going to happen to her _she felt herself starting to get panicked. Then realising this would get into more trouble later slowed it down without anyone noticing.  
"I don't know" she heard Matt's lie and even she was slightly convinced by the whole thing.  
"Zoe" they all turned to her for an explanation _typical, this was him he did this and yet it was her that had to give his alibi.__  
_"I...I...did it to myself" she said quietly looking at Matt before looking straight at her knees.  
"Why Zo" Nick asked softly  
"It was an accident" she said slowly "My hand was above my head then i couldn't keep it there" she muttered.  
"Oh Zoe" he said sweetly putting his arm on hers she quickly tugged her arm away  
"Matt, I'm sorry for everything before" she said nearly in tears.  
"It's ok Zo" he said sweetly going over to sitting on her bed and putting his arm where Nicks had been making her shiver.  
"Dr Strong if we discharge her are you ok to keep an eye on her at home" Nick asked him and all Zoe could think was _sure he would look after and sure he would keep an eye on her when he was beating the light out of her _and then she remembered his promise from earlier and she smiled with nerves.  
"She won't leave my side" Matt promised flashing a knowing smile at Zoe which made her heart sink.  
"Right Linda can you get the forms ready" Zoe saw Linda leave "I'll give you two some space" Nick said and left the room.

As soon as Zoe saw the door swing shut her heart started to pound. "I'm sorry" were the first words out of her mouth "I tried to stop her from telling him I did but she wasn't listening" Zoe said very quickly. Zoe watched nervously for a reaction and after 3 long seconds she watched Matt lean over an d very slowly whispered in her  
"its ok sweetheart" he said in a voice clear with the true intent. He brushed his lips on hers and she started to kiss him back when he broke it off suddenly looking into her eyes. The doors open as Linda walked in with the discharge forms "Sign here" Linda said in a cheery voice Zoe took the pen that Linda was holding out to her and signed the forum and sealing her death wish. With that Linda got Zoe's possessions from the staff room and carried them out to Matts car while Matt and Zoe got in. "Thanks for everything" Zoe said to Linda kindly  
"It was no problem" she said and Zoe got in the car and they drove off home.

**All reviews very helpful**


	7. (YOUNGER REDERS AVOID)

**CHAPTER IS PROBABLY THE MOST IN DETAIL AND FULL OF DETAIL THAT MAY DISTURB A YOUNGER AUDIENCE YOU CAN SKIP ON AND WON'T MISS ANYTHING**

Zoe

They had been driving 3 minutes when Zoe first noticed.  
"Matt" she said quietly he ignored her as if she hadn't said anything.  
"Matt" she said again slightly louder again he ignored her.  
"Matt where are we going" she said looking imploringly at him Matt didn't ignore her this time and lay a reasurring hand across hers. Matt pulled in at the petrol station "Wait in the car" he ordered her he opened the car door slid out and then slammed it shut making her jump he then locked the car and she sat there in silence starting to get nervous the next thing she was of was Matt sitting next to her in the car and driving her home. He parked in the underground car park as usual and took hold of her hand and led her to the lift she was dreading this her heart was pounding her head was spinning. the lift opened with a ping and they walked across the corridor to their flat. Matt unlocked the door roughly and pushed her inside.

Matt

"Matt" she started "SHUT UP YOU BITCH" he slapped her across the face as hard as he could and she was knocked to the ground. She felt the side of her cheek as it felt like it was on fire. WHAM and Zoe screamed out in pain as a kick was sent into her stomach. "YOU'RE A TEASE" he shouted and bent down to her level "YOU LEAD EVERYONE SO THEY THINK THEY HAVE A CHANCE BUT I KNOW YOU REMEMBER I KNOW THAT SCARED LITTLE CHILD YOU BECOME EVERYTIME I HIT YOU" he slapped her round the face. "EVERYTIME I KICK YOU" he stood up again and sent a very hard kick to her chest. "EVERYTIME I FORCE YOU INTO HAVING SEX." On that he tried to push her with his feet and when she stood up he began ripping her clothes off pushing her up against the counter "Please" she begged quietly it had been quietly but he had heard it and let go of her and started to laugh "You think of my gosh you really are stupid! You think i would stop" he said ripping the clothes she was wearing beyond repair. "Did you think i was going to let you leave" his voice was icey calm and laced full of venom and contempt " I saved you from that man and what do you go HOW DO YOU REPAY ME FOR THIS YOU USELESS BITCH" he said tearing off all her clothes she was now standing there infront of him completley naked he watched her cower against the counter and quickly grabbed his phone and took a picture of her. She tried to get away from him but he was too quick and he slammed her to the ground he took from his pocket what he had bought from the gas station and quickly so as for her not to escape knocked her out!


	8. Flames

Matt

After knocking Zoe out he quickly resided to pour the petrol around the apartment slowly at first _after all_ he thought _he didn't want to kill Zoe he just wanted her to know what it was like to be ashamed and with results of the flames he knew that no man would ever go near her again._ Matt walked over to the medical cabinet took out the matches and when he got to the door gently lit one and set the carpet by the door alight.

Ray Bridge

Ray had lived in the building for years he was 46 and lived with his wife and 20 year old daughter Emily who had gone out for the evening his wife also was held up at work and Ray then thought about all the things he could do tonight while the two of them were out. Ray thought and decided to surprise his wife for a takeaway for tea so he walked out of his apartment and locked the door. It was then that he noticed his neighbours door smoke billowed from underneath it. "FIRE" Ray screamed as loudly as he could he quickly got out his phone and dialled for the fire brigade and also for an ambulance as he wasn't sure were the owners were to be honest he had never met them which was sad really but they worked very weird hours as he was told by other residents in the building they were doctors however he only knew them as the couple that would not stop fighting he would him them go at it at 1:00 in the morning he would shout and she would... He remembered he was on an emergency call "I need an ambulance and the fire brigade to the block of flats in Westside street it's an emergency" at that he hung up the phone and rang the fire alarm for the whole building.

Dixie

Dixie was standing in the middle of Holby City ED her and Jeff were laughing about a joke Noel and made about Ruth and Mr Jordan both of which were in the vicinity. "Holby Control to 3006 we have a fire at the block of flats on Westside street " Dixie groaned as they heard Louise's all too familiar voice "3006 receiving we're on our way" Dixie was about to leave  
"Where was it Dixie?" Mr Jordan's voice was laced with concern  
"Block of flats Westside street why?" Dixie said getting ready to leave  
"That's where Zoe lives" Mr Jordan said slowly

Nick

From the words he heard on the radio he knew it wasn't just his hearing _she was ok, she has to be ok._  
"Mr Jordan" Linda was looking at him strangely  
"WHAT?" He snapped angrily.  
"She's going to be ok I'm sure it will be fine" Linda looked reassuringly at him "I know you love her" she said quickly.  
"I do not" he said trying to defend himself against a battle he already knew he had lost.  
"Mr Jordan even a blind man can tell you're in love with her it's shown in the looks you give and the tone of what you say to her." Nick blinked at her glad that someone was telling him something positive.

Dixie

Ever since Mr Jordan had said it was Zoe's flat she had been panicking "This is it Jeffery" the fire brigade were all ready here. Dixie and Jeff approached two of the fire men "when can you access for the casualties" Jeff asked

"In a second" one of them said rather un helpfully  
"We have people in their searching for casualties right now" he said coolly at that second someone stood next to the entrance to the flats "HELP" he screamed as Dixie and Jeff ran forward.

They ran and knelt down on the grass "What's your name" Dixie asked the man " I'm Ray is she going to be ok" Dixie looked for the first time noticing the casualty but even she was shocked. Her body was covered with burns which Dixie tried to dress as best as possible as well as being completely naked which meant that all of her injured where completely clear and she grabbed a towel from her bag and wrapped it over her shoulders.

"Ok Jeff can you phone the ED tell them we are bringing someone in don't mention names got that" she watched as Jeff got up left and sprinted to the ambulance. "Right Ray I'm going to need what happened sweetheart. Zoe?" she asked "Zoe can you hear me it's me Dixie" there was silence. Dixie heard Jeff start the engine and he pulled across the grass over to where they were standing. "Ray I'm going to need you to help me get her into the ambulance" Dixie said Ray lifted her legs as Dixie her arms and they carried her on the stretcher as he turned to get out "Ray can you come with us we have to make sure you haven't inhaled any carbon monoxide" she said she heard Jeff put the sirens off as she closed the ambulance doors and set off towards Holby.

Nick 

"In coming female multiple burns to the back and front also lots of other injuries which aren't related to the fire she was found in her apartment by a neighbour completely naked."

"Name?" asked Noel  
"We haven't been given one" Nick said frustrated  
"ETA" Sam asked  
"5 minutes that was about 4 minutes ago" he said at that moment the ED Doors were banged open. Nick ran to the door as all his fears were confirmed.

Dixie

"This is Zoe Hanna 28 found by her neighbour in her apartment, where we believe the fire started multiple lacerations to the back and various other cuts and bruises which are unrelated. She was also found completely naked and with what we think must be petrol on her back. GCS 1 with BP at 50/70"  
"Rhesus 2" Nick said holding on.  
"Nick are you sure it's a good thing for you to treat her" Linda said grabbing on as well. Dixie looked surprised and confused at Linda wanting an explanation.  
"I'm fine Linda I've got this" he growled roughly pushing Zoe though the doors. "Zoe" he murmured quietly "Linda can you attach Saline drip, Tess can you examine the burns and Jay can you call for an MRI and CT"  
"Do you need any help in... ZOE" Sam cried as she stepped in and walked to the bed.  
"We're fine Dr Nicolas" Mr Jordan said ushering for her to go.  
"Mr Jordan she only has partial thickness burns so need for skin grafts" Mr Jordan sighed in relief. Dixie was stood in the corner of the room watching in horror as Zoe's sats dropped. The heart rate monitor gave out and flat lined "She's in respiratory arrest" Mr Jordan said, "Get ready to shock charging to 180 and shocking" he said quickly. Mr Jordan started CPR "Tess any output" he said still performing CPR, he watched for Tess' reaction  
"Yes" she said in relief.  
"Ok let's get her off to CT and then back down here for an MRI" Mr Jordan said.

Nick

_Goodbye beautiful _he said thought. Nick left rhesus quickly "Where's was Dr Strong" he said angrily  
"What?" Jay said  
"He was told the only way she was to be discharged was if he was supervising her all the time." Nick started shouting "Someone phone Dr Strong and tell him I'm going to kill him." Jay smiled and picked up the phone and dialled Dr Strong's number.  
"Mr Jordan" the voice came from behind him  
"Dixie how can I help you" he asked.  
"This is Ray Bridge he went into Zoe's burning apartment and saved her life!" Dixie smiled "He needs to be checked over for smoke inhalation."  
"Ok thanks Dixie, Jay can you take this gentlemen to cubicle 3" Nick said determined to make sure that man was ok. _After all he had saved Zoe's life. _

Nick went to reception grabbed a bar of chocolate and headed over to Cubicle 3 "Ok Mr Bridge let's get you looked at."


	9. Result

Nick

"So Ray I wanted to thank you "Nick said graciously.  
"You're the Clinical Lead so I may be missing something but I thought she was married to that black haired man" Ray asked confused.  
"I AM the Clinical Lead and Zoe is one of my friends well were ex's really but anyway how well do you know Zoe" he asked hoping for a change in subject.  
"Not very well actually" he said surprising Nick and Jay. "Yh I always had intended to get round to talking to them however the only time I knew they were in was when they were arguing, which was practically every night and day even as 3:00 in the morning."  
"Really" Nick said "I thought her and Matt had a great marriage."  
"Oh her husband was Matt?" he asked inquiringly  
"Yh why?" Nick asked surprised  
"Well lots of the arguments, I say arguments as a lose term it was more him shouting at her. First of all when all the arguments started I would here her shouting back however it just became less and less I don't even hear her anymore. Anyway lots of the arguments were about a man named Nick who Zoe was in love with" Ray said. Nick heard his heart start beating very quickly _did he just, no _he thought  
with a pause he added "Do you know a Nick?" he asked quietly.  
_He had he'd just said Nick, _"Y...Yes me" he said slowly "When did you hear that" he asked.  
"What that oh last night and tonight, he did say some horrible things. I had presumed they'd gone out as I heard the door to the apartment close and no more shouting. But I went out of my apartment and saw smoke coming from under the door and saw blood on the carpet so broke down the door shouted for help. I walked in her apartment and she was lying there in blood completely naked with the fire blazing around her so I quickly grabbed her and got her out the building." He finished slowly Nick looked at him  
"Hang on blood we weren't told of the blood I have to go" Nick said and left the cubicle it was good timing, Zoe had just come back down from the CT.

"Change of plan" he said walking into rhesus "Cancel the MRI Jay" he said taking a seat beside Zoe's bed.  
"Ok I'll be staying with Zoe everyone else can leave!" he said commandingly.  
Nick watched as everyone left "What happened to you Zo" he said quietly

"Who would have done this to you? You're the most beautiful, sexy girl I have ever seen. I'm sorry for everything I have ever said to you and for everything I will go onto to say. Zoe I don't know how to say any of this but I love you and I promise that whatever happens I will look after and protect you." He smiled reassuringly and rested his hand on Zoe's. Nick immersed himself in what might have been thinking about how Zoe had saved his life by signing those papers. He was in love with her even then despite how he acted. C_ough cough_ Nick looked up quickly she still looked awful however this sign of life was encouraging  
"Zoe" he said quietly  
"Nick" she said her voice croakily.  
"Zoe" he was staring at her "What happened baby?" he pushed her gently.  
"Nick" she said trying to dissuade him  
"Where was Matt" he asked he saw Zoe gulp.

Zoe

"Where was Matt" Nick asked _what they hadn't guessed, she needed an excuse, a good excuse _she gulped. Quietly she gulped and took a deep breath which hurt her ribs  
"Nick he left."  
"WHAT" Nick shouted "I TOLD HIM NOT TO LEAVE YOU" he was still shouting and Zoe felt herself start to cry.  
"I'm sorry" It was an instant reaction now whenever someone got angry with her  
"Oh Zoe what do you have to be sorry about" he said tilting his head.  
"I don't know" she said her eyes wide and her voice full of confusion.  
"Oh Zo" he said quietly "What happened?" he asked  
she took a deep breath and where Matt had kicked her was starting to hurt like crazy.  
"Why am I here" she asked trying to remember a question she was surprised she hadn't asked earlier.  
"Zoe there was a fire at your building" he muttered to her, she turned to him her eyes wide and threw the covers off herself and jumped off the bed she had to check everyone else was alright there were kids in that building "Zoe sit down" Nick said trying to calm her it didn't work she opened the rhesus doors only noticing now she was wearing a hospital gown. "Zoe" Noel said  
"I'm fine" Zoe said "I need to check the building."  
"Zoe listen to me" Nick said quietly trying to reassure her. "You're ok, everyone in your buildings ok, but Zoe I need you to calm down." Nick said walking towards her.

"N...n...what?" she said completely confused the whole of the ED were looking at her.  
"Zoe" she span round quickly to see a man in his late 40's looking at her.  
"D...do I know you?" she said her brown eyes wide with fear.  
"No my name is Ray Bridge I pulled you out your apartment" Ray said.

With a sudden flash she remembered what had gone on between her and Matt when they had entered the apartment

_"I'm going to make you pay" Matt said she was shaking about ready to pass out. "I'm going to make you wish you hadn't been born" as the last thing she felt was petrol being poured onto her back making the cut that Matt had made by breaking glass over her ache. _

"Get off me" Zoe said suddenly she started aching and twitching.  
"Zoe" Nick shouted Zoe fell down on the floor "Zoe" he said again. Nick reached his arm over to Zoe and picked her up Zoe put his arm on his when a voice behind her made her jump,

"Zoe, Zoe, Zoe" Matt said his voice was etched with concern. Zoe span round and stumbled away from Nick

"Matt" she said rather as if she was drunk. Zoe gulped and swayed unsteadily on her feet  
"Zoe we need to get you in bed." Nick said quietly and calmly.  
"YOU DON'T TELL HER WHAT TO DO" Matt shouted everyone turned to him in complete shock.  
"Look Matt..." Nick started  
"YOU DON'T CALL ME THAT" Matt was still shouting. Zoe watched as Ray stepped forward  
"Hello my name is Ray Bridge I live next door, I found your wife in your apartment." Ray extended his arm to greet Matt  
"Yh whatever" he said not caring. "Zoe we're going" he screeched she just stood there swaying "ZOE" he said again more loudly. "ZOE MOVE NOW" he yelled she jumped slowly moving herself back against the rhesus doors.  
"Look Dr Strong I need you to lower you're tone she's been through a lot." Nick said calmly stepping in front of Zoe  
"Zoe can you go back to your bed please!"  
"DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU, YOU DON'T TALK TO WIFE LIKE THAT" Zoe flinched trying to side step behind Nick. Zoe watched as Linda stepped to calm Matt down  
"Dr Strong your wife is quite upset and in a bad place" Linda gestured to Zoe in the corner, "Is it possible for you to talk to her and see it's a good idea to get back into bed" Linda asked concerned. Matt stepped pass Nick and Linda and grabbed a cowering Zoe by the wrist "WE ARE GOING" he yelled. Tugging her towards the door Matt twisted her wrist and suddenly she thought _why am I putting up with this _Zoe quickly tugged her wrist out of Matt arm. "ZOE" he yelled as he saw her wrist had flopped to her side she looked terrified and felt blackness close over her eyes as once again she blacked out.

Nick

"ZOE" he shouted as soon as he saw her faint he ran to her "Dr Strong if you can follow us to rhesus. Nick picked Zoe up from the floor and carried her in "Linda attaches the heart rate monitor."  
"Mr J BP is 40/50" Linda said highly concerned.  
"Ok Linda push the fluids we need to get her blood Pressure up" Nick said urgently.  
"Ok Zoe we are going to need you to stay with us" Nick said sweetly. "Jay can you put another line, we need 2 get salt and fluids in her ASAP" he commanded. Jay did as he said and they watched with baited breath to see if their efforts had worked.

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep_. They were all staring at Zoe sats waiting to see if they went up or down. Everyone took a sharp breath and relaxed sats 50/70 80/70 90/70 110/70. _She was in the normal range _Nick thought slowly. Nick watched as Zoe's eyes flickered open  
"Hello" she said quietly.


	10. Sweet lies

Zoe

"Hello" she said quietly. She was aware everyone was looking at her for some form of explanation and she couldn't care.  
"Zoe" Nick started quietly "We have reason to believe..." he started.  
"For goodness sake don't beat around the bush" Matt said, Zoe jumped she wasn't aware Matt was in the room.  
"Are you eating?" Nick asked quietly  
_what _Zoe thought _of course she ate._ She started thinking quickly about the last time she had eaten and realised with a sickening thud she hadn't eaten in 4 days. She felt bile in her throat as sick entered in her mouth and she vomited over the bed.  
"Zoe" Nick yelled  
"I'm fine, I haven't eaten in 4 days though" she whispered.  
"Oh Zoe" he said sweetly.  
"I would prefer it if you didn't show your affair to me" Matt said icily "Perhaps you could leave that to your own time." Zoe felt herself blush but before she could say anything  
"WHAT, nothing is going on between me and Zoe" Nick said quickly, too quickly.  
"Nick I'm ok to be discharged aren't I" Zoe said nervously.  
"Zoe no way we need to admit you to CDU for a couple of hours and then the police will want to talk to you."  
"POLICE, I am not talking to the police why would they want to talk to me" she said hysterically.  
"Zoe the fire started in YOUR apartment and you were found naked in the same apartment." Nick explained slowly  
_this was a different thing it was one thing lying to her colleagues and friends it was another thing to lie to the police. _  
"Its ok baby I'll be here with you" Matt said smiling and resting a hand on her shoulder. Zoe buckled under the pressure he put on her and she looked up in silent defiance he returned it with an _I'll make you pay look_. Zoe watched as one by one everybody left completely aware that there was nothing she could do to defend herself.

"So" he murmured caressing her ear "What to do with you" he smiled kissing her. She sat in her bed rigid as board while Matt sat on her bed. He moved his hand over her breast and down to her hip holding on. Matt used his available hand to clasp onto her back tightening the hold around her. Zoe felt totally helpless against it she couldn't even move. "You move and I tell everyone what a bitch you really are" Matt said whispering in her ear. She recoiled quickly "I I I'mm sorry" she stuttered quietly.  
"I thought so" Matt said brushing her hair out of her eyes and kissing her gently on the forehead.

Sometime later after Matts constant reminders of his urges Nick came to CDU to find them.  
"So" he started "The good news is your burns are all second degree so should heal in time. The bad news is however we have gone over your X rays and we have noticed some old injuries that we were not aware of that didn't happen today or from the fall down the stairs we need to know how this happened as we think you're suffering from heart problems as a result. Also and I have to say this we can't discharge you we are waiting for a bed upstairs we did try however you back to quickly after the first time." Nick turned his back on them and quickly Zoe and Matt exchanged a look.  
"If you must know I got myself into a disagreement with a wall and some dustbins a couple of weeks to months ago." Zoe said highly embarrassed. A look of relief spread of Matts face as Nick soaked up every word of her lie. She felt like she wanted to shake him to point out what was happening and throughout it nobody seemed to care. Nick turned and left them and came back minutes later with the fantastic news that a spot on one of the wards had opened up.


	11. Family ties and Dr's orders

Nick

"As I was saying because of this recent outbreak of swine flu plus the fact the St James ED is shut I need all hands on deck..." he paused and saw Zoe walk in it was her first day back after she had been in the fire and rather than the bruises on her arms getting smaller they were getting bigger this was something that really worried him."Right everyone back to your busy jobs!"  
"Dr Hanna late for our first shift back our we." he watched as she opened her mouth and closed it again. "Good" he said loudly "Dr Hanna I think we need a word" he said pulling her arm again  
"Look I said I'm sorry" she replied quickly.  
"No, I'm, not talking about that however your time keeping needs effort I'm talking about defying direct instructions from a Dr which were relax, however for some reason you feel you know better than the specialist doctors. The bruises on your arm are bigger" he finished with a look at her.  
"I it's nothing don't worry Nick" she smiled trying to reassure him.  
"I am worried" he said leaning in  
"It's ok" Zoe smiled.

It was frustrating behind her perfect smile Nick knew that something wasn't right but he knew she would never say it. "Zoe you can talk to me" he smiled and moved her hand over her hip. He felt her shudder suddenly and his smile froze and faltered  
"Are you ok?" he said going to lift her top up. She pulled away quickly  
"I'm fine" she said aggressively. "I'll get to work" she said and he watched her storm out and not for the first time Nick got the impression something wasn't right.

"Zoe" he said trying to follow her however she had slammed the staff room door in his face.

Zoe 

_How dare he, how dare he try and interfere with her life. _She really loved him however she knew nothing could come of it. She let herself think for a second what her life would have been like if she had left Matt all those years ago. "Earth to Zoe" Tess said waking her up from her daydream "There's an 9 year old girl in cubicle 3 waiting for you."  
"Ok thanks Tess" Zoe said walking towards cubicle 3. She opened the curtains and gasped. The man that stood in front of her was dark skinned the same as her with her dark brown her.  
"Jacob what are you doing here?" she asked  
"I think that is your job" her brother joked "And its Casey that has the problem."  
"Hey Casey, what's wrong?" Zoe said kindly sitting down on the bed.  
"Dr Hanna we need you're signature on some medication for the patient in cubicle 6." Linda said and gasped as Zoe walked over to give the signature.  
"Casey Hanna" Linda said reading the chart "Hang on a minute is this you're..." Linda tried to finish.  
"Brother yh he is Jacob Linda, Linda Jacob" Zoe murmured.  
"You never said you had a brother or a niece, how are you darling?" she turned to Casey. Casey turned to Linda her big brown eyes wide  
"My stomach hurts and I was sick."  
"Ok, so that answers the next question I was going to ask" Zoe smiled laughing. On a serious note she continued "So how long as the vomiting been going on?"  
"3 days" Jacob said thinking deeply.  
"Ok any diarrhoea, shortness of breath or a temperature?" she asked  
"Just a temperature..." Jacob started  
"I have had diarrhoea "Casey said as Jacob turned to her.  
"Why didn't you tell me sweetie?" Jacob asked "Sorry Zo are we wasting your time." Linda and Zoe looked at each other

"We have a more pressing worry right now... Jacob we believe Casey is suffering from Nora virus" she said gently.  
"What... how can she" he said stuttering.  
"Jake I understand it's difficult but we need to know where she has been and who she has been in contact with. Oh and Linda can we write out a prescription for antibiotics and set her up on a drip" she said slowly. "Jake she's going to need to have regular hydration when was the last time she drank something?" she asked  
"Yesterday lunch she didn't want to drink anything throughout the day" he said apologetically.  
"Right she needs to stay hydrated energy drinks are good as well as squash" she said "Jake are you listening?" she asked.  
"Yh course I am keep her hydrated just because her mother's not around doesn't mean i don't know how to look after my daughter." He cried stretching his hand up and messing up her hair "Jake" she cried in indignation. Linda smiled and laughed and left the cubicle Zoe followed trying to flatten her hair. Seeing Jacob had had lifted her spirit "Hello" she said cheerily to Noel.  
"Wow why are you in a good mood?" he asked cautiously  
"Oh it turns out Zoe has a brother and get this a niece" Linda laughed.  
"What Zoe Hanna good with children" Noel laughed.  
"Hanna" came a voice from behind her!


	12. Love

Zoe

Zoe turned around quickly "Matt...Hey...what are you doing here" Zoe's change in body language was noticeable as took a step back "You know I'm mid shift" Zoe said quietly. "I know that stupid" he said rather harshly "What he mean by Zoe Hanna?" Matt asked and Zoe felt her step back again  
"It was a slip Noel knew me before we got married even now they are making mistakes." Zoe said quickly trying to cover up the lie  
"Liar "Matt said again harshly  
"Why are you here?"She asked trying to be confident.  
"To see you" he said sweetly  
"Well you've seen me and now if you don't mind I have patients to treat." She said aggressively knowing she would pay later, Zoe turned quickly but Matt had grabbed her wrist and pulled her in.  
"You ever do that to me again and I kill you! You got that!" he whispered he then pushed her away and she stumbled back.  
"Zo I know you have patients..." Jacob said loudly Zoe froze she hadn't told Matt that she had a brother and the two hadn't met how was she going to play this.  
"I'm sorry obviously when you said you were busy I was just interrupting you and..." Matt said just as loudly.  
"Actually..." Zoe started but trailed off.  
"Excuse me I would appreciate it if you didn't talk to my sister like that" Jacob said stepping in front of Zoe.  
"You're her..." Matt said as he turned his head to stare at Zoe.  
"Matt this is my brother Jacob, Jacob this is my husband Matt" she murmured.  
"Husband" Jacob said repeating Zoe "When and does Lucas know?" Jacob said confused  
"Lucas? Who the hell is Lucas?" Matt said still loudly. Zoe was now aware that the whole ED was looking at her and thinking it strange that the families were never introduced but she didn't want them to be, the truth was she hadn't seen any of her family since he had been with Matt. She didn't want them knowing Matt she knew they would see right through all of her lies.  
"Lucas is my other brother." Zoe said like she was pointing out the obvious  
"DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME" Matt shouted Zoe stepped back again.  
"Dr Hanna can I suggest you take this in my office." Nick said politely.  
"SEE HE SAID IT AGAIN!" Matt shouted Zoe stepped back again.  
"Don't speak to my sister like that again" Jacob said starting to get angry. Zoe watched as Nick tried to usure them into his office Zoe could laugh she knew he wouldn't move so she took the first step and went towards his office dragging Jacob along with her. Matt followed eventually as when they all entered Nick shut the door behind them.  
"SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF" Matt shouted  
"I'm sorry" she said Jacob looked at her outraged  
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Matt my family our family haven't talked to Zoe in 4 years ever since our dad died no one has really talked to each other. I would appreciate that you don't get mad at Zoe it's not her fault." Jacob put his arm around Zoe and Matt stared at her eyes gazing menacingly into hers. Zoe could have laughed Jacob thought he was doing her a favour but he wasn't sensing Matts rage she backed away. "Jacob I need to talk to Matt can you ask for Dr Nicolas or Dr Winter to take over Casey's care." She said assertively  
"Zoe" he said he looked at her she returned the look and he left slowly.

Nick

"Can't believe Zoe had a brother who knew?" Jay said amazed  
"2 brothers" Noel corrected him.  
"Guys let's leave the gossip for another time we all have jobs to do" Nick said quickly, he knew Zoe wouldn't appreciate there talking about her. He saw Jacob reappear and presumed there meeting was over. "Hey" he said politely as he walked towards his office. He went though the double doors  
"YOU'RE A BITCH A LYING, CHEATING LITTLE BITCH". Nick froze  
"Please" with a jolt of realisation he realised it was Zoe's voice; he etched foreword just as Matt left the office in the opposite direction to where Nick was. Nick dashed to the door of the office. He opened it and saw Zoe lying there on the office floor her clothes scattered round the office the scars from the fire and other injuries Nick hadn't seen from last time  
"Please don't" Zoe cried as Nick entered the room.  
"Zoe" Nick tried to make his voice as soft as possible he watched her freeze and tense up. He walked towards her kneeling down and stroking her hair "It's ok sweetie" he paused trying to think of the right words to say _this was Zoe for God sake, Zoe wouldn't she couldn't be.__  
_"This is not what it looks like" Zoe stuttered grabbing a cushion and cowering in a corner hoping that he wouldn't notice the bruises.  
"Zoe it's me" he said tilting his head sympathetically and picking up her bra and handing it to her.

Zoe  
She took it and tried to collect the rest of her clothes without Nick seeing the bruises. _How was she going to explain this he wouldn't believe anything she said_  
"I..." she trailed off Nick made a quick movement towards her and she quickly brought her hands up to cover her face.  
"I'm sorry Zoe" he said quietly going forward to hug her, she didn't walk foreword but neither did she step back. Zoe tried to make a sound  
"Hush you know you can talk to me Zo".  
"I..." she hesitated and backed away putting her bra on and then her t shirt and scrub top.  
"Zoe don't try and give me some lame excuse, because I heard Zoe, I heard" Nick said gently.  
Zoe gulped "Nick he didn't mean it, I...I wound him up, I didn't tell him the truth."  
"Zoe you did not deserve this" he said disgusted  
"Yyyou don't understand" she said quietly

Nick

Nick looked appalled at Zoe  
"See even you think I'm disgusting" she said quietly putting her skirt on.  
"Zoe" he said softly "What happened to you?"  
"Iii told you he he didn't mean it, I provoked him"  
"How many times Zo you are a good person even though you didn't tell him about your brother that dosent matter. You're a beautiful person Zoe a sexy, intelligent, bubby and unique can tell me anything I'm you're doctor from now on and I can't tell a soul" He smiled and led her to a chair for her to sit down.  
"He never intends to..." she started but Nick interrupted her shocked  
"This has happened more than once" he said looking extremely shocked and Zoe looked like a rabbit caught in the head lights.  
"I...I...I thought you guessed, I'm sorry" she finished quietly.  
"Oh Zoe you have nothing to be sorry for" he bent down to look her in the eyes.  
"Thanks" Zoe smiled for the first time since Nick had entered the office and it was infectious and he smiled back at her.  
"I should go he'll be wondering where I am" Zoe said with a strange note of calmness in her voice.  
"Zoe you can't go back to him he..." Nick said loudly and finished rather lamely  
"Raped me" Zoe finished "He's done worse Nick." It was with these words that Nicks stomach dropped and he suddenly remembered something.  
"THE FIRE" he shouted "THAT WAS HIM, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM I'M GOING TO KILL HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS" he turned and saw Zoe quickly jump back and cower away from him. "Zoe" he said his voice suddenly gentle again there was something about seeing her like this so vulnerable and open "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything look" he said slowly extending his hand to touch hers. Zoe held her hand up to his and he led her slowly out of the office "Zoe you don't have to go back to him you can stay with me" he said turning to her.  
"I can't" Zoe said starting to cry "I made a commitment" she said her eyes watering Nick tenderly wiped away her tears with his hand.  
"Zoe" he said almost begging her "Look if you are going to go back I need you to promise me that you will call me if anything happens. Zoe you know you can always rely on me." She looked gratefully at him her eyes shining more brightly that he had ever seen them shinning with Matt and she smiled cutely exposing a very odd side to the usually outgoing doctor.  
They walked though the double doors towards Zoe's family and Matt "Hey" he said and he left leaving Zoe with her family and unfortunately Matt. He did here them however make plans for Jacob, Linda and Casey to come over for dinner. Nick smiled when he heard he seemed to think that Linda and Jacob would get together. He turned back towards his office as Zoe and Matt left. He was nervous he thought he could cope but he couldn't and he knew he couldn't stop being nervous and though he wouldn't admit it to himself he was still in love with her. He entered his office and remembered the scene that had taken place and how disturbed she had been. He quickly sat down at his desk grabbed his phone and rang Zoe's number

beep beep, beep beep, beep beep hello this is Zoe I can't come to the phone right now so leave a message or not I don't care. Nick cursed and hung up the phone!

**Hey please comment with what you think! Minxheartxxx**


	13. Help

Matt

_We were inviting them back, that snot nosed brat and my cheating wife's brother and that bitch from the hospital. Zoe was going to burn in hell for this; she was going to get what was coming to her.__  
_"Matt" Zoe said quietly interrupting her from his thoughts "Are you ok?" She said moving towards him.  
"Yh, what's got you in such a good mood?" He said seductively  
"My brothers coming over" she said excitedly. He sighed and stopped flirting  
_Of course her brother._ He turned away from her "You better hurry up "he barked at her angrily. He grabbed himself a glass of wine and downed it  
"Matt can you not drink anything until they arrive" Zoe muttered nervously.  
"I'M SORRY DID YOU SPEAK" Matt shouted at her and he watched her flinch back.  
"I'm sorry" she said quickly "I didn't..." the door went he watched as she intended to answer it, he quickly stepped in the way and opened the door fixing a fake smile on his face.

Zoe

The door shut and she knew she was going to get what was coming to her. The dinner had been a disaster Casey had been a breath of fresh air but even she didn't lighten the mood. Zoe watched as Matt walked towards her a smile playing on his lips and she snapped and tried to run "Run, run, run as fast as you can" he laughed as she tried to get to the door. She threw her hand on the door handle and tried to open it and realised with a sudden horror why he was laughing. "Let me out" she screamed banging on the door she heard him approach and he pulled her away from the door and carried her into the kitchen slapping her roud the face and punching her in the stomach. "I'm sorry" she said quietly he kicked her in the back as she turned and rolled to the side against the work surface. She heard a flick and passed out...

She felt herself being kicked awake what must of been only a couple of minutes later. He quickly moved on top of her and pulled her top off and smiled as he grabbed the newly boiled kettle. "Please" she begged screaming in horror as she realised what he was doing, he didn't listen and poured the water over her slowly and smiling. She started to scream but he stuffed her t shirt in her mouth so she couldn't scream. He pulled her up by her neck and got the pre made glass of water and pills and held her nose gasping for air she took a breath and the pills were forced into her mouth. Roughly, she was forced to drink the water. "Please stop" she said tiredness spreading all over her and she passed out for the second time.


	14. Police

Zoe 

the sunlight shone though the window and onto her face. It was a peaceful looking morning keeping in tradition with the Red sky last night. Zoe felt the sunlight in her eyes and went to sit up with a thud of pain she remembered the burns and clutched her side. Her head span as she tried to stand "Matt" she whispered hoping for once he would take pity on her. There was no answer not that she had expected he was still angry with her. She wished she had never organised the dinner at least now Matt would be talking to her. she found the T shirt from yesterday and pulled it on and with annoyance realised it didn't cover the burns. "Matt" she said again a little louder now but he still didn't answer. "I'm sorry i shouldn't have provoked you" she conseeded quietly this he heard and with a click of the lock she was allowed out slowly she exited the room and made a dash for a pile of longer t shirts to go under her scrubs. She found one and quikly pulled it over her head. She went back into her room grabbed some make up and set at work concealing the work Mat had done. It hadn't taken long by now she was an expert in the concealing of the bruises it was just trying to keep them hidden at work. She walked out of her bedroom and walked for the door. She tried to pull it but it wouldn't move and visions from the previous night were in her mind. "I installed some measures" he said coming up from behind her and frightening her in ways he couldn't imagine. "Where do you think you are going?" he asked  
"I I have work" she said quietly  
"I know that but what about my breakfast and my coffee" he argued meanicingly.  
"Sorry" she was used to saying that word now it was virtually used in all her sentances.  
"You better be" Matt growled Zoe fixed him some breakfast and cooked him some sausages while he just started at her. After she had finished she slid the sausages on the plate with eggs, beans and bacon and chips. "Coffee" he prompted  
"Sorry" she cried jumping into the air and grabbing a mug out of the cuboard set about pouring the already boiled water over the coffee granules. She handed him his coffee "Matt I really need to get to work" she said quietly and very polite.  
"YOU WILL GO WHEN I SAY YOU CAN" he roared and she jumped backward he jumped to his feet and grabbed her shoulder where he had poured the water on and pulled her toward the door Zoe whimpered in pain as he unlocked the door, pushed her in the lift and to the car he then locked the doors and drove her to the hospital. As soon as they arrived she got out, Matt followed grabbing hold of her wrist "You don't have to accompany me if you don't want to" she murmed pathetically he ignored her pushed her inside and froze. She felt Matt freeze up as well as Ray Bridge stood in front of the pair of them with police men. _It was a coincidence _she thought quickly and she felt Matt release her shoulder and he made a sharp exit Zoe to tried to avoid attention however Noel saw her.

"Dr Hanna" he called she igonred him and quickly made her way to the staff room "Dr Hanna" he called again still she ignored him. She closed the staff room door and made her way over to the sofa sat down and put her head in her hands.  
"Zoe" Linda turned to look at her and she jumped up obviusly no one could know what was happening.  
"Yes" Zoe said  
"Mr Jordan was looking for you" Zoe sighed and exuses and allibies were going though her head she was not going to let people think that she was a battered wife.

She had changed and had left the staff room the polce were still there "Zoe Strong" one of the said.

"Yes" she said weakly  
"We need to talk" the second one asked gestering to Tess' office she followed them in ready for the questions.

"Take a seat" the first officer instructed and she did right on the edge of the seat. "Dr Strong" he started  
"Zoe Dr Strong is my husband" Zoe said couragously.  
"Ok Zoe we need to talk to you regarding the law of unlawful sound."

"What Zoe said agased "I don't know what you are talking about" she said quickly.  
"We think you do we are refering to the fact that gre your husband and yourself are causing lots of problems for the neighbours this is your warning if you don't reducing the amount of noise you make we will be forced to arrest you. She noodded slowly to show she had understood. The police officers left the room and it was just Zoe sitting there alone and without a friend in the world _but that wasn't true_ she thought quickly. She saw him enter though the ED doors and smiled he looked straight though her and she lost her smile and grabbed a cubicle case keen to stay away from Nick.  
"Hey Mr Andrews I'm Dr Hanna" she said entering the cubicle and looked up. The man in front of her was pitiful his hair was messy he had a busted lip, a bruise was forming on his face, he had cuts all down his arms and knowing what they were liked suspected broken ribs. "You can call me Zoe" she said kindly  
"I don't need your pity" he snarled.  
"I know you don't, I need to acess your injuries though" she smiled trying to reasure him.  
"Fine" he said taking his top off, Zoe slowly walked towards him and put her stethascope on his heart checking for a phenemathourax.  
"You don't have a phenemathourax however I'd like to get an x ray of your ribs to rule out the posibility of broken ribs" Zoe said gently.  
"I don't need your pity" he said turning his head away.  
"Ok no pity" she smiled encouraginly and left the cubicle. She stepped out and Nick stepped in her way  
"Zoe why were the police here" Zoe ignored him and strarted talking to Linda.  
"Linda can you order a chest x ray for Mr Andrews" she said walking off and trying to avoid Nick.  
"Zoe i asked you a question?" He said trying to keep up "Zoe" he repeated she felt someone on her arm and she jumped and turned around.  
"Get off" she said as he touched one of the newly formed bruises she pushed him away and walked quickly off knowing that she had shocked him.  
"Dr Hanna" Jay shouted she turned " We need you in rhesus."  
"Is there no one else that could cover it" she sighed  
"N yes Nick you're needed in rhesus." Jay said and nodded to her Nick glanced over to Zoe and she looked away. Zoe smiled in relief and headed back to Mr Andrews cubicle seeking some refuge. "Hi" Zoe said entering the cubicle  
"What do you want? To run more tests or something" He was still moody.  
"I just want to talk" Zoe smiled encouraginly with a hint of her own sadness in her voice.  
"Whats up babe?" he asked and for the first time Zoe saw an actual man behind his moody exterior.  
"Everythings just gone rubish" she said her voice choking back tears.  
"Come here" he said beckoning her for a hug and she walked towards him. He put his hand on her back and she flinched  
"Zoe whats wrong?" He asked again moving his hand her stomach and she lifted her top up and predictitley he gasped.  
"Oh Zoe" he said sympathetically  
"I don't need your sympathy" Zoe growled "Anyway we should we be talking about you Mr Andrews"  
"Call me Mark" he smiled and she laughed. She pulled her top down and were about to start talking  
"Zoe there you are I have the X rays results from Mr Andrews" Linda said coming in.  
"Alright I will just take a look" Zoe muttered taking the device from Linda. "Ok yes its as I thought you have 2 fractured ribs but no Phenouthorax" Linda left them and she continued, "How did this happen?" she asked  
"You already know" he muttered not looking at her.  
"Why do I already know?" She said quietly  
"Because... you know your stomach" he said softly.  
"Oh... see thats not" Zoe tried to defend herself  
"Zoe" he smiled "You can trust me." She was about to respond  
"Ah Dr Hanna nice to see this is where you're hiding. Thanks for all your help in rhesus this morning Jay told me."  
"Nick" she said  
"No pull your head in" he said and went to leave  
"Give her a break" Mark said from behind her making Zoe and Nick turn in suprise.  
"Sorry Zoe I shouldn't have spoken to you like that especially when you have a patient" he smiled and looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes. Nick left and Mark turned to her "Is it him" he said loudly. She laughed  
"No he's an ex boyfriend and a really good friend and my boss" she laughed. It was good to laugh she hadn't done so in a long time. "Lets patch up some of these cuts" she grabbed the antiseptics wipes and cleaned some of them up. "I know it sounds hypacritical but you should leave them" she smiled pushing her luck.  
"Who?" he asked  
"Your partner or whoever did this to you" she begged  
"I can't she needs me and i can't let her down" he looked in her eyes and she saw his pain.  
"Fine I think we can discharge you" she smiled only when turned did she drop the smile. She left the cubicle grabbed a form and went back to the cubicle so he can sign out.

They were at reception "Take care Mark" she smiled "And call me if you need anything."  
"The same to you babe" he said hugging her "Thanks for everything Zoe"  
"Whats going on here?" the voice came from behind her and she tensed


	15. Mark, Matt and Nick

Mark

He felt her tense and knew who this man was. "Hey I'm Mark" he released Zoe from a hug and went to shake Matt's hand. In surprise he didn't respond and instead stared at Zoe. "Are you her husband?" he asked  
"Yes he is Matt this is one of my patients Mark" she tried to smile but it failed. At the corner of his eye he saw Nick staring at them  
"You're wife's really helped me, you should be proud." he turned to her and felt her tense he walked past Matt turned and mouthed "Be strong." He felt like a hypocrite though there he was telling her to be brave and he was being abused by his wife.

Zoe

"Hey Matt" she smiled Matt grabbed her arm and pulled her closer "You're a slut, a cheating, lying, slut" he muttered "If you don't do exactly as I say I will make you pay right now!" she shivered and nodded "I thought so" he smiled maliciously. "Now you're going to go over to Nick and tell him you love me and he will leave you alone, then tell him you're going home."  
"But you have work?" Zoe said questioningly  
"DID YOU JUST QUESTION ME" he muttered angrily.  
"No" quickly Zoe tried to move and he let go. Zoe walked over to Nick  
"You have to leave me alone, I'm not worth worrying about" she tried to keep the emotion out of voice but was struggling she turned to leave but he grabbed her wrist and turned her round to face him. "I know that time in the staff room made me fall in love with you. I love you Zoe Hanna and i always have and I always will I can't spend one more day living without you or if i have to I need you to be safe." Zoe looked in his eyes with deep emotional depth and felt her heart start to pound. She quickly remembered Matt  
"I have to go "she muttered quickly and pulled her arm out of his grip.  
"Zoe" he called and she quickly walked towards Matt ignoring him. "Zoe" she ignored him knowing it was going to make it worse. Zoe reached Matt and he grabbed her wrist making it look like they were holding hands. "Hang on Dr Strong" Nick said loudly Zoe cursed.

Nick

He wasn't going to let this happen he wasn't going to let the girl he was in love with leave. "Dr Strong I'm afraid as Zoe full well knows she has a shift to finish." He watched her nudge her "I don't feel well can I go home" she said quietly and without real conviction.  
"No I'm already a doctor down I can't lose you as well" Nick said concretely leaving no room for negotiation. She looked nervously at Matt and Nick watched horrified as she vomited all over the ED floor. "Zoe" he cried as she collapsed on the floor he stooped down and picked Zoe up and carried her into rhesus. Nick watched as Jay ran in to rhesus "Right Jay put a line in and let's get blood cultures, Zoe can you hear me" he cried concerned.  
"Yh" she whispered  
"What happened Zo?" He asked sitting down on the edge of the bed.  
"I'm fine" she said trying to push the covers up  
"You're not you collapsed Zo" he smiled sympathetically.  
"Zoe" Matt said behind Zoe and he saw Zoe jump  
"I have to go I discharge myself" she said completely flustered and starting to get into a state.  
"Zoe" Nick reached out for her and put a hand on her shoulder trying to calm her down.  
"You need to apologise" Matt interrupted loudly  
"I'm sorry" she whispered  
"Louder i don't think he even heard that!" Matt remarked louder. The ironic thing being that Matt was further away than Nick was. "It's ok" Nick comforted her.

Jay  
It was the most awkward place he had ever been in and that was saying something.  
"NO IT IS NOT OK APOLIGSE LOUDER" Dr Strong shouted. There was something about this man anytime Zoe got hurt he came in all guns blazing. He expected Zoe to refuse or to give some sarky comment but she didn't she caved  
"I'm sorry" she said a little louder Matt snorted "Pathetic" he was mocking her.  
"Dr Strong we're going to have to ask you to wait in the relatives room" he said trying to intervene.  
"I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY BLOODY WIFE!" He yelled and Jay noticed as he did Zoe jumped back as if she was expecting something to happen.

Zoe  
_I couldn't let this happen _she thought Matt was getting dangerously close to lashing out and I couldn't let anyone take the fall for my problems. "How about we take a walk?" she suggested "We won't leave the ED" she added hoping that this would seal the deal. She could tell he wasn't happy but Nick agreed and Zoe went up to Matt and gently touched his arm leading him to the staff room.

As soon as the door at swung shut and the blinds had been closed he started, he took her t shirt off and stuffed it in her mouth and kicked her in her ribs, flicked the kettle on and with that she had tried to get up and tried to escape but she couldn't he only tightened his grip on her. He grabbed a knife and cut her feet and stomach where the burns from yesterday were. The kettle switched off and Matt grasped at her hair and poured the boiling water down her shoulders her stomach and down to her legs. She tried to fight the pain and not giving him the satisfaction of knowing he was getting to her but it was no use she was just his rag doll. A toy he could play and mess around with whenever he pleased with no ramifications.


	16. Reality Check

Zoe It hadn't taken as long as she thought for Matt to vent his anger and she walked out of the staff room and back toward rhesus. Her new burns she had acquired from the kettle were aching but she didn't dare say she walked through the door she could tell something wasn't right. "Clear" Nick said a man was lying on the bed next to hers a man who only a few hours earlier was telling her everything was going to be ok she ran forward towards the bed meaning to help. Nick shocked the man trying to get his heart to beat 19 minutes, 20 minutes, 21 minutes, 22 minutes, she felt like people were starting to give up Nick looked up at everyone. "Are we all agreed" he muttered "No" she yelled "We have to more; we can do more we can try..." Nick turned to look at her a tear in his eye. "No we can't give up" she cried running forward bursting into tears "NO" she screamed and sank to the floor as Nick uttered the only words she didn't want to hear "Time of death 11:53" she started sobbing on the floor. _He had been fine this morning _she thought "What happened?" her voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper. "He was being abused by his partner and when he told his partner that enough was enough she flipped, his daughter said he used the word courage quite a lot." Zoe continued to cry loudly _he'd remembered her and it was her fault he was dead, he had a daughter and because of her own problems she hadn't stopped to think about his._ Nick put a hand on her shoulder and she cried out in pain, everyone looked at her including Matt. "Dr Strong I'm going to have to demand that you leave rhesus and wait in the relatives room or go home my patient does not need the stress." Zoe suddenly felt herself relax as Matt left her "I thought you'd like the quiet" Nick picked her up from the floor and gently placed her in her bed. She gasped in pain as he touched her burn though the T shirt. Nick got a pair of dividers and pulled them across "Zoe is there anything you need to show me?" he asked quietly she nodded silently and embarrassed and pulled her top off letting him see the new additions from yesterday. "OMG ZOE HOW CAN YOU LET THAT CREEP DO THAT TO YOU" he shouted he looked down seeing Zoe cower made him relax again "I'm sorry babe" he said stroking one of the burns. He lowered himself on top of her and she started to kiss him unbuttoning his shirt and pulling him on top of her. She took her skirt off and they started kissing.

Nick kissed her cheek and started running his finger down her neck and down her body. He took her clothes off and she took his and he tried to be as gentle as possible. He tried to avoid the burns on her body and he searched her body kissing every part of her. She continued as well and he hugged her tightly close to her body.

Afterwards Nick looked around appalled and hurried to get dressed. "I love you Nick Jordan" she smiled confessing for the first time her true feeling Nick gave a stunned look of response and wasn't sure how to respond. "Zoe you're married" he said quietly and Zoe turned her back on him and frowned. Nick set about trying to treat the burns but she wouldn't let him she had just seen a friend of her killed by her wife and the only question playing on her lips was would her story have the same ending.


	17. The odd things in life

Nick

He was angry, angrier than he could have thought possible. Zoe looked pathetic and totally lost "I'm sorry Zo; I want us to be together you're everything to me!" He watched as she turned away so he couldn't see her eyes. "Zoe I'm sorry I told you I love you" he begged  
"You don't love me, people are incapable of loving me I HURT anyone I love!" she had turned to face him now and he felt like he could cry from the look of emptiness in her eyes. "Zoe" he chocked making sure not to cry  
"I deserve everything I get" the look in her eye told Nick she meant every word. He wanted to hug and hold her till she felt like she was worth something.  
"Zoe you are beautiful in every way" he smiled though he could tell she didn't believe him.  
"Matt, I want Matt" she said suddenly remembering getting up and feeling guilty.  
"Zoe look lie down I'll get him" Nick said trying to fight an already lost battle.

Zoe

She was being discharged ironic as she had felt better while she was being sick. She felt guilty she had sex with another man and for that she knew she was wrong. Now she couldn't look him in the eye and tell him she wasn't everything he said she was. She was a _dirty, cheating, lying slut who deserved everything she got. _She was leaving with Matt and the only thing she hoped was that when they got home Matt didn't ask her about Nick.

They arrived home and still he hadn't said a word to her they walked through the door and she saw a smile on his lips. "Do you want me to get dinner sorted?" She asked trying to be confident he laughed "Fix us dinner that would be fantastic" he smiled.  
"Ok what would you like?" she asked knowing that this was another thing Matt did to control her.  
"I don't mind you choose" he smiled and it unnerved Zoe this had to be a trick he wasn't going to let her get away with this.  
"Anything?" She questioned quietly  
"Anything you want darling anything you want" there was something about his smile that reminded her of how they met and the man she used to know.  
"How about steak and chips" she dared trying not to push her luck.  
"Of course beautiful!" there was something about that look that unnerved her again.

An hour later she had cooked the meal she had been in the kitchen the whole time so hadn't seen what Matt had been doing in the living room. Zoe was carrying the plates and left the room and entered the living room and gasped...

**Sorry for cliff-hanger plus thanks for gemmaa13 for the follow I'm really looking forward to seeing and reading your work! **

**Minxheartxxx**


	18. The plan

Zoe

She stepped in the living room and gasped, a crème table cloth lay on their solid oak table red candles sat a light on the table next to an old bottle of red wine. The table was set with their best cutlery and two of their fantastic glasses.  
"It's to say sorry" he muttered quietly he walked over to her and gently took one of the plates and with his other hand took her hand and led her to the table. She smiled warmly a first in this apartment  
"I love you Zoe" he proclaimed. She wanted more than anything to say the same though all she could think about was Nick "I love you two" she smiled nervously. They ate their dinner and drank the wine laughing and talking just like they use to... And yet Zoe was sure something wasn't quite right here...

Matt

He was feeling her slip away he knew she was in love with Nick Jordan when he married her he just hoped it would have gone by now. But whether she knew it or not they were meant to be together after all, Nick had let her down treated her like dirt and damaged her heart. While he Matt had saved her fixed her heart and made her better, _Yes Zoe and me against the world_. He had a plan, a plan to get her away from the distractions and the lies but he wanted, needed her to trust him.

Zoe

It had been lovely they had talked about old times, enjoyed laughing about the person she was before she started going out with Matt. They had just finished when she decided to try she leant forward across the table and started kissing him, with relief he started kissing her and they stopped kissing for a second while Matt got up from the table and they resumed kissing each other and caressing the other senses. She remembered Nick from earlier the way he had moved his hips with hers and how he could predict everything he was going to do without needing any signals. The moved to the sofa she could see for the first time Matt's reflection in the mirror and he was happy, happier than she had ever seen before and she suddenly thought of something! She stopped kissing him and jumped back Matt looked surprised at her and she tried to speak realising that with every tiny movement she was growing more and more tired as she felt her eyelids start to blink and then close letting the calmness of sleep take over.

Matt

For Zoe the hard part was over he carried her gently into her bedroom and lay on the bed as if she had fallen asleep and in the morning she would believe this was just a dream, one that involved him and her together. He locked the door and started to tidy away it was with a tiny portion of regret that he remembered the look on her face when he had poured the scolding water down her back. He was doing this for her own good he had vowed he would always look after her and to protect her from straying because he knew deep down she loved him. A knock came from the door to the apartment and Matt walked toward it curiously _He hadn't told anyone where they lived and Zoe was forbidden._ He opened the door quickly to reveal Ray Bridge "Can I help you?" he asked annoyed  
"Um I was actually looking for your wife" Ray smiled broadly.  
"You are?"  
"Ray Bridge we met in the hospital" Ray was cheery but annoying and Matt was cursing himself for not remembering this guy. "What do you want with her?" he asked coolly playing for time  
"I just wanted to tell her that this is a better level of noise than the usual screaming matches" he smiled a toothless grin. "My wife and I's domestic situations are private Mr Bridge they don't concern you" he was trying to be polite but was losing his patients with this man. "I know its private that's the thing Dr Strong it's not private when your neighbours being kept up at funny hours because you 2 can't keep you voice down." Matt turned away he was bored of this man and he shut the door to him while he was in the middle of speaking and instead set about tidying away everything.

Zoe

"Matt" she groaned her head was spinning and she was trying to make sense of the weird event she had just seen it had felt so real and yet she was here sleeping on her bed, in her room surrounded by her things. "Matt" she said again rushing to the door slightly paranoid; she started to bang on the door. It was all rather strange "Please" she begged collapsing against the wall. She heard the lock click and saw Matt enter with breakfast on a tray she wanted to run past him but he ushered her into bed and gave her the breakfast to drink she had orange juice which tasted slightly off. Minutes after finishing she felt her eyelids droop as everything went black.

She woke her just before lunch and it was worrying her "HELP" she screamed scared out of her mind. "Zoe" Matt came in and gave her a reassuring hug sat on her bed and rubbed her back and she felt a sharp scratch on her arm and watched as liquid was being inserted in. Again there was nothing she could do and she felt herself fall limp and lay into his arms.

Matt

It was killing him to do this, to put her under the influence of drugs he knew would be tricky but she believed it so easily which made it scarier. Unlike lots of the things he need he only did this for her, he needed her, he couldn't live without her. On this last occasion of sending her to sleep he left her to get ready for the next stage in his plan...

**Thanks for all the reviews so far please continue to do so **

**Minxheartxxx**


	19. Sweet Expectance

Nick  
Nick was worried, after their fraught conversation last night he was worried. Nick knew Matt was behind everything she had said and he hated him. There was only so much he could do sitting behind his desk she was 30 minutes late and he couldn't help himself worry for her safety. He left his office and went to see Noel "Has Zoe turned up?" he asked quickly. "No" he replied "Is she meant to be in?" he asked  
"Yes she was meant to be in 33 minutes ago" he bit his lip trying to keep the concern out of his voice. Nick decided to call Zoe he needed to know if she was safe he dialled her number on the work phone so Matt wouldn't be suspicious. Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring ring Hello this is Dr Zoe Strong I'm not here right now probably because I'm sleeping or more likely I'm not, leave a message and I will get back to you! Nick cursed and hung up the phone and sighed Sam watched him "Are you ok?" she asked.  
"No Zoe's not here" he murmured annoyed  
"Give her a brake much," she laughed "She was in hospital yesterday"  
"I know I'm just worried about her..." he stopped as he realised he was giving away too much and he quickly turned away. He walked back to his office and tried to get himself immersed in paperwork but it wasn't working he looked at his clock and saw that Zoe was now an hour later. As much as Zoe said she didn't need his help he knew she did. He was constantly worried about her he couldn't face it anymore and went down to reception.

"Noel has Zoe turned up yet?" He asked unable to keep the worry out of his voice.  
"No why Mr J?" Noel questioned Nick had only heard the first word and went round the desk  
"I need Zoe's address" he demanded loudly.  
"Isn't that very radical Mr J she's only an hour late!" Noel stated quickly  
"Trust me" he stated again. Nick grabbed the address off the computer and left Sam in charge he got a cab and told him the address.

He arrived outside the apartment and made him wait in the underground car park. He quickly ran to the lift and pressed the floor; the lift door open and he ran to the door and knocked on the door. The door opened and a women answered "Hello" she said happily and his heart stopped it wasn't Zoe...


	20. It wasn't her

**Sorry its taken a bit longer to update I just got stuck on how I was going to continue.  
**

Nick

_It wasn't her _he thought slowly disappointment registering but wait this wasn't her address but Zoe was still in trouble "You don't know Zoe Hanna do you?" he asked quickly. "No" the women said in a Newcastle accent he turned to go "WAIT" she yelled he turned back "Do you mean Zoe Strong the women who used to live here?" she asked.  
"Yes do you know where she lives?" he was practically begging for good news now and with relief  
"Yes the block of flats on Westside street floor 6 flat 22 with my brother" she finished his heart stopped for a second she was the sister in law.  
"Thanks I have to go" he ran getting to the lift he had to get there quickly who knows what was going to happen.  
"Hang on who are you?" she shouted after him.  
Nick was starting to worry if indeed she was the sister in law then she would call Matt he dialled his phone again for Zoe there was no answer and he cursed and grabbed the taxi and told him the new address. He tried to get the taxi driver to hurry up and after 10 minutes and 33 seconds he arrived. He took the lift and reached the 6th floor. His heart was pounding he needed to get to her while he wasn't definitively sure she was in danger something wasn't right. The ding of the bell for the 6th floor put his heart into his feet. He walked out quickly and knocked on the door loudly and quickly _she had to be there she had to._ The door opened slowly and Matt opened the door and smiled "Welcome Nick Jordan!"  
He recoiled "Where's Zoe?" he said cautiously knowing that she was probably still there.  
"She went out" he stated smiling in a way that suggested she was still there.  
"Matt" the soft vulnerable voice came from behind Matt.  
"Zoe" Nick said smiling at her he saw her looked terrified and stand still  
"Nick" she said and she ran away deeper into the apartment.

Zoe

Her eyes fluttered open slowly trying to take in her surroundings she gasped her she had been having the weirdest dreams. "Matt" she croaked loudly she knew where she was now but it was little comfort. "MATT, MATT" she screamed loudly she heard Matt unlock the door and suddenly got worried she shouldn't have yelled she was going to pay. Matt ran into the room "Zoe what's wrong?" he murmured sweetly  
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled" she cowered in the corner.  
"Baby...its ok darling" he said reaching out to her and gently embraced her in a hug. She blinked  
"Is this another dream" she murmured  
"What darling?" Matt said loudly  
"N nothing" Zoe murmured.

"Let's leave Holby" he said pushing her out of the hug.  
"What I have a job and..." Zoe trailed off  
"And what? Do you remember the old days Zo me and you against the world?" Matt smiled trying to pressure her.  
"I I can't we can't we have jobs" she muttered  
"Zoe take a chance we could do this" Matt laughed. Zoe saw the flicker of the man she used to know and it made her love him, and yet Nick was on her mind she needed him to be safe and happy. What she and Nick had done together she couldn't forget she remembered how he had touched her. She remembered how he had kissed her tenderly and caressed every part of her but she was sure Nick viewed this as a mistake. She wasn't right for Nick he deserved better, better than her, better than a cheating slut who would lead him a stray. She needed him to be happy and happiness for him meant unhappiness for her and so if she couldn't be with him then maybe... maybe she should leave with Matt. She looked at her watch she was an 1 hour late for her shift and her heart fluttered, _no one had called, so nobody cared not even_ Nick. If anything was needed this was it "Yes lets to do it" she broke into a smile and laughed.  
"I'll leave you to pack" Matt smiled  
"What now" she said panicking.  
"Why not we have no one to say goodbye to right" he smiled maliciously.  
"O ok" she stuttered and she went to back her stuff.  
"Zoe" he walked back in and she jumped he walked towards her as she fumbled at the window. "Don't Zoe" he hushed her and reached her and kissed her gently and left the room. She felt her heart flutter for a second and found herself possibly falling for Matt but then banished the thought. She grabbed a pen and paper that she kept under her bed and wrote a note. It was now a case of how she was going to deliver the note she decided she had to do in person. She packed up her stuff pausing as she picked her tiny ginger cat toy and smiled. Her and this teddy had been though a lot together it seemed childish but she had relied so much on this teddy when she had been bullied as a kid this teddy was there, when her dad died the teddy was there and when Matt had started hitting her, the teddy was there. Everything was going to change though her and Matt were going to start a fresh and have a new life together. There was just this one thing she had to do first...

She took a last look around the bedroom she had slept in for a year and closed the door with clothes in hand. "Hey got my clothes" she smiled brightly  
"I love your smile" Matt laughed.  
"Matt" she gulped loudly trying to get up enough confidence for the next thing she wanted to say.  
"What is it Zo?" he asked  
"I want to go to the hospital before we leave" she murmured tilting her head down.  
"Why we have no business at the hospital" he said trying to trap her.  
"I need to speak to Linda" she muttered lying though her teeth.  
"Ok" he said slyly he took her clothes off her and started packing them. She had never told Matt about the little cat she kept she knew he would only use it against her.  
"Why don't you go into our bedroom and have another look round so I haven't missed anything" he yelled as she entered the bathroom. She entered their room and shuddered she was so use to feeling bad in here that even now she felt awful. She looked around the room trying to find anything he had left with a shudder she saw his horse whip on the side of his bed. He had used it on her so many times she wondered if she should tell him it wasn't packed she then realised that wherever they went h would know it wasn't there so would blame her. "Matt" she shouted vulnerably exiting the bedroom walking into the hall and paused standing dead still as he said her name. Her heart stopped and she couldn't help it "Nick" she sounded shocked and ran she couldn't face him!

**Again sorry for the 2 day delay Minxheartxxx **


	21. Sunset

Nick

"Zoe" Nick yelled he looked at Matt his rage was clear in his face he strode his way into the apartment "Zoe!" he shouted he wasn't sure where she had gone. She stepped out of the bathroom "Hey" she said vulnerably biting her lip in a very cute but nervous way.  
"Zoe you have a shift" he tried to keep the concerned tone out of his voice.  
"I'm leaving" she muttered not looking at him.  
"WHAT, Zoe you can't your life's here and your jobs are here plus we need you for your shift now" Nick said in truth they didn't need Zoe but he thought it would give her some time to decide what she wanted.  
"She told you she's leaving; now if you don't understand then you shouldn't be a Dr" Matt's voice was full of menace.  
"Now I must ask you this, how did you get this address?" His smooth tone alarmed him more than the yelling and he could tell it was affected Zoe worse as well.  
"I got it off your sister" Nick spoke loudly and confidently trying to make him back down. He watched happily as Matt cursed  
"Zoe we're going" Matt said sternly he reached over to her and pulled her arm.  
"GET OFF HER "Nick yelled separating the two and stepping in front of Zoe.  
"Dr Strong let's get things straight you and I don't much like each other but I am Zoe's boss and she has a shift to do now I don't care where you go after that shift but for now Zoe needs to be in the ED." He finished to reason with him with a hint of a smile on his face  
"Fine" he muttered "Zoe get your shoes I'll drive you!" he said resuming to his normal volume.  
"I can do that you can pack for the move" Nick said trying to be friendly.  
"It would be easier" Zoe murmured quietly  
"Fine" Matt grumbled.

Zoe

Zoe shut the door to the apartment and sensed what Nick wanted to say.  
"Zoe are you leaving? Because you don't have to you can stay with me?" he asked begging.  
"Nick I..." Zoe started  
"He won't change Zoe he wants to have that control over, he doesn't love you Zo but I do" she pressed the button for a lift. She was left with a choice and Nick actually cared which was a massive surprise. She had based her whole decision to move because he didn't care about her but now...  
"Nick its complicated" Zoe murmured as she stepped into the lift.  
"It's not Zoe he doesn't care but I love you I care so much about you" Nick was begging her but she had to try and ignore him.  
"He wants to change Nick" she said entering the car  
"People like him DON'T change Zo" she could Nick was starting to get angry with her.  
"He loves me I just test his patients" Zoe said honestly  
"Zoe this is not your fault he's an evil twisted..."  
"He's not he loves me" Zoe begged  
"**PEOPLE LIKE HIM ARE INCAPIBABLE OF LOVE**" he spat angrily  
"Pull over" she yelled interrupting him  
"Zoe" he tried to reason with her  
"**I said pull over**" she tried to maintain some level of confidence and Nick pulled over. She opened her door and ran into the fallow corn field and behind a bush. She lay down quickly hoping she wouldn't be spotted.  
"ZOE I'm sorry please come back" she felt her pulse go rapidly fast and stood up shaking. He saw her at once and made towards her but she stepped back quickly and looked like she was going to run.

"Zoe I said I was sorry but look what he's done to you he's made you scared to trust anyone, scared that if your friends with a man then that makes you a bad person. Zoe I have said time and time again you are beautiful and he has tried to destroy everything that you are. But he's failed because your strong too strong to let him destroy you, he may have beaten you down but you can grow again Zoe. He doesn't want a fresh start Zoe, he wants to get you away from anyone that could actually and do actually care about you! You could do anything with your life please... please don't leave Holby" Nick had started the speech confidently but towards the end he had started crying and Zoe felt herself gravitate towards him. She felt herself start to cry and she held out her hand and walked towards him. Her flowing pale blue dress fluttered against the wind as she stepped forward and Nick took her hand. The Sunset sky was now starting to set and it was starting to set fast. He gently took her hand and they walked back to the car and started to drive to the hospital...


	22. Game On

Zoe  
Her and Nick arrived at the ED and Nick took her hand as he opened her car door and they walked into the ED. It was like the conversation in the field hadn't happened they were still the best of friends and slightly more. They walked though the double doors and Noel looked at them and they dropped hands. "Go and get changed Zo" Nick said to her and she walked off contemplating her decision. She entered the staff room in 3 hours she would need all the courage she could muster...

Nick  
Nick sent Zoe off to change he could sense Noel's questioning look. "You were a very long time Mr J" Noel questioned suspicious  
"The address Zoe entered wasn't her correct address" he scowled trying to look annoyed at his staff's inability to conform.  
"Mr J" Noel tried to smile in a way like he knew something. He saw Zoe come out of the staff room and he smiled encouragingly at her as she headed into cubicles he couldn't help thinking in 3 hours he would be able to call her his...girlfriend.

Zoe  
She saw Nick's encouraging smile and smiled back she quickly ducked into one of the cubicles and introduced herself "Hello I'm Dr Hanna" she looked down and saw Casey on the bed "Of course you can call me Zoe" she smiled.  
"So Zoe your still using your maiden name" Jacob smiled he stopped as Zoe stopped smiling.  
"What's up Zo?" he asked concerned  
"Nothing I'm fine" she lied quickly.  
"Zoe I can tell when you're lying to me" he said as if it was obviously.  
"I'm not lying I'm fine" she tried to plaster a smile on her face but he didn't believe her "Look I really shouldn't be treating you" she tried to leave but he grabbed her arm and she screamed "GET OFF" and then jumped back in horror at how she had behaved. "Sorry" she mumbled and as soon as she did Nick entered "Zoe" he said concerned.  
"I'm fine I just over reactive sorry" she muttered again.  
"You have nothing to be sorry for" he murmured touching her arm and she turned to face him her eyes wide with innocence and vulnerability.  
"Are you going to be ok in here I could send Linda in?" he asked kindly  
"I'm fine" she smiled "It's best I get use to it" she bit her lip.  
"How about I get Linda in anyway" he said reassuringly  
"Ok" she murmured _it would be nice to have the company _she thought.  
Jacob looked at her quizzically and she dropped her gaze "Ok Casey I need you to talk to me why are you in the ED" Zoe asked kindly at that moment the curtain opened and Linda entered "I was told to assist" she smiled especially when she saw who the patients were. Zoe nodded and Casey started to talk "I fainted I think, I was dizzy and tired..." she started but didn't have the energy to finish.  
"Ok Casey I'm going to ask you some questions and I need you to answer them for me can you do that?" she asked, Casey nodded her head and Zoe continued "Can you tell me the name of the hospital you're in?" she asked and waited for Casey's answer. She looked totally confused "Linda can you check her pulse for me" Linda walked over and Zoe could tell something wasn't right "She has a very thready pulse" she commented. Zoe put the symptoms together in her mind "Jacob when was the last time Casey drank something?" she asked hoping this would lead her onto something "Um... I think lunch yesterday" he said unsure. Zoe thought about yesterday from what she could remember it was a very warm day. "Right Linda I need you to set Casey up with a 10% dextrose IV. Jacob what Casey is currently suffering from is dehydration" she stated.  
"What but she has been drinking" he raised his voice and she jumped back as if he was going to scold her, Linda noticed and gave her a very weird look. "It's not that she needs more salts and natural minerals in her body and as it was so hot yesterday lots of those were lost and have not been replaced." She had tried to remain calm but she had to run out of cubicles as she felt herself about to be sick and indeed she was into a bowl on the side. She looked at her watch as she wiped away the sick _2 hours to go_ she thought.

Nick

He was doing paperwork in his office he felt better now knowing that Zoe wasn't alone I know he was her brother but still... He decided to check on her and left his office and saw her run out of cubicles he was going to storm into cubicles and start shouting at the brother when he saw her being sick. He walked briskly over and put a hand on her shoulder she flinched and Nick remembered it probably wasn't a good idea to fo that."Zoe it's me are you ok baby?" he asked quietly so only she could hear. "I'm fine" she smiled though she was deathly pale  
"Take a break" he said "I'll take it with you what do you want to eat?" he asked  
"I'm fine I really don't need a break" she argued  
"A break wasn't optional" he smiled "Now I'm going to ask you again what do you want to eat?" He saw her give in  
"Chicken sandwich with mustard, lettuce, tomato and olives" she answered thinking deeply  
"Right" he smiled "You sit down in the staff room and I'll go and get the dinner" he laughed and went to grab the sandwiches, he was about to pay and he noticed the time on his watch _2 hours left..._

Zoe  
She sat waiting in the staff room nothing like that had ever happened to her before It was highly odd. She was desperate for Nick to get back she didn't like being alone she constantly had a nagging feeling telling her something was going to go wrong. Nick interrupted these thoughts bringing in two identical sandwiches she chose one started hungrily devouring it. Nick watched in total amazement as she did this not even coming up for air and started laughing. She turned towards him in the middle of eating wearing a confused expression on her face. She continued eating she finished in practically no time and Nick did offer to get her something else but she declined. Nick motioned to her and she lay down her head in his lap and she felt her eyes go shut for a second little did she know when she would wake only 1 hour would remain...

Nick  
He sat with the girl of his dreams sleeping on his lap. He couldn't help smiling after everything that had happened to that to that Girl and she still looked like an angel. He watched her stir gently and looked at his watch _1 hour left_ he thought. Poor Zoe must be terrified but Nick had made a promise to himself that after today she would NEVER be afraid again.

_"I'm engaged" Zoe said to the entire ED Nick felt his heart fall he had officially lost her. The whole ED set about congratulating her apart from Nick and it was to him that Zoe stared at now. "I'm engaged" she murmured  
"I heard" he hoped he sounded calm and not to upset. "It's for the best, he can give you everything you want like a family and a being a proper couple" he tried to say this with as much conviction as he could muster. "I hope you're very happy together" he said and turned away starting to walk out of the ED. He turned around quickly "Zoe" she looked and walked toward him. He dropped all pretence "Zoe promise me he loves you and he won't hurt you because I will be completely ok with you if you can tell me that."  
"Of course he loves and of course he wouldn't hurt me" and she smiled. Some of the staff came over and whisked Zoe away for drinks and she turned laughing and left he ED._

Even then her smile made him smile and he was still totally captured by it now. Zoe sat up from his lap "Hey babe you feeling better?" he asked sweetly  
"I'm fine" she murmured and Nick started laughing as she got up. He couldn't help himself her hair stuck up at some very odd angels she looked oddly at him and he held out a mirror at this she started laughing as well. "I look a mess" she laughed and Nick had completely forgotten how nice it was to hear her laugh.  
"You're still the most beautiful girl in the world" he said not laughing now  
"You are so lying" she murmured and got up.  
"I have to check on Casey" she said loudly  
"I'll come with" he smiled trying to reassure her in honesty he didn't want to leave her alone with only an hour left. He was worried Matt would come early and there was no way he was going to lose Zoe. "Fine come with me I think it would be great for you to meet my brother" she laughed happily and Nick smiled. Nick and Zoe walked towards Casey's cubicle "Zoe I'll be back in a second" he said looking round the cubicle to make sure Matt wasn't hiding in it. She nodded and he went to see Noel at reception  
"Noel I need to know immediately when Dr Strong arrives and under no circumstance is Zoe allowed to leave this building with him" he finished. Noel looked totally confused at what was being said "Ok don't you think you're over reacting Mr J?"  
"No" Nick answered and walked away and he felt Noel stare after him confused. Nick walked back into the cubicle and introduced himself  
"Hey I'm Nick Jordan you are obviously Jacob Hanna and you little miss must be Casey Hanna" he smiled encouragingly and looked over at Zoe. _She looked like she was going to cry _he thought it wasn't surprising though they only had 1 hour left.  
"It's actually Casey Melody Hanna" she argued in a cute high pitched voice.  
"Well that told you" Zoe smiled and Jacob turned to look at her he too could tell she was on the edge of tears.  
"What's wrong Zo?" he asked  
"N nothing" she said biting her lips and turning away. Nick exchanged a look with Zoe and Jacob saw the look  
"What's going on here? Jacob said slowly.  
"I did just say nothing everything is fine" she plastered a fake smile on her face.  
"Then why are you about to cry?" he questioned raising his eyebrow. She went as if to look at the IV and Jacob grabbed her arm and spun around.  
"Jacob" she cried and Nick ran in trying to get between them but Jacob had already pulled the arm of her t-shirt up. The look on Jacob's face was one that made Zoe move very quickly towards Nick and he reached out to her and she took his arm and put her behind him. Jacob looked furious "What the hell Zoe!"  
"It's totally not what you think... I had a patient see "Jacob still looked horrified  
"What did I think Zoe?" he asked putting her on the spot she looked like a rabbit in headlights and Nick felt completely empathetic. He could tell her brain was whirling and at that moment Noel entered the cubicle "Dr Strong's here", and at those words it all fell apart...

Zoe started crying and Nick grabbed her hand for support Noel looked at them confused and left. Nick turned her around and they looked at each other having a conversation in their minds.  
_  
__This was it _they thought _  
_And Nick bent down and they kissed

_Game on_

**Please tell me what you think of this chapter it took me quite a while to write lol Minxheart xxx**


	23. In the Pouring Rain

**Sorry I haven't updated in ages I was working on my other story!**

Zoe

She pulled out of the kiss and he grabbed her hand she heard Nick give Jacob some lame excuse but she didn't care. Her heart was thumping as she reached reception her legs felt like jelly and for a second she contemplated doing what Matt wanted. But she diminished that thought when Nick squeezed her hand again. They reached reception in what seemed like no time at all "I love you Zoe Hanna" he murmured into her ear and it gave courage. She suddenly found herself able to stand without needing the support on the counter "Hello Zoe" and her confidence stopped and she drew herself against the counter. Nick still had her hand and tightened it on hers "Dr Strong" Nick said politely  
"I'm here for my wife" Matt said not looking at him "Come on Zoe" he looked down at her and Zoe felt worse than she already did as he noticed her hand. He reached out quickly and grabbed her arm and pulled her she tried to break his hold but he was too strong and she was pulled to his side. Nick stepped in their way as Matt tried to walk toward the doors "She's not going" Nick smiled calmly  
"She is unless she wants the whole of her precious co workers to see how much she screams when I shatter her ribs" Matt smiled menacingly back.  
"I think we should take this outside" Nick smiled and gestured to the doors Matt smiled and they went outside. She looked up at the clouds and they were threatening rain.

Zoe stood rigid against his side and in that second realised he was never going to change "I'm not going" she whispered. Matt dug his nails into her side and she winced Nick looked at her nervous for her safety. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that shall I baby" he slapped her on the back and to anyone else it looked playful but it hurt like hell. She nodded "I'm sorry" she muttered _she had given in she was as bad as Matt said she was _she looked into Nicks eyes and they were shinning with disappointment, "No" she said louder "No I am not going anywhere" and she hit him in the stomach and darted toward Nick and he grabbed her and pulled her behind him. "Right now this is what's going to happen you leave here and stay away from Zoe and we don't call the police" Zoe felt herself smile at the strength Nick emulated. "No what's going to happen is..."  
"Leave" Nick shouted there was a second where Zoe watched as both men stared into each other's eyes until Matt took a step back and quickly walked to the car and left. Zoe felt her legs shake and she was going to collapse but Nick caught her and lifted her up. She looked deep into his deep brown eyes and could look at them forever and he stared back into hers with the same feeling.

They hesitated and drew close to each other and he wrapped his arm round her waist and she hesitantly reached her hand up to his face. He leaned in further and their lips pressed together as he kissed her and it started to pour. Rain came down quickly and heavily as the two of them stood there in the empty car park making out. Rain lashed on both their faces and it was too difficult to put into words how they felt. "I love you Zoe Hanna I always have and I probably always will" Nick had said it to her so many times and yet she hadn't said it once  
"I love you too Nick Jordan" she smiled and they both started to laugh despite what had happened and he took her hand and lead her back into the ED to finish the shift but before they got under cover he had kissed her again lifting up. This time they made it into the ED their hair soaking wet and their clothes drenched.  
"Zoe what happened?" Tess asked concerned  
"Its raining outside" she laughed Tess looked quizzically at her.  
"Go and get dry Zoe" Nick said letting go of her hand he smiled. Zoe listened to him and walked towards the staff room  
"Zoe what happened to you?" and she turned…

**Come on who wasn't waiting for Zoe and Nick's first kiss of freedom! Plus who is this mystery man/women. **


	24. Blow to the head

She turned quickly _what the hell was he doing here both of them in the same place. "_Luke" she yelled and ran over to him and hugged him he tried to shake her off. "Zo your soaking wet" he reminded her  
"Dr Hanna what happened to you?" Linda asked concerned "Oh and the patient in cubicle 1 is complaining of stomach pains and has been sick" Linda said to her.  
"I'll be back in a second I...Wait what are you doing here?" Zoe was confused Jacob and Casey were in cubicle 1 but he wasn't sure he knew. "Jake called" she relaxed follow me then and she led him to cubicle 1. Jacob stared at her for a second as she stood soaking wet but  
"CASEY" Jacob yelled as Casey vomited again clutching her stomach in pain Jacob and Lucas both looked at her. "Right Casey can you tell me where you are in pain?" she asked  
"Is this the dehydration thing?" Jacob asked interupting her  
"I need for you not to interupt me" she said as she felt Casey' stomach _ok a distended abdomen_ and Casey gasped in pain as she touched the side of her stomach. Zoe cursed and then looked up apoligetically both of her brothers looked at her "Can I get some help in here" she yelled as Linda rushed in "Can you take her though to Pead rhesus for now and can someone page Mr Jordan."  
"What's going on?" they both asked her as they were traveling there. She ignored their questions "Tess can you fast bleep the surgons and the anethatist as soon as I explain and confirm what's going on I need her in theatre you got that" Tess nodded to show she had understood and went to the phone. She was about to explain when Nick came in "Can you please feel her stomach and tell me what you think?" she asked. "To start with Dr Hanna go and have a shower or just change into some new clothes in general" Zoe frowned as was going to argue back "Hang on" and Zoe looked at him she could tell they thought the same thing. "Have you called the surgons?" he asked  
"Yes just need to explain..." Zoe started to say  
"Can someone please tell me what's going on!" Zoe could tell he was starting to get angry and she flinched this sudden movment was picked up by Nick who walked over and took her hand. "We believe Casey has appendicitis she will require theatre" She could tell what Nick had said had really shocked them.  
"What's going to happen?" Jacob asked  
"The surgons are going to take out her appedix and then close her up it's quite routine and simple surgery" he reasurred them. Zoe shivered and Nick was quick to notice "Dr Hanna can you please get into some dry clothes the last thing I need is a member of staff of ill" he smiled though she could he was being serious. She walked to the changing room and stepped though the shower and undressed she could see what Matt had done to her and while those wounds would heal rather quickly she knew the emotional damage was more likley to last longer. She stepped in the shower and saw out the corner of her eye the shower head fall and it hit her on the head and she colapsed on the shower floor...


	25. In Another World

She walked though the ED every pargt of her ached Matt had really got to her last night. She walked into the staff room and everybody was already gathered around. "Dr Hanna thank you for joining us what is it about alway the most unpredictble of all my staff, I mean..." Zoe stared at Nick trying to be brave she hated seeing him being upset at her but it was something that had to be done. She didn't even listen to the rant he was giving she only knew it was over when everybody started to leave. Everybody left and she intended to aswell but Nick put his hand in her way "I think we need to have a chat don't you Dr Hanna" he said. "What?" Zoe said trying to make it seem like she was in a rush "I really have to start treating patients she painfully tried to duck under his arm but he grabbed her bruised shoulder and pulled her back. Of course he wasn't aware it was bruised if he did... There was a sudden sound of the rain stopping from outside the hospital as Nick started talking to her. "Zoe I can't let you keep getting away with this, you are a Dr for heavens sake pull yourself together!" she winced as the tone of disapointment registered to her. "I'm sorry" she murmured quietly. He walked out the staff room and left her there completly alone. A few minutes later she went out the staff room and was about to treat a patient when...

"Zoe can I have a word" she tensed Matt was behind her and he sounded angry worse than he usually was.  
"I really have to..." she trailed off she was helpless against him and Zoe had no choice but to let herself be dragged off to the staff room. He closed the door and the blinds and as soon as they were shut he threw her against a locker. He strocked her hair back and unbuttoned her shirt tearing it off her she felt tears come to her eye and he undid her bra to reveal the countless bruises, burns and scorch marks on her body. He touched one of these and smiled as she winced in pain. He undressed her completly and held her to the floor forcing her to do things she really didn't want to do.

He finished and smiled with malicious pleasure as he grabbed a knife and made several cuts on her arms laughing as he did so. There was something about this something about his lack of concern about where the bruises were and it occured to her... "HELP" she screamed "HELP" he stopped laughing realising what she knew. He took the knife out of her arm and raised it and stabbed her square in the stomach and she screeched loudly a high and peicing scream. "HELP" she screamed _why wasn't anybody coming people should be coming she needed to talk to Nick she needed to telll him she was wrong she was sorry._ She screamed one more time loudly and the world went black...


	26. Back in the present

"She should be fine Mr Jordan" she didn't recognise the voice at first and then remembered it as Dylan.  
"Thanks Dr Keogh" Nick thanked him and Dylan left.  
"Nick" she muttered as she opened her eyes  
"Zoe" he squeezed her hand and kissed her.  
"You are so beautiful and you had me so worried" he sounded concerned a sound Zoe could get used to.  
"What happened?" she asked  
"You slipped in the shower and became unconcious" he commented.  
"I'm ok though" she said  
"Yh you'll be fine" he laughed.  
"I love you Nick Jordan" she murmed  
"You know what I sort of love you too Zoe Hanna" and he bent over and kissed her Tess walked in and he jumped back.  
"Don't stop on my account" Tess laughed "Exept Mr Jordan I'm going to have to ask you to step outside".  
"Why?" Zoe asked confsued  
"We just got your tests back" Tess answered  
"He can stay" Zoe said firmly  
"Zoe" Tess tried to reason  
"I want him to stay Tess" she said sternly and firmly.  
"Ok then Zoe there is no easy way to say this but..."


	27. Old Times

"Ok then Zoe there is no easy way to say this but..." Tess started and Zoe's heart started hammering she was so nervous and waited.

As soon as Tess said those words... Nick felt his heart start to pound he and Zoe had been through so much together he couldn't lose her. Nothing could be wrong with her, nothing, he needed her he needed her strength and her sarcasm. All he could think about was a day they had shared before Matt

_He had just come out of his office and down to the ED "Hey Noel can you tell me where Dr Hanna is?" he asked  
"Oh she's not in yet Mr J" he answered. Nick cursed "Jay Noel I want to know straight away when she gets here got it?" he threatened he turned and Zoe stood in front of him. "Mr J Zoe's here" Jay said sarcastically he turned round and gave him a thank you for pointing out the obvious look and Jay laughed.  
"Dr Hanna can you explain to me why are late?" he asked fairly  
"Nick I...I got stuck in..." Zoe tried to say.  
"Stuck in the amount of times you have told me that same lie Dr Hanna" he answered sarcastically.  
"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit Mr Jordan" she answered cheekly and walked off towards cubicles while Noel and Jay started laughing.  
"Hang on we are not done here" he said loudly and Jay and Noel were still laughing.  
"I think we are" she said not even looking over her shoulder and heading into cubicles. Nick stood and watched her leave and smiled and gave a small laugh at her. She honestly was the most chaotic Dr he had ever met. He looked round and Noel and Jay stared at him "You like her" Adam said walking past and again Jay and Noel laughed. He couldn't even deny it she was so hot!_

She was still the same Dr still deadly beautiful and still totally chaotic even today he had never met such a disorganised and unproffesinsal Dr.

She couldn't help but wonder what Nick was thinking she wanted to be ok and needed to know what was wrong. Tess said something but Zoe didn't hear her she had suddenly gone deaf. She saw Nick's reaction as he turned to her eyes wide and deep.

Tess saw Zoe's blank reaction "Zoe did you hear me I said you're pregnant!"

**So be honest who knew or guessed what was wrong with Zoe! Please Review! **


	28. Baby Drama

She couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. She had been told too many times. "Did you just?" she queried  
"She said you were pregnant Zoe" Nick said holding her hand.  
"But..." she started  
"We don't know how far you are a long" Tess said. Zoe heard Tess' comment and started to freak. _If it was Matt's baby how could she love it, how could she look at that innocent baby knowing how it was concieved._ Her breathing became shallower and faster "Nick, Nick,Nick" she struggled at her throat "I can't, I can't, I can't breath" she gasped at her throat. The next thing she felt was a bag being given to her. "Zoe I need you to relax" Nick murmured but she couldn't. She breathed into the bag and let go "Nick help me" she yelled. She struggled again and tried to lash out Nick restrained her. "Zoe I need to relax for a second" he put his hand on her shoulder and all she could remember was when Matt was there. "GET OFF" she screemed and pushed Nick's arm off her. Nick went round to her and sat in front of her and sat on the bed. She felt extremly light headed and collapsed on the bed.


	29. It

"Zoe" he knew it was just a panic attack but he was still worried about how she was coping. He looked at her adoringly and kissed her on her forehead and put a blanket over her. She woke slowly blinking her eyes open "How you feeling babe?" he asked.  
"I'm ok I just can't believe, I can't believe I'm pregnant" she answered completly confused. She noticed Tess had left her alone for a while and she was highly greatful for that. She thought about the baby again and started to cry softly tears trickling down her face. "Hey Zo it's ok look I will be with you no matter what" he said reassuringly.  
"Nick we had a one time event there is virtually no chance it's your's" she whispered quietly, she didn't want a beating and then remembered she had no reason to be scared.  
"Zoe I don't care if that child is mine, we have to have this child. This baby is going to be brought up in a great home with parents bioligcally or not who love him or her unconditionally." He finished and Zoe smiled still crying and she leant foreward and kissed him passionatly. Tess walked in and they stopped kissing she didn't fancy a lecture from Tess after all they all thought she was still married. Tess pretended not to see them and brought in the ultra sound. She went to lift her Zoe's shirt but she stopped her  
"Wait can I..." she started. Tess hadn't listened to her and she pulled up her t shirt...

She looked down at Zoe's body and couldn't help but gasp, there were bruises covering virtually all of it. "It's ok Tess I have already checked them over" Nick reasured Tess.  
"Ok" Tess said not wanting to ask how she got these. She squirted the gel on and Zoe bit her lip in pain as Tess put the probe on her stomach and explored the area.

Zoe looked at the screen and realised with a jolt that she was nervous. Nick took hold of her hand and squeezed it reasuringly and Tess looked away trying not to see. Zoe looked closer at the screen and there it was, her baby...


	30. Home

"Ok Dr Hanna you seem to be about 1 or 2 weeks pregnant" Tess said and her heart leaped if she was only 2 weeks then...  
"Nick you could" she started but Nick put a finger on her lips  
"I know" he whispered back. Tess looked at both them smiling while she would never encourage Zoe's adultrous behavior but she had to admit they made an incredible couple.  
Tess left them for a second and Zoe turned to Nick  
"Thanks" she murmured.  
"What for beautiful?" he asked  
"For being you" she answered and Nick leant forward and kissed her. Nick got up and left the cubicle and collected his stuff from his office and went to Zoe's locker and got her stuff. He returned to the cubicle and put her stuff on the floor "I'm ready to go when you are baby" Nick said affectionatly.  
"I would go now but..." she started  
"I'll talk to Tess" Nick said and he left her in the cubicle to her own thoughts.

_She remembered why she loved Nick he cared so much about her. They had been together for so long and now they could have it all._

"Hey Tess say's you can go home" Nick said interupting her thoughts Zoe broke out in a smile of relief and Nick handed her the form and she was discharged.  
"I'm taking you home with me" Nick said and Zoe smiled bitting her lip again.


	31. Revealed

**Sorry I haven't been updating all my stories as regually I have had an English controlled assessment and had lots of exams to prepare for and do plus having a drama prodution so here it is the next installment for Not as it seems! Enjoy!**

She entered the appartment and a wave of memories washed over her the 2nd one more horrifing than the 1st, the 3rd more horrifying than the 2nd. Each more horridic than the last "Zoe are you ok?" he asked concerned as a tear was rolling down her cheek. "I better get my clothes and stuff" she murmurred not responding to his previous question. She walked toward her room and twisted the door knob and pushed it open. She walked in and started to cry remembering everything he had done to her. Nick ran to her and put his arms round her "What's wrong babe?" he started and stopped as he looked round the room. "What is this room Zoe?" he asked sure he already knew the answer.  
"This was my bedroom Nick" she answered and whatever he had been thinking it wasn't this. He looked around the room and even where we he stood he could tell the bed was cheap, a bucket in the corner annd a suitcase which had her clothes in.  
"Where did Matt..." he started and Zoe took hold of his hand _If they were being honest with each other then she had to show him this._She opened the door slowly revealing the brightly lit room with a double bed. "Zoe why is this room so..." he stopped and suddenly realised what had gone on and why Zoe shivered when she entered the room. He looked at the girl of his dreams her eyes disturbed and tears running down her cheek. He saw that look on her that told him she felt guilty and he couldn't help think what did she have to feel guilty for. He put his arm on his shoulder and he felt her flinch dramatically and tried to move away quickly  
"Zoe it's ok" he murmured. Zoe didn't move from were she stood  
"I know" she whispered still tense thinking that Nick would think it was all her fault like she asked for everything she got.  
"What are you thinking about baby" he asked she was so transparent sometimes.  
"I'm fine" she murmured  
"I can read you like a book babe" he said laughing slightly.  
"I...I thought you would think it was my fault" Zoe said quietly turning away her confidence low. Nick grabbed her quickly and twirled her into his arms  
"You deserved none of this" he said quietly and started to kiss her.  
"I love you so much" Nick murmured and Zoe smiled and kissed him back!


	32. After Everything

It was a couple of days since there journey back to the flat and they were back at Nick's and she was cuddled up to him. He was like her security blanket and she felt like she was a kid again with her mother and her father. They had decided to watch a movie Nick had tried to get Zoe to pick the movie but she had picked one she hated that Nick loved. Nick had tried to tell her that it was ok to chose what she wanted but she had insited that she liked the film. Ever since Nick had heard about the baby he had come highly over protective of her.  
"Zoe it's 9:00" he said putting a hand on her thigh  
"Nick please we are in the middle" she tried to persuade him.  
"Fine Zoe" he smiled and looked as though she was giving in however moved his arm that was resting on her thigh to pat her stomach.  
"Thats not fair Nick" she argued and was about to get up but Nick instead got up and carried her to their bedroom. He pulled the covers back and gently dropped her on the bed and pulling the covers bacl over her tucking her in. He kissed her on the forehead and turned the light off going back to the bed and resting his arm in hers to reasure her he was there.

Matt slit her stomach and clocked her round the head "How does it feel hey to be you to be this apparently perfect person? how does it feel? Because you are not perfect you are a slut and you deserve to die" he yelled. Matt grabbed her round the throat and held her up against a wall strangling her, she was struggling to breathe and air was becoming a luxury that she was running out of. She was just about to blackout and Matt let go of her and she choked on oxygen "You thought we were out of this seriously you bitch" he spat.  
"Zoe, Zoe, ZOE" someone yelled her name and Zoe tried to answer but she couldn't she was shoved on the floor by Matt and she cowered. Matt started undressing her and again she heard the person call her name again.

Nick was day dreaming or night dreaming as Zoe lay asleep next to him. Zoe turned slightly and started gag and lashed out hitting Nick in the face. She lashed out again tossing and turning in her sleep "Zoe, Zoe, ZOE" he yelled trying to wake her up. This really wasn't healthy for her and he tried to wake her up again and he froze  
"Please" she whispered.


	33. Dream

Despite where that man was in the world it wouldn't change anything. He heard her faint whisper and then again louder "Please" she whispered "Please" she wimpered and finally she screamed opening her eyes sweat dripping down her. "Zoe" Nick leant over to touch her shoulder and she jumped still highly confused from the dream which he was sure had something to do with Matt. "Zoe" he murmurred quietly again and she turned to him "I'm so sorry, I don't, I never..." she stuttered and Nick pulled her closer holding her to him and lying down next to her cowering form. "It's ok" he muttered her eyes still wide with fear and he coulfn't help but hug her and stroke her hair trying to fo anything he could to reasure her that everything was going to be alright. He heard her breathing start to shallow and calm as she relaxed into his strong arms which he knew made her feel safe and it was with relief he heard Zoe fall asleeo and he 2 then started to try to fall asleep.


	34. 6 Months

6 months had gone by and all her bruises had vanished "Come on Zoe we are going to be late" Nick hurried her as he stood waiting they were already 10 minutes late and she had to pee for about the 6th time that morning.  
"I'm so Sorry Nick it won't happen again" she apoligised and again despite 6 months passing he still saw the shadow and that glint of her insacutities.  
"It's ok babe" he smiled and grabbed her hand as she bounced down the stairs. "We are going to be late miss, now come on!" he laughed as he pulled her to the car and strapped her in. They got to the ED and they were 10 minutes late.

"Dr Keogh patient in cubicle 1 for you" Tess instructed him and Dylan barley looked up from the computer ""Dylan did you here what I said?" Tess asked  
"What?" he said now paying attention.  
"Patient cubicle 1" She instructed again annoyed  
"Can't Dr Hanna or Mr Jordan take it?" he asked going back to the computer.  
"They are not here yet" Tess said more annoyed and at that moment Zoe and Nick walked in. "Hello you two" Tess welcomed them and Nick instantly apoligised "Sorry we're late someone had to pee 6 times this morning" he finished jokily pushing her arm and then bringing her in kissing her. "Ok you 2 break it up the patients are already sick enough" Dylan laughed and they both turned to look at him and kissed him again. "I will be in my office" Nick smiled and let go of her hand and patted her stomach feeling the baby kick. He turned around and left her there and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face. "Oh Zoe patient for you in cubicle 1" Dylan said still not looking up and he handed her the card. She grabbed the card and headed toward the cubicle. "Ok so what seems to be the problem Mr..." and she stopped as she pulled the curtain back...


	35. Matt

She stood speechles frozen to the spot "Hello Zoe" and he did it again he walked toward her and all the confidence she had worked up over the last 6 months faded away.  
"Matt what are you doing here" she stuttered trying to keep some confidence in her tone.  
"I need to be treated" he answered sarcastically  
"Well I really think I should get someone else" she whispered and Matt smiled at her nerves.  
"No you will treat me" he insisted  
"I can't I should..." she trailed off as Matt started to go toward her and she caved  
"Ok" she whispered and walked toward him to treat his foot. She bent down in front of him to see his foot but he tugged it away from her.  
"Close the curtain" he instructed loudly and coldly  
"No I have to" she whispered and Matt smiled malicously at her and leaned close to her ear.  
"You will do everything I ask" he instructed in away that chilled her heart she knew if he did anything it would not only her life he was putting in danger. She slowly got up and looked around to see if anyone was there that she could ask to take over but there wasn't. She saw Tess in her office and tried to get her to come over but she wasn't looking "Tess" she yelled quickly and she was grabbed from behind and the curtain shut behind her...


	36. Pull Back the Curtain

"Look Henry I am busy later on Dr Hanna needs me to look at some case reports" he lied smiling at the prospect of seeing Zoe and he put the phone down and looked around his cluttered office. Zoe was meant to be meeting him in here tonight and he wanted to make sure it was tidy. He was about to start tiding when he looked at his phone to see he had a text. He looked confused for a second as the nummber from the text read 079576834981 an unknown number and he opened the message:

**Hey Mr J guess who I found wondering around your hospital**

Nick froze and started to hyperventilate as he quickly ran out his office and to the nurses station and saw Tess standing there giving a pep talk to her nurses "Tess, Tess" he said axiously and quickly nerves were never his style but when it concerned Zoe she was worth it. Tess turned around to look at him  
"Mr Jordan I am in the middle of..." she started but he interupted her  
"Do you know where Dr Hanna is?" he asked urgently.  
"I don't know I haven't seen her sorry" she answered but this didn't help him. Dylan walked to the nurses station and started to do research on the internet  
"Who are you talking about?" he asked not really caring.  
"Dr Hanna" Tess answered  
"Oh I saw her she is with that patient in cubicle 1" he said matterafactly not looking up from what he was doing.  
"Hang on Dr Keogh that was your patient" Tess informed him  
"Yh so I gave it to Zoe it was so easy I teenager could do it" he said tactlessly.  
"You were awere that Dr Strong was the patient in cubicle 1" Tess informed him and as soong as Nick heard those words he froze.  
"Dr Strong did you just say Dr Strong as in Matt Strong Zoe's ex" but the look Tess gave him was proof enough he quickly walked over to cubicle 1 and pulled back the curtain...


	37. Blood

**Warning now this is totally gross and not in the christmassy theme at all but anyway thank you Gemmaa13 for the idea you are truley amazing and a total legend for inspiration! **

** So if you have just eaten or if you want to avoid all the detail then there will be another bit of bold print when it is all over!**

The trolley bed was pushed against the wall and the medical supplies scattered thoughout the cubicle sticking to the floor with drying and fresh blood. Deep crimson blood spattered the walls and the curtain was heavily bathed in it as well. The blood was steming from the lifeless figure in the middle of the room whose eyes were not moving and whose mouth was gagged by tinsel. The newly formed bruising was apparent but not hugley obvious under all the blood coming the knife gashes what was more worrying was that the bleeding coming from her wounds was not all the bleeding. Blood was flowing from her cervix and her figure was starting to pale drastically by the second.

**It is all over  
**

Dylan couldn't really be bothered to look over into cubicle 1 but he heard Mr Jordans responce "Can I have some help over here" he shouted and Dylan looked over and gasped running into rhesus as Mr Jordan picked her up. Tess ran over as well as Linda, Sam and Jay followed by Scarlett  
"Jay get a line in, Scarlet call the lab and order 5 units of O neg and cross match for 12 units, Tess can you get an ultrasound and Sam clean the wounds " Mr Jordan instructed while attaching her to the monitor. "Mr Jordan you shouldn't be doing this, Dr Keogh can you take over" Tess instructed and Dylan was going to step in but Mr Jordan held out his arm and blocked him. "I have this Dr Keogh" he said "Ok we are dealing with a possible PV bleed this baby needs to be delivered now, Scarlet can you call obs and gyne and alert theatre" he yelled. "Zoe if you can hear me I need you to squeeze my hand" he said holding her hand, she didn't respond but he persisted "Ok Zoe you have a PV bleed and we need to get you to theatre" he told her and kissed her forehead.  
"Mr Jordan theatre will be ready in 30 minutes" Scarlett informed him and Mr Jordan cursed.  
"Ok she dosen't have that long we'll have to do it here" he said rolling up his sleeves and grabbed the surgery kit.  
"Mr Jordan you really shouldn't..." Tess started  
"I am the best we have in this department anyway Zoe is no relation of mine" he argued "Right Tess, Jay, Ruth and Scarlett stay, Sam and Dr Keogh can you chase up obs, gyne and theatre" Dylan left and Sam phoned them.  
"Theatre's still backed up Mr J" she informed him  
"Ok fast bleep the aneithasist and keep trying to get onto obs and gyne tell them it is getting quite seriously as the mother is in serious distress" he said. The blood arrived "Why do we only have 5 units? " he asked  
"Mr J she is AB neg and there currently is none in the blood bank" Jay explained as he hung up the blood.  
"WHAT" he shouted  
"RIGHT SAM RING ST JAMES AND ORDER THE BLOOD AND THEN GET ON TO HER NEXT OF KIN AND HER BROTHERS" he ordered. He didn't bother seeing whether Sam had listened to what he had said and the new anethatist entered and put her under. "Ok lets get this started" Nick said nervously crossing his fingers and grabbing the scapel!

**So I hope you recover from that less than christmassy chapter!**


	38. My Little Girl

**So this is slightly more Christmassy**

"Zoe darling" she heard the voice from some where far beyond and there was something so familiar about it she felt so safe. "Zoe" the voice called again and her eyes wanted to wake but they wouldn't.

"Come on Zoe please wake up we have the most beautiful little girl and she needs a name" Nick begged his eyes boaring into hers begging that they would open and he could see her beautiful brown eyes again. Their beautiful little girl lay next to her bed they had wanted to take her to the NICU but Nick was refusing until Zoe woke up he wanted her to see her daughter when she woke up despite being 3 months early. He turned to his little girl "You know what princess you should give your Mummy some lessons on being early" he smiled and tickled her chin. "Come on darling" he begged Zoe and the pain in his voice he hoped would get though to her.

Zoe wanted to wake up so badly she heard everything that Nick said and was desprate to see her little girl her daughter.

He put his hand though his daughters incubater and the the other hand in Zoe's hand. "Wake up Zoe" he whispered and kissed her forehead stroking the back of her hand with his hand. "Nick" cam a whisper from next to him and he turned  
"Zoe you scared me so much" he muttered and with drew his hand from his daughters incubater. "Sorry Nick" she whispered and he laughed at her apoligy  
"Zoe there's someone..." she started  
"My daughter" she whispered and Nick laughed. He moved the incubater over to her and Zoe looked though the glass at her.  
"Hello Beautiful" she whispered and Nick held her hand as she did so.  
"Hanna" Zoe and Nick said at once turning to look at each other.

**Hope you liked this new chapter it is slighly more Christmassy!**


	39. Warehouse

**Ok so yes I am updating on christmas shows how interesting my christmas is I hope everybody is having a fantastic Christmas and it is not to be ruined by this less than Christmassy chapter!**

Shadows were usually the darkness but in this place there was so much darkness that finding light was difficult. It was practically empty and the only things there were the nessecitys "Matt" the voice came deep from the shadows and Matt flinched but recognising the voice.  
"You came" he whispered but the whisper echoed loudly around the warehouse  
"Of course I did revenge is a long time coming" the man whispered and he stepped into the light so Matt could see his face more clearly. His gaunt features looked like he hadn't eaten in days and the look in his eyes was one that was a light with malice.  
"Come out into the light" the man instructed and Matt obeyed stepping into the light and holding his hand out to shake hands.  
"Hello Dr Anderson" Matt smiled and he shook hands with him  
"Please call me Sean" he smiled back.


	40. Talking

"Zoe Hanna will you take Nick Jordan to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the vicar asked and Zoe closed her eyes holding her hand out to Nick and he took it. She opened her eyes "Of course I do" she smiled and Nick laughed at her.  
"Do you...?" the vicar started  
"Of course I do" Nick interupted them and leant foreward and kissed her.  
"I love you Zoe Hanna and I want to make you my wife" he said infront of the vicar and all of their family and friends.  
"Then I pronounce you man and wife" the vicar said and they leant forward and were about to kiss...

"Zoe" she woke up blinking and realised that Nick had shook her awake  
"What, what" she whispered still groggy "Hanna" she said quickly now suddenly awake.  
"Hanna is fine baby, it is you I am concerned about you were muttering in your sleep" he said to her completly confused.  
"Oh" she muttered completly embarressed and her cheeks burned crimson, Nick smiled at the look of complete embarressment of her face.  
"So what was your dream about babe?" he asked trying to embaress her some more.  
"Us" she whispered  
"Go on Zo" he prompted and she blushed some more.  
"Us getting married" she muttered  
"Married us" he said as he raised his eye brow and she looked down  
"I'm sorry, it was just a dream" she said quickly trying to defend herself covering herself up.  
"Zoe you never have to appolige for a dream, but look the police need to talk to you about what happened today?" he asked cautiously.  
"Why do the police care that I had a baby?" she whispered  
"Zoe you know that is not what I mean, they want to talk to you about Matt" he said cautiously and put his hand on hers.  
"What about Matt?" she asked feighning innocence  
"Zoe you know what I mean" he said giving her the look.  
"No I don't" she whispered in responce  
"Zoe Hanna you didn't fool me the first time you tried to lie to me and you don't fool me this time" he responded sternly.  
"Fine" she whispered looking down and fidderling with the bed covers  
"Thank you Zoe" he said moving his hand and putting it under her chin raising it up and the other beckoning for the police to come in.  
"Zoe Hanna my name is DCI Rigburn and this is DCI Colson" the female inspector intraduced herself and her male collegue. "We need to talk to you about your attact" the female DCI Rigburn informed her.  
"Mr Jordan can I ask you to step outside please" DCI Rigborn ordered and Nick tried to protest "I'm not going..." he started but Zoe interupted him.  
"Out" she whispered and Nick looked at her totally suprised but pleased.  
""Are you sure darling?" he asked and she nodded "I am going to be right outside of the door if you need me" he resassured. He got up and kissed her on the forehead and walked toward the door slowly hoping she would change her mind. "Nick" she said and he turned hopefully wanting to support her "Can you get me some chocolatewhile you are out there" she said cheekly and Nick was pleased that her voice was stronger and more like her own. He left the room and it swung shut and the last thing he heard was her moan to the DCI's "So am I getting chocolate or not" she laughed her laugh shaky.


	41. Cottage By The Sea!

It was all over now and it had wiped her out completly, she knew it had killed Nick to stand outside and not be there to suport her but this was something she had to do alone if the two of them and Hanna were to start their new life together. She looked over at Hanna now in her incubater and she smiled she couldn't help but smile at her the Porters were coming to collectr her and take her to the NICU soon and Zoe wanted to spend as much time as she could with her little girl. The police were just leaving now muttering to eachother in hushed tones and as soon as they left her Nick entered.  
"Could you have been any quicker?" she joked but at the look Nick gave her made her she stopped laughing.  
"What is it?" she asked scared at his answer  
"How did it go?" he asked in return not answering her question.  
"Nick what is it what's wrong?" she persisted  
"Nothing, nothings wrong" he said trying not to worry her.  
"Nick I know when you're lying to me" she told him plainly.  
"Answer my question and I consider telling you" he bargined.  
"Fine, it went well great infact, I loved telling the police everything that happened to me and then watching the looks on their faces as they thought I was lying! " she snapped and Nick came at her so suddenly she flinched and moved her hands up to defend herself Nick lowered her hands revealing her scared face. Nick couldn't help but feel guilty and kissed her very gently on the lips and moved his lips to her ear "Now for my end of the bargain" he whispered and quickly pulled her up and out of bed. She made a gasp of total suprise and allowed herself to be picked up Nick dropped her off the bed "We are going for a walk" he said and he handed her a black t shirt a cream jumper that Nick had obviusly bought himself for her and a pair of track suit bottoms so they wouldn't hurt her scar. She slipped them on an took her robe off "Nick have you checked with the dr's?" she asked "Dr's well I am a doctor and I say it's ok so..." he trailed off at the look Zoe gave him.  
"Nick you have to..." she started but was interupted  
"Of course I checked with them and they said an hour or 2 is fine" he murmurred.  
"But what about..." she started again but Nick interupted her  
"Linda and Jacob are going to watch her" he laughed.  
"Are they..." she raised her eye brow  
"Yep" he smiled and she finished getting changed. He led her outside her room and then to the lift pressing the button for down.

The hotel that they had passed was unfamiliar to Zoe and she didn't know where Nick was taking her she was about to when they stopped. He got out of the car and helped her out "Nick where are we?" she asked and he turned her around. The thatched roof was a delicate brown and the building itself was tudor with high tall hedges sorounding it. There was a swing and a slide in the back garden and a cute little pond that Zoe could see from where she stood housed lots of wildlife. "Nick what are we doing here?" she asked intriegued "Follow me" he said not answering her question and she let herself be dragged in the house. There was a little hall decorated in vintage colours and off it was 4 doors which she would later learn led to the kitchen, bathroom, playroom and dinning room. She was dragged up the old stairs and onto the upper landing where there was 4 doors in which she was led in the first. It was a beautifully decorated room painted in pale pink with dark wooden floors and in the corner was a crib with a Beatrix Poter mobile. There was a tiny wardrobe and changing table with another little door leading to an ensuite.  
"Nick I don't know what we're doing here?" she asked confused and she turned round to him and he was on one knee!  
"Zoe Hanna..." he started but she interupted him  
"Nick" she gasped as he took out a box which she knew contained a ring.  
"Zoe Hanna" he started again and opened the box "Will you marry me?" he asked and she recoiled.


	42. Trouble approaches

"Nick I'm still married" she started  
"That dosen't mean" he started as well but she cut him off  
"Yes" she whispered and he got up and slotted the ring on her finger. He picked her up round her waist and swung her  
"Nick what are we doing here" she asked after the initial exitment had worn off.  
"I want us to live here, you know that little cottage by the sea with me you Hanna and possibley some other little me's and you's" he muttered romanticly.  
"Nick we live in Holby, we have jobs in Holby" she tried to reason.  
"So we find new jobs, Zoe when i had my brain tumor it made me appriacate everyday and I want to spend my everyday with you and Hanna in a place that we love" Nick told her. "I love that plan" Zoe gave in and he kissed her again and showed her around the remaining rooms. The master bedroom was where they spent the longest they planned all the changes they could do to this room to make it more well them. "Nick I think we have to get back to the hospital" she smiled wanting to stay here forever  
"Fine" he muttered and took her hand and led her to the car. "Nick thanks for..." she started as a familiar women stumbled into view her brown hair all over the place her clothes ripped. Blood seemed to gush out of the gashes on her wrists and she held a baby in her arms. "Jess" Zoe shouted!

**Thank you Gillian Kearney Fan for the idea to include Jessica into this!**


	43. Jessica

"Jess" she shouted and ran over to her Nick turned around and ran to her. They grabbed her legs and helped her into the back seat of the car and Zoe strapped herself in into the back "Jessica can you hear me?" she asked. There was no responce  
"Nick we need to get her to the ED now" she yelled the urgency plain in her voice as there was no way Jessica and the baby would make it otherwise. Nick put his foot on the gas pedal and key in the ignition and drove out the driveway and onto the road. There was little traffic which was good and they arrived at Holby city ED in 10 minutes. They quickly got her out of the car and Nick caried her in the doors. "CAN I HAVE SOME HELP OVER HERE" Nick yelled and Sam, Tess and charlie came over.  
"Right this is Jessica Harrison found concicious however lost conciousness quickly with multiple gashes query attack and this is her child" Nick informed them.  
"Jessica" Charlie and tess said exchanging a look with eachother and they entered rhesus with her.  
"Right can someone get blood gases and Lloyd can you take the baby and get them checked over" Sam informed them.  
"Zoe you need to get up to gyne" Nick told her and pushed her toward the door  
"Nick" she tried to protest but Nick just stared at her.  
"Fine" she muttered and left rhesus and thumbed the button for the lift and felt a pain in her stomach where one of the gashes was. Zoe froze at the pain and the lift came but she let it go and she ran into rhesus...


	44. Lift

"NICK" she shouted as she entered and he turned to face her  
"What Zoe?" he queried.  
"The attack, my attack, her attack...Matt" she concluded and Nick acknolaged her suggestion and wanted to go over to comfort his fiancee but he couldn't he had to treat. "Right can someone get Linda and get her in here and can someone take Zoe up to gyne please and whatever you do don't leave her side until you get her in gyne" he instructed looking round for a volunteer.  
"I'll do it" Lloyd volunteered and Nich nodded in approvak and Lloyd led Zoe out of rhesus.  
"Linda" he called to his collegue who was busy coming out of a cubicle and she turned "Mr Jordan needs you in rhesus" he informed her and Linda walked toward him toward rhesus. "Linda she will probably be fine" Zoe reasurred and Linda looked completly confused at her for a second but entered rhesus and Lloyd called for a lift. While they were waiting Lloyd grabbed his phone from his pocket and started texting Zoe smiled at the young nurses rebellius attitude and heard the ding telling her the lift was here. The doors opened and her and Lloyd stepped in Lloyd was careful to stand in front of the buttons to show the different floors but Zoe was completley oblivious to this as she started thinking about the attack on Jessica and the attack on her. She was so engrossed in nerves and thinking about Matt that she didn't realise she was going down. Her hands started to shake as she thought about Matt as he was obviously behind it and the lift doors opened again and Zoe was about to step out when she realised that this wasn't her floor. "Lloyd did you..." she started as Sean walked into lift and all the pieces of the puzzle suddenly fit together.


	45. Sean, Matt and Lloyd

She had to think of something quickly "Hey Sean what you been up to la..." she screamed as Sean grabbed her wrists and threw her against the wall. Sean slapped her round the face and she thought that now would be a great time for Lloyd to help her. "Lloyd" she shouted but Zoe looked round to see he had gone and she realised she had been set up. Zoe tried to hit out but Sean tied her wrists together. Sean kicked her in the stomach and she slid down to the floor where Sean gagged her mouth where still Zoe tried to hit out. Sean grabbed her waist and pulled her out of the lift and hit her round the head knocking her unconcious.

She regiened conciousness and she tried to move but her legs were firmly tied to a chair "Help" she tried to say but realised she was gagged. Her eyes opened and the first thing she saw was Matt. Her eyes were drawn to him like a moth to a flame and their eyes met as he realised she was awake. Zoe looked away from his stare and into the sorounding place. The walls were a weird optermistic yellow colour and the floor a clashing light green wood and there was nusery funiture which clashed again and a bed sutible for an adult.  
"Hey baby" Matt said flirtatiously and Zoe shivered as he came closer to her and touched her thigh up. Matt took off the gag on her mouth and put his hands on her waist and touched her in places he shouldn't. "Where are we?" she whispered quietly to distract him from touching her  
"Our new place look there is our daughters nursery and your bed" matt pointed it out to her and she shivered realising that Nick didn't know where she was.  
"SHE IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER" Zoe shouted and Matt slapped her round the face  
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" he asked again.  
"I SAID SHE IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER SHE IS NICK'S" she shouted trying to gain confidence. Matt laughed malicously and ripped her t shirt off and dragged a knife across her stomach she screeched in agony but knew she couldn't do anything about it.

"Right she is stable can someone call Adam please" Nick instructed and left rhesus where he saw Lloyd lingering by the nurses station. "Lloyd what are you doing down here did Zoe get up to gyne ok?" he asked concerned but Lloyd didn't respond and instead walked off and Nick looked puzzled her a second and walked to the lift and called it. The lift arrived and he stepped in and pressed for Zoe's floor. He waited for the lift to arrive at her floor and it opened and he stepped out and went to see Hanna  
"Hey Linda, Hey Jacob" Nick said from behind them.  
"Hey Nick where's Zoe?" Jacob asked  
"She came up earlier did she not..." he trailed off and they walked quickly to Zoe's room. He rounded the corner and into her room to see it was empty  
"Zoe" he called and a nurse came in  
"If you are looking for Zoe she's not here she went out and hasn't returned yet" she nurse explained calmly. Nick looked at her puzzled and dug out his phone and phoned Zoe. There was no responce and he quickly took the lift down to the ED again "LLOYD" he shouted when he got down there and Lloyd jumped.  
"WHERE IS ZOE?" he shouted at him and Tess and Charlie looked confused and tried to calm him down.  
"Nick please quiet down" Charlie reasoned and Lloyd tried to take a step back  
"ZOE IS NOT IN GYNE WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?" he shouted.  
"She...some...a man paid me to get her alone" Lloyd explained cowering behind Charlie.  
"WHAT CALL THE POLICE" he instructed again and his phone dinged and he took his phone. There was an unread message from Zoe which he opened and froze in horror of what he saw...

**This is where I leave you for a bit as I will not be writting until the 4th of jan! **


	46. Strength

**Ok I said I wouldn't be updating till the 4th but where I am staying I have internet!**

"I want payment" Lloyd said loudly from behind him  
"You will get it when your job is done" Matt said cooly not sparing much of his time to the junior nurse.  
"I have done my..." Lloyd started but Matt interupted him  
"YOU ARE DONE WHEN I SAY YOU ARE DONE" and now he turned and pointed his finger at him as he walked toward him in a threating demiener. Lloyd didn't cower as most people that Matt threatened did and he thought silently to himself that this man could be someone useful later on.  
"I gave her to you what more do you want?" Lloyd asked still calm and again Matt found himself impressed by his nerve.  
"Oh no I am no where near done Nick Jordan is a man that deserves to be punished he coerest my wife into bed on more than one occoasion! He had sex with my wife and got her pregnant and I plan to make him suffer, Lloyd I need you to steal that baby" he laughed and Lloyd didn't.  
"I don't..." he trailed off  
"That baby you will bring her to me" he laughed in a manor that Lloyd thought made him sound mad.  
"No that place will be teeming with police they know you took her, I told him what you told me to say" Lloyd tried to argue but Matt turned to stare at him.  
"You work for me and if you want to get revenge on that girl Scarlett you will follow me as I keep my promises just ask Sean" Matt guestured to the man by the wall.  
"How can I get past the police?" Lloyd asked at long last after considering his options and Matt smiled to himself  
"That is for you to figure out" he laughed and walked off back to his beloved wife.


	47. NICU

**Ok so I have been told this is confusing as to how it follows on. Basically these go on from each other as a tv appeal is being held for Zoe as she has gone missing. Nick is refusing to go as he needs to look after Hanna he has basically gone into shock and so is refusing but Zoe's mum comes in and tries to persuade him otherwise. The Italics are showing a flashback to when Zoe is in the ED because Matt has kicked her and beaten her unconcious. **

**OK MASSIVE APOLOGY TO PEOPLE AS I JUST READ WHAT I UPDATED YESTERDAY AND IT WASN'T THE CORREct ONE AS IT WAS UNFINISHED!**

"Mr Jordan the police need to talk to you" Linda said from behind him  
"I can't leave her Linda" he said smiling at the little girl still in the incubater.  
"Mr Jordan your daughter will be find look you have to make an appeal and Zoe's mum wants to talk to you" Linda told him approaching the incubater.  
"It can wait I need to look after Hanna" he said he had been unable to leave his daughter since Zoe had been kidnapped not even for the police questioning when they had talked to him in the room with Hanna.  
"Nick Jordan" Nick span around as Zoe's mum enterned the NICU  
"Ms Hanna" he nodded an indraductory greeting.  
"Look Nick I need to talk to you about Zoe's appeal" Ms Hanna said sternly to him but he didn't listen to her as much as he loved Zoe and he wanted her back he couldn't face it.  
"You can do it" he said quickly and Ms Hanna turned him round to face her  
"My daughter loved loves you" she corrected "And you owe it to her to take part in that appeal" she reasoned and something about what she said came though to him.  
"She means everything to me and I can't lose her" he whispered on the edge of tears  
"Nick you and I are not great friends are we but we both care about her" Ms Hanna reasond and he nodded.

_"My daughter" a women accompinied by 2 men followed her "  
"How can I help you miss?" the receptionist asked polietly to the women who was quite obviously beyond polietness.  
"Hanna I need to see my little girl" she said hysterically and as she mentioned her name the receptionist exchanged a look with a nurse.  
"Ah Miss Hanna your daughter is in rheus" and one of the nurses came over to see Jacob and touched his arm "Linda could you" the receptionist motioned to the nurse touching Jacobs arm. The nurse walked toward a door and all three of them went though it "ZOE" she screamed as her daughter lay on the bed motionless and oozing blood. "Mr Jordan this is Zoe's mother" Linda intraduced as she tried to go over  
"My daughter" she screamed again and tried to go foreward to see her daughter.  
"Ms Hanna Mr Jordan is in the middle of a pretty complicated precidure" a man with sandy blond hair told her putting his hands out.  
"Dr Keogh has the blood arrived yet?" there was something so familiar about his voice and then it clicked  
"GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER" she shouted making her sons jump.  
"Look Mum" they tried to protest  
"NO THAT MAN MADE HER LIFE HELL" she shouted loudly but Jacob interupted her "Mum he is her boyfriend". Her mum turned round  
"Mr Jordan St James have no AB neg blood" a young female dr said entering rhesus. "WHAT" Nick was highly annoyed and it was starting to show "Ok for now we are going to have to pump in O neg can someone get onto St Thomas' he instructed and turned back to Zoe.  
"What does he mean by no blood?" she asked to a nurse  
"It means we don't have any of your daughters blood group in stock or at any of the neighbouring hospitals" Nick explained while as for the first time Ms Hanna realised what was going on. "What are you doing?" she asked and then looked more closley at her daughter and saw her massive stomach. "Is she..."  
"Yes we are going have to do it down here without the blood" he said while obviously concerned with making an incision in her stomach and cutting it open. He held the skin opened and pulled out the baby snipping the umbilical chord as the NICU came. "Ah nice to see you see we were worried you would miss doing all the hard work" he said annoyed and he placed the baby in the incubater and they wheeled her off. "Ok Sam suture it up and keep onto the labs about ab neg actaully wait Dylan try and get donations from mum and brothers" he instructed  
"We are not donating you have blood" Ms Hanna said quickly and people turned to look at her  
"Look Ms Hanna we do not have your daughters blood group and we are trying to treat her with the next best thing but it is not enough" Mr Jordan tried to reason but she shook her head firmly. "We don't give..." she started  
"Yes we do or at least I will" Jacob said stepping in front of his mother and going over to Mr Jordan and he nodded thank you and showed him over to Linda. Lucus still looked hesistant "She is our sister" Jacob tried to persuade him and it did the trick as he stepped foreward as well.  
"What the hell are you 2 doing?" she questioned "Remember what she..."  
"This is not about him mum" Jacob protest as Linda took a sample of blood and put it straight into Zoe.  
"Yes it is, your dad died because of her doing the same thing you are doing now and he is gone!" she screamed hysterically.  
"Ms Hanna you need to calm down" Nick said as they kept pumping in the O neg.  
"Ah Mr Jordan gyne have arrived" Sam said and the people in pink scrubs came to collect her and took her upstairs not before Nick had kissed her forehead. Just as rhesus doors closed "How dare you speak like that in rhesus where your daughter YOUR daughter is lying there" he shouted at her making the staff jump.  
"You have no clue Nick my daughter killed my husband she got herself in a car accident with some guy she had just met and my husband gave blood and as a result he died because of a dodgey needle" she shouted and Nick looked stunned for a second.  
"Your daughter is the most beautiful, sexy kindess person I know" Nick defended her and Ms Hanna tried to get her sons to defend her but they wouldn't. All she could do therefor was turn on her heel annoyed and walk out of rhesus. _

"Nick you don't like me I don't like you we both know that security is set to look after her, Hanna" Ms Hanna said and Nick was taken by so much suprise that she had said her grand daughters name it broke him out of everything.  
"You said her name" he smiled and squeezed his daughters hand and left her and got to the door of the NICU "Ms Hanna are you coming?" he said as she followed him out. Linda, jacob and Lucus were waiting for them and they touched the button for the lift and entered just as a figure in black jeans and a blue hoodie entered the department and slipped into the NICU where Hanna lay sleeping.

**Again massive apology for that last bit not being up I am really annoyed cause I was sure I saved it, this suddenly explains why some people didn't understand what was going on! **


	48. Appeal

Journalists gathered on chairs with camaras and snacks and it was everything he could do not to throw up. "Right you know the drill go out there make a heart felt appeal and make everybody feel so guilty that they want to help you find her" DCI Rigburn explained to Jacob, Lucus, Nick, Melody (Zoe's mum) and Casey. Jacob had origanlly objected to his daughter being used but after DCI Rigburn had told them that it was there best chance he had to conceed he was told that a child making a plea made everything so much more real and as Hanna was too young to make a plea they had recruited Casey. "Ok it's time" DCI Rigburn told them and led the outside.

"Hello beautiful" the door opened and Matt entered he walked toward her smiling as he looked on her.  
"Don't you dare say that" she spat venemously  
"I don't think you are in a place to argue with me" he laughed maliciously and he approached her and coersed her to the side of the room. She had shackels on her left wrist which conected her to the bed with just a long enough chain to get her round the area of the room. Her body was practically fully exposed the only thing she was wearing was her underwear which were now dirty and coated in blood from where Matt had attacked her. There was no doubt about it Matt had complete control over her and there was nothing she could do about it. "Stay where you are" he ordered her and he walked over to the chain on her bed and shortened it tieing more of it round the bed post.  
"I have something for you to watch" he smiled and pulled on the chain pulling her toward him she tried to resist but she was just pulled closer and was thrown into a chair and the TV turned on.

"Zoe Hanna went missing from the Holby City ED where she workes on December 30th 2012. Miss Hanna who is currently married to be divorced has a boyfriend and a daughter and a family waiting despratly for her safe return. If anyone has any information about the where abouts of Miss Hanna or the suspected kidnapper and husband Dr Matt Strong please let us know by this number 818969. Dr Matt Strong used to be a Dr at the same hospital however resigned a couple of months ago due to their split" A voice over said as pictures of her flashed across the screen. The screen then changed to a press confrence and Zoe's heart dropped as she saw everybody bar Hanna that she ever cared about. As soon as Zoe saw Nick her heart stopped for a second and she remembered how sexy he was. "Zoe Hanna is the love of my life..." Nick started to say and Zoe felt a tear roll down her cheek as he did so "She is sexy, smart, a definate party animal and all around amazing person. Zoe is extremly fustrating she used to test my patients so much but at the same time I owe her so much she saved my life both literally and emotionally. So I guess what I want to say to people is if you are with the love of your life now then tell them, tell them how much you love them because I learnt that they are not always around for long. My Zoe was taken from me and I need her back so please help me in getting her back!" By the end of the speech Nick had broken down in complete tears and Zoe too every part of her was wishing that she could be with him. "Nick" she whispered sobbing despratley and trying to get at the screen "Nick" she said again while every part of her was in pain. The torture wasn't done yet as the camara re-focused on Casey  
"My aunty is great, she is a Dr, and she works with lots of other Dr's and nurses she is really cool she lets me eat chocolate for breakfast!" Casey said suprisingly up beat the oppersite to how Zoe felt. She tilted her head as she remembered that day and wanted more than anything to be back on that day. Pleas from Jacob, Lucus and her mum followed each sending her to more tears she hated that she was causing the people pain especially when she cared so deeply about them. It was followed by journalists comments and questions most were asking who they thought did it and why but there was one that made her heart stop still. "Mr Jordan we have a recent update can I ask you who do you think stole your daughter?"

**PLUS WHO IS LOVING CASUALTY? **


	49. Gruesom

**I have gone slightly over the top with the details so to warn people it could be upsetting!**

His heart dropped what had she just said? There was no way he could have heard right "What did you just ask?" he queried his voice hoarse.  
"I'm sorry where you not aware that your daughter was taken from the NICU at 3:25 today" the journalist said and Nick was sure this time he hadn't heard it wrong. He looked over at DCI Rigburn just for the final clarification and she nodded in horror as well telling him that it was another complete shock.

Her heart stopped and she turned to look at Matt horrified "What have you done?" she whispered and she screemed in pain as she knew the most precious girl in the world was missing. "MATT" she screemed finally getting his attention and he just smiled malicously "MATT" she screemed again realising that this was hurting her more than anything he used to do to her. All that had been keeping her going here was knowing that her and daughter was safe and now...  
"Please" she whispered  
"Now thats what I want to here, now ask me the question I know you want to ask me" he ordered.  
"Please Matt my baby" she whispered trying to plead with any of his compassion but he just laughed.  
"Matt please I'm sorry I will do anything " she cried begging him a tears running down her cheeks.  
"It's too late Zoe you could of have had us and our daughter but you blew it" he coaxed stroking her hair and turning the TV off.  
"Get away from me" she spat  
"So you don't want your baby" he whispered menacingly back.  
"No Matt I didn't mean it my Baby please" she whispered  
"Now who is a good girl" he smiled like he was talking to a dog and he moved his hand over her body and she was fully aware what she would have to do in order to see her baby again and to keep her safe. She let it happen hating every minute of it and pretending she was with Nick that he loved her unconditionally and they were in their new house. But she couldn't his breathing was all wrong and he was holding her all wrong and all she could think about was how much she hated this man so the only thing she was thinking about now was her daughters face.

"My baby" she said after he had finished with her  
"Honestly where is your patience?" he laughed putting his clothes back on "Plus I got you a present today" he got Sean to come in. Sean entered the room and Zoe went to take refuge behind a pillow "Don't you dare move" Matt warned her and she stood rigid as Sean handed Matt a bag. She knew Sean was looking at her naked body wanting more than anything to push her onto the bed and make the bruises bigger.  
"Can I..." Sean said as he started toward Zoe and she wanted to flinch back but knew she risked losing her baby if she did  
"DON'T YOU DARE" Matt shouted and grabbed him by the throat and shoved him against the wall stopping the flow of oxygen to his brain.  
"MATT STOP YOU ARE GOING TO KILL HIM" she interupted and Matt let him go and he slipped to the floor and Matt came toward her.  
"You just told me what to do" he whispered menacingly  
"Please Matt you are so much better than this" she stuttered trying to protest but he shoved her against a wall and threw her on the bed and left her there. He took the bag from the floor where it had fallen and handed it to her "Here this is for you" he said and she took the contence out. In there was a very lacey bra and matching pants as well as that there was a very tight black dress "Matt what's this for?" she asked holding up the dress  
"Glad you asked this is for our medical dinner" he informed her.  
"What do you mean?" she questioned hugging her knees to her chest so he would see of her as little as possible.  
"We were invited to a medical dinner and at that dinner you will anounce to everyone that you have chosen me and you will be my wife again" Matt ordered her.  
"Nick" she whispered  
"Ah him well unless you stay with me you will never see your daughter again" Matt threatened her stroking her hair. "Now put some clothes on and I will bring her to you" Matt said kindly and Zoe nodded her head eagerly and quickly grabbed her bra and pants and put them on as Matt left her and Sean together. Sean had just regiened conciousness "Are you ok?" she whispered concerned  
"Fine I don't need concern from the likes of you" he snapped and she took a step back cowering slightly.  
"I'm sorry I just" she trailed off  
"Well don't just anything you are useless and I don't need your concern" he said getting up and putting his hand on his head to examine the damage. He approached her slowly not wanting a repeat of last time "We can make a deal you and I you give me what I want and I get you free from this you and your daughter" he proposed.  
"What did you just say?" she asked cautiously  
"Don't make me repeat it beautiful" he smiled walking toward her playing with her hair.  
"NO GET OFF ME" she shouted and he pushed against a wall knocking her unconcious.


	50. Horrible things

**OMG CAN'T BELIEVE IT I AM ON 50 CHAPTERS WHICH I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD GET TO! :DDDDDDDDD PLUS AGAIN THIS IS QUITE GRAPHIC **

"Zoe, Zoe" Matt yelled shaking her awake and she fluttered her eyes opened slowly and pulled her up to standing  
"Matt" she whispered and he ignored her small voice and clicked his fingers. On the click of his fingers several things happened the first a man with a black hoodie entered the room and the second being that Zoe pulled herself back against the wall. It was a second or 2 before she realised what was so important about the man with his arms folded carrying the baby.

"Ah your here" Matt smiled looking at the man infront of him with the baby and he walked toward him stroking his daughters hair. "Hello beautiful" he whispered and he saw her look at his light sky blue eyes. "I want payment" Lloyd demanded saying it stronger than he felt  
"Oh hang on a minute you are ordering me around um NO not going to happen" Matt argued.  
"We had a deal" Lloyd argued back and Matt smiled at him  
"Fine I will give you half now half when you finish a job for me" he proposed and Lloyd didn't have the heart to argue back as he had already had enough of his games. "Right when I click my fingers you will walk the though the door and show her the baby ok" Matt ordered when they heard a women scream and he dashed out the room Lloyd followed him out the room. He walked out the room and to the corridor following Matt shuddering as the house itself was sunny and cheery but knew it contained some horrible secrets. Someone was thrown out of the room on all 4's and into the next room closing and locking him in. It was a couple of minutes and Matt clicked and he closed his eyes and walked in the room. All the preperation he had done in his mind for what the room would be like went out the window as the only thing he could concerntrate on was was the women. The women who's life he had condemed and he couldn't help it his stomach churned he could tell by the way she moved and the the bruising that was starting to appear it didn't take a genius to know what she had been subjected to. What makes it worse was the fact that her new bruises were difficult to identify from the countless hundreds of others that were already there. She was also terryfingly thin with countless infected cuts and lacserations. The only thing Lloyd felt was plain awful and guilty then he looked up to her face and into her deep chocolate brown eyes which used to be filled with firey determination but now were shaded and glazed over with hurt and pain. He couldn't look at her again and dropped his gaze "Zoe here is your baby" Matt said telling him to go foreward and hand the baby over. He did so still not looking into her face but he felt as he handed her over a gentle touch on the arm "I don't blame you" she whispered.  
"What did you just say" Matt questioned her  
"Nothing" she said quickly but Matt didn't believe her  
"Take the baby" Matt ordered and Lloyd went to take her back but she stepped back clinging tighter to her. "Give her over" he ordered but she stepped back again cooly  
"I said give her over" and Lloyd stepped closer and took her from her arms still not looking at her. Matt stepped foreward and Lloyd stepped back away from her protecting the baby "Now we need to clarrify something, when I give you an instruction you  follow it GOT THAT "  he stepped closer again his cool tone edged with malice. He raised his hand and slapped her round the face and pushed her against the wall roughly causing what Lloyd knew was going to be more bruises. Zoe tried to struggle but it was not going to happen he just pumlled her against the wall again and threw her onto a chair kicking her stomach as he did so. "Lloyd bring her hear" he demanded and Lloyd stayed where he was he didn't want any harm to come to this baby "I said bring her" he demanded again and he gently walked over to Matt. Matt seized the baby and right in front of Zoe slapped the Hanna round the face.

"NOOOOOOOOOO" she screemed "GET OFF MY DAUGHTER" she screemed again trying to get Matts arm "PLEASE" she screemed she felt her daughters pain and was trying despratley her insides were in pain and on fire. She looked up at Lloyd and saw the complete shock registered in his face as well "Please" she whispered now at Lloyd with her pleading eyes. But Matt wasn't finished and he drew out a knife and pressed the blade on her skin letting the blood gush out "NOOOOOOO" she screemed again letting tears fall think and fast. Now it seemed like he was done and he put the baby in the cot next to him and turned back to Zoe getting up close to her face "Now if you do anything like that again you know the consequences" he laughed. She leant back in her chair her eyes giving away the fear that she obviously felt. Matt turned away from her and grabbed the chain and swung her up from the chair and onto the bed and walked quickly out the door. "Lloyd come" he ordered and Lloyd left her alone with her daughter in the cot so far away that she couldn't see him but she could hear her cry. "Hanna" she crooned trying to stop her daughter from crying while getting out of bed and trying to get as close as possible to her daughters cot. "Hanna please" she cried trying to extend a hand to her daughters crib "I'm so sorry Hanna" she cried tears falling down in floods as her tiny lungs started were balling.

"HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?" Nick shouted "YOU PROMISED SHE WAS GOING TO BE OK" DCI Rigurn sat and took the abuse.  
"Look I'm very sorry Mr Jordan we were sure she would be ok" she tried to reason but Nick clenched his fists in anger the TV appeal had ended abruptly after the question from journalist. He just couldn't believe it his daughter was with him, in harms way but at least with Zoe and then it hit him she was with Zoe and Zoe was in danger horrible danger. "My daughter is out there somewhere and she is danger and all you people could say was I thought she was safe" his voice wavered and it became to much and he broke down. "Look Nick why don't you take a nap for a couple of hours" she suggested kindly  
"Yes" he agreed and collapsed on the sofa where Casey sat down next to him and lay down leaning on him and part of him thought about the future him, Zoe and Hanna all curled up on a sofa like this with maybe even a little baby. For not though that didn't matter all he needed was his fiancee and daughter. He felt his eyes steadily begin to close and he drifted off.

He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep for but obviously long enough and he woke up to the sound of DCI Rigburn's voice "What did you just say?" she asked and Nick's eyes opened quickly "What news?" he said and his eyes went wide as the last person he expected to see stood there!

**So please review with what you think!**


	51. Temazepam

**Sorry about the delay in writting I have been camping all weekend at Guilwell near London on Explorer camp. Which while great fun didn't give me time to write :(**

"Lloyd what are you doing here?" Nick asked worried  
"Look I said I'm sorry and I made an error in judgement and you can arrest me later I want to help though" Lloyd begged.  
"What's going on?" Nick asked slightly confused and starting to get angry as what people were saying made no sence  
"Lloyd here has informed us that he was responsible for the kidnap of both Zoe and Hanna it seems" DCI Rigburn said so casually that Nick had to double take.  
"What did you just say?" he asked getting up quickly walking threatning toward Lloyd  
"Look I told you I didn't know what was going to happen to her, I just did the job I was told to" he defended himself putting his arms out infront of him for protection.  
"You kidnapped my fiancee and daughter because it was your job" Nick said sarcastically  
"Well if I knew I was going to get this kind of a responce I wouldn't have come. If you had seen her though she looked so pathetic..." he started but Nick looked up at him into his eyes "What" he said stunned  
"I told you she looked pathetic her hair is a real mess and her body is a real mess you can see her ribs" he said going into lots of detail which made his eyes go wide.  
"She's still alive, still healthy, talking?" he asked amazed  
"Well not really, for now she is" Lloyd nodded  
"Where is she?" he asked quickly grabbing his coat.  
"Here" he showed them on the map and DCI Rigburn tried to stop Nick from going to the door  
"We need to plan..." she protested  
"What we need to do is rescue Zoe and Hanna" he protested and she looked as though she was weighing up the possibilites and then nodded in agreement.  
"Ok we'll go now" she nodded and radioed in the information and new plan.

"Hello Zoe" Matt whispered from the door way her head shot up quickly "Get up" he ordered and she stumbled in haste to do what he had asked so that Hanna would not get hurt. "Matt" she whispered a greeting nodding her head and looking down at the floor  
"Darling look at me" he said sweetly and she looked up slowly into his chest "Baby I'm sorry for everything" he paused wanting to spit out the apology he knew he didn't mean. "To make it up to you I have a suprise for you" he encouraged her flashing her a smile which she didn't buy  
"Suprise?" she whispered questioningly  
"We're going away on holiday" he told her smiling taking her un cuffed hand and stroking it slightly trying to reasurre her.  
"What" she gulped  
"I'm taking you away I have already booked the flights we are going to Chad all of us me, you, Hanna and Sean" he informed her  
"All of us" she stuttered not wanting Sean anywhere near her and her daughter.  
"Yep" he smiled and there was only one responce to the pain she felt. She took a deep breath "Matt can I have Temazepam please?" she asked quietly and he raised an eye brow questioningly. "Please Matt" she pleaded  
"Fine Sean can you get her a box" he instructed shouting down the corridor where Sean was waiting still not allowed to see Zoe after what he did. A few seconds later he entered with a box and handed it to her and Matt went toward the cott and gave her to Zoe  
"We will leave you to sleep" Matt told her sweetly  
"Can I have a pen and paper?" she asked pushing her luck slightly. He gave in anyway and instructed Sean to get her some  
"Thanks" she muttered in responce and they left the room leaving her alone. She craddled Hanna in her arms and delicatley layed her on the bed next to her as she started to write...

She finished the letter and lay it on the bed next to her and seized the box of tablets "I love you Hanna and thats why I have to do this to protect you" she whispered and cut not only 2 or 3 out but 10. She lay down on the bed and picked up Hanna in her arms and lay down on the bed ready to end her life for the good of her daughter...

**So does she do it?  
****Will Nick find her before it is too late?  
Or will Matt infact be her saviour and stop her taking the tablets?**


	52. Interview

**Right Guys while I love you a lot but seriously you guys I haven't got a single review about the last chapter and only 1 about chapter 50 so please people even if it is just a "Love the chapter" please review! Also please exuse my grammar I am dyspraxiac!**

"Right Nick I need you to stay here" DCI Rigburn ordered getting out of the car and shutting the door behind her, "suprisingly" Nick didn't listen and got out the car he couldn't miss this he couldn't miss seeing Zoe's face no matter how bruised and battered it was. DCI Rigburn,DCI Colson, and another random bunch of poilice officers he didn't care about stood at the door with Nick. DCI Colson knocked at the door and Nick started to tap his foot nervously but there was no responce "This is the Police" he called and there was still no responce  
"Right we will be going by force" he turned taking the lead on this case and jacked the door open. The doors came off the hinges and crashed to the floor with a bang that shook the frame of the house and the police squad invaded the house "Right Nick stay with me" DCI Rigburn ordered grabbing his hand as they banged the leading doors open. Then there was something, a cry something that made Nick freeze for a millisecond before running to the source of the noise and DCI Rigburn saw the lock on the door and knew it was the correct one. She brought out a pair of clippers from her belt and clipped the lock and kicked the door open and Nick rushed into the room seeing Zoe lying on the bed and his heart melted! Despite how bruised and battered she looked she looked so peaceful and he rushed over as DCI Rigburn tried to take his arm in case there was a trap but he shook her off and ran to her he took his daughter out her grip and realised that Zoe hadn't flinched and he tried to wake her despratlly shaking her and then his heart plummeted as he realised she wasn't breathing...

DCI Rigburn was getting fustrated there was only so much she could take of this mans stiff attitude she couldn't believe the nerve!"Right that's it interview suspended at 12:58" she sighed looking at the clock "Take him away" she ordered and put her head in her hands and massaged her head it had been a long day. Things still didn't add up though "Why would he not confess to it and yet to everything else" she started wanting to understand that man  
"He's a physcopath why does he do anything don't concern yourself with it" DCI Colson defended. "No it doesn't make sence" she sighed

_"Mr Strong you were found with Ms Hanna tied up in the house you were staying in any comment?"DCI Rigburn asked  
"Yep she deserved it" he smiled widley and DCI Rigburn started to quake with rage.  
"I'm sorry how did she deserve it?" she questioned trying to control her rage  
"She was carrying another man's baby" he smiled malicously laying back in the chair as though he was sitting in front of the TV.  
"Mr Strong do you actually have any proof of this?" she mused  
"I don't need poof" he laughed.  
"Fine, Mr Strong you are being charged with countless charges of GBH, 2 counts of attempted murder and serval counts of rape" she informed him and he suddenly tensed up  
"What do you mean attempted murder?" he asked now suddenly interested.  
"You set alight to your wife in a fire at your appartment and then there is the face that Ms Hanna was found unconcious at your home nealy dead!" she said angrily  
"WHAT I NEVER TRIED TO KILL HER WHEN SHE WAS WITH ME" he shouted getting up from the chair angrily flicking it back and it clattered to the floor with a bang.  
"MR STRONG CALM DOWN" She shouted trying to calm him down  
"IS SHE...?" he asked hyperventalating as guards seized his arms and held him and another picked up the chair and placed him on it.  
"Why would you care you got her that way" DCI Rigburn shot  
"I DIDN'T" he shouted and the was something else in his voice that she coudn't quite place  
"So what then did she get in that state by magic?" she questioned.  
"I DON'T KNOW" he yelled and she clenched her fists, she was getting fustrated there was only so much she could take of this mans stiff attitude she couldn't believe the nerve!"Right that's it interview suspended at 12:58"_

"

Georgina" the voice behind her made her take her head out her hands "It will be ok" he smiled reasuringly and she smiled "I know thanks" she smiled at her collegue  
"DCI Rigburn I think there is something you will want to see" A young women entered the interview room. The women was only a couple of years younger than Zoe and had jet black hair which set nicly against her pale complexion "Ah DI Yvonne Rippon what can I help you with?" she asked poiltley.  
"I have a letter that may clear information up for you" she smiled and handed the pale beige letter to her and Yvonne left the room and she shakily took the envolope not sure if she wanted to know what was in it. She took a deep breath and her collegue put a reasuring hand on her arm and she was able to open the letter...

_Dear Matt,  
This is the shortest letter I will probably ever have to write and it is also one that is ever so crucial, and I guess what I want to say is everything I am to chicken to say in person.  
You ruined my life, the moment I said yes, it was the worst mistake of my life but you gave me my daughter so I guess I owe you that much. I was so much before you I was beautiful, sexy, intelligent a party animal and whats more I was confident. I used to have such confidence, and I miss that and I have you to thank for that now here I am reduced to taking 10 simple tablets that will very quickly end my life. So this is where I __end it, good bye Matt from the former beautiful, sexy, intelligent party animal.  
Good bye,  
From __Zoe _

_Ps: Yes I did say it, you gave me my daughter so look after her!_

She put down the letter a tear in her eye which when she closed her eye trickled down her cheek as everything began to make sence "Hey Georgina what's wrong" DCI Colson asked from next to her and she handed him the letter and he looked at it and read it carefully and gasped as he finished it.  
"She must have been so alone" She whispered  
"Look you have to detach yourself from this case it's not healthy" he reasoned stroking at her hair  
"No everything about this case is personal we should have protected her, she should not have had to feel so alone and like she had no one in the world" she pleaded at her partner choking back tears. "Is there something you want to talk to me about?" he asked sweetly  
"What, no I'm fine" she defended herself but he could see right though her and she broke down and let the tears fall. Her partner embraced her in a hug trying to defend her from the world outside and he kissed her forehead and she looked up at him confused "Sorry" he muttered  
"No, no" she smiled for the first time and leant up and kissed him on the lips.  
"Why did you?" he asked not sure if he wanted to know the answer and more unsure that she wouldn't tell him.  
"I was 15 and felt totally alone I was bullied and my parents didn't want to know me they thought I was an attention seeking brat" she told him squeezing his hand. "Oh Georgie" he crooned stroking her arm reasuringly.  
"Do we know how she is?" DCI Rigburn asked  
"No, I'm sorry" he said feeling guilty for an unknown reason  
"Can we find out" she instructed nervously.  
"Sure I will do it now" he smiled and released her from the hug and he got up and left her alone in the interview room staring at the blank walls where so many people had confessed their sins. "Please God let her be alright" she preyed putting her hands together.

**So if you guys didn't get it Georgina (DCI Rigburn) tried to commite suicide. Please people Review!**


	53. Hospital

_"Right Nick I need you to stay here" DCI Rigburn ordered getting out of the car and shutting the door behind her, "suprisingly" Nick didn't listen and got out the car he couldn't miss this he couldn't miss seeing Zoe's face no matter how bruised and battered it was. DCI Rigburn,DCI Colson, and another random bunch of poilice officers he didn't care about stood at the door with Nick. DCI Colson knocked at the door and Nick started to tap his foot nervously but there was no responce "This is the Police" he called and there was still no responce_  
_"Right we will be going by force" he turned taking the lead on this case and jacked the door open. The doors came off the hinges and crashed to the floor with a bang that shook the frame of the house and the police squad invaded the house "Right Nick stay with me" DCI Rigburn ordered grabbing his hand as they banged the leading doors open. Then there was something, a cry something that made Nick freeze for a millisecond before running to the source of the noise and DCI Rigburn saw the lock on the door and knew it was the correct one. She brought out a pair of clippers from her belt and clipped the lock and kicked the door open and Nick rushed into the room seeing Zoe lying on the bed and his heart melted! Despite how bruised and battered she looked she looked so peaceful and he rushed over as DCI Rigburn tried to take his arm in case there was a trap but he shook her off and ran to her he took his daughter out her grip and realised that Zoe hadn't flinched and he tried to wake her despratlly shaking her and then his heart plummeted as he realised she wasn't breathing..._

"Zoe" he shouted and grabbed a took a blanket and wrapped it around her and picked her up he beckoned to another officer DI Rippon and she took Hanna and they ran though the house leading her outside where an ambulance was already on stand by "SHE'S NOT BREATHING" he yelled to the paramedics. The paramedics were members of Holby but none he was particually friendly with "Ok can you give her to us" one of them said. She was female not to short but not to tall and was muscular and authorative but he listened and handed her over. "Ok Clive she's not reacting and..." she paused as she noticed the bottle in her hand which Nick had not noticed. "Clive step on it we have to get in now we are looking at a temazepam OD" she shouted "Hang on OD" Nick queried confused but the ambulance doors were shut and they started to get out of there.  
"No Zoe would not..." he started but realised that he didn't know what she had been though and more importantly he saw that her pupils were not responding and it started to make him physically sick. "Oh Zoe how could he do that" he crooned knowing that she was in a pretty fatal way  
"Come on baby" he whispered stroking her hand  
"She's is in resperatory arrest" she called and Nick's eyes went wide as she grabbed the bag and started to bag her.  
"Can you alert the ED" the paramedic said  
"Ok" Clive replied and pressed the radio "28 year old female in respitory arrest also temazepam OD and several lacerations ETA 1 minute she also has old burns to her back" he radiod in. Nick would have preffered it to be Dixie or Jeff treating Zoe but just at the last minute they had been called to a shout. There was another call from the ED Nick presumed and he answered it "Can we ask patients name and any previous history?" he recognised the voice as belonging to Linda. Something in Nick clicked  
"Don't tell them all they need to know is she has AB neg blood and a baby who looks fine" he said and the information was relayed.  
He felt the ambulance slow as the Paradmedic stopped bagging and she came out of respitory arrest and they came to a stop. Clive got out and opened the back of the ambulance and Nick helped to get Zoe out. They carefully lowered her to the ground and wheeled her inside the department.

Linda 

"Sam where's Nick?" Linda asked curiously  
"Nick I don't sorry Linda, why do you want him?" Sam asked  
"Oh I wanted his advice on a patient, oh actually can you take a look?" she said causually.  
"Sure" she smiled  
"Thanks she's in cubicle 6" Linda started but the phone rang and she signalled where her patient was. She picked up the phone "Holby City ED" and she nodded twistering her hair round her finger "Ok 1 minute we will be ready" Linda told them.  
"SAM incoming 28 year old female in respitory arrest also temazepam OD and several lacerations ETA 1 minute" Linda told her as he came out the cubicle.  
"Do we have a name or any history?" she asked  
"No but the patient does have old burns I can ring back...?" she asked  
"Thanks Linda" Sam said nodding.  
"Can we ask patients name and any previous history?" she asked and nodded at the information she recieved and put the phone down "Dr Kent" she called and he turned to face her "Tom we have an incoming baby the child seems fine however mum is in a pretty bad way" she told him.  
"ETA?" he questioned  
"Less than a minute" she confirmed "Scarlett, Charlie your needed in rhesus " she called and they both nodded and they headed to rhesus prepping it. Sam, Tom and her were standing by just as the doors opened...

"Ok this is Zoe Hanna 28 involved in a captive situation for 2 weeks she was in respitory arrest however she is fine now, temazepam OD and several lacerations to her stomach, back, hands and feet!" A male paramedic told them. Their hearts dropped as they heard those words _It was Zoe. _Her and Sam continued into rhesus while Tom listened to the information on Hanna from the female paramedic.  
"Ok Mr Jordan you are doing to have to wait outside, can we pepare for a gastic levage and can you get onto obsetricts they will probably want her back up there" Sam ordered and Linda handed her the stuff "Come on Sam" Nick pleaded.  
"Sorry Mr Jordan" she appoligsed and showed him outside While Linda was on the phone Sam had started performing the gastric levage. When Linda turned Zoe's skin had returned to it's normal colour and the insides of her stomach was in a bowl on the trolley.

Nick was pacing up and down he couldn't believe he was in this situation he felt to useless. While he knew rhesus was out he headed into paeds rhesus with Tom "Right Mr J we were just about to..." he stopped half way though his sentance as he removed Hanna's clothing. There was a gash across her stomach which was sorrounded in puss and inflamed nobody spoke for a second Tom broke the silence"What the hell happened?"  
"I'm going to kill him" Nick said suddenly and made to stand up  
"Nick please your daughter" Tom reminded him and Nick suddenly remembered her  
"Hanna" he whispered and he stroked the top of his daughters head.  
"Ok Scarlett she seems hot to the touch so lets get some IV paracetamol and lets get some antiseptic strips" Tom instructed  
"Ok" she responded.  
"Mr J Hanna should be fine the birth unit will be up to take her soon" Tom informed him and Nick nodded and went into rhesus as soon as he entered Sam turned round and opened her mouth as if to tell him to leave but she didn't she nodded and he approached. "Right Nick the amount she injested could of been lethal for now though she is stable however we won't know if there is any lasting damage till she wakes" Sam informed him and he nodded.  
"I'm going to kill him I swear that man will pay for hurting her" he swore going over and holding Zoe's hand very well aware that she was only wearing her underwear. He could feel his blood boil and wondered what horror she had been subjected to while she was with him. "It's ok baby" he whispered "Everything will be ok" Sam passed him the notes  
"There is something else Mr J" he pointed out her date of birth and smiled  
"It's her birthday tommorow" he said suprised.  
"Yes I thought you would want to know" Sam said  
"I didn't, I wasn't aware" he looked shocked and stuttered  
"Well now you do" Sam informed him. Her heart rate plumpted and she went into cardiac arrest...

DCI Rigburn sat in the staff room of the Police Station "Georgina the hospital have just sent word"DCI Colson said as he entered the staff room...

**Are so is she alive or dead?  
What will Nick's reaction be to Zoe's attempted suicide?**

**Again please review! And thank you for the reviews!**


	54. I Promise

**SORRY FOR THE DELAY I HAVE HAD LOT'S OF HOMEWORK AND COURSEWORK AND MY INTERNETS REALLY BAD!**

Nick stood pacing only wanting one thing from the girl of his dreams and it was nothing sexual, it was for her to simply open her dark brown eyes which were so fiecly determined.

Her head was swimming and she was aching all over and she couldn't help wondering was this what the after life was like. Stuck in her a void wanting more than anything to see the people she loved one more time and the other side telling her it was her time to leave. She had already caused so much pain to the people she loved and she thought of Hanna her small precious miracle little girl who probably now was starting to realise her mother was going leaving her and a part of her wanted to cry. But she couldn't the dead didn't cry they didn't care and she knew that is what Matt would tell her when she was older but perphaps he wouldn't test out her lie. The truth was she never had a paternity test she was too scared at the results but she hoped that if she wrote it in the letter that Matt would believe her and in someways he would not be as hard on Hanna as he had been her. Call it cowerdice or call it maternal nature she was determined to protect her baby. She wanted to surface from the pool that was her mind to see where she was what the after life had install for her but she heard his voice from the surface.

"Hey baby it's Nick, I miss you so much darling but can you open your eyes for me?" he begged looking at Zoe's face expecting a result. "Please if you open your eyes I'll promise you I won't shout at you when you buy expensive shoes." He promised stroking her black hair twisting it around his finger. "You know we have a wedding to plan and we have to move into our new house and more importantly we can have more kids" he smiled and looked down at her angelic face.

We can have more kids" Nick said and Zoe heard the words but didn't understand them what a cruel trick for whoever was incharge of this place to play and she wanted to yell. She wanted to scream. She wanted the whole of the world she was in to know how much it hurt to his his voice so strained with axiety and worry. She repeated the words again to herself in her mind What did he mean by more kids and then she remembered that Hanna was hurt by Matt and she shrank back into her shell again realsing for the first time perphaps she wasn't dead.  
"I love you Zoe" he whispered to her and she could tell he was on the verge of tears and it was killing her. She tried to open her eyes slowly at first then trying to blink harder in her mind searching for the surface "Nick" she wanted to scream out and not only noises were coming back to her now but smell, taste and feel. She could feel her hair was strained from being pulled slightly and knew instinctabley the feel of a hospital bed with the cheap thread bare blankets that barely did their job of keeping her warm and as if she needed any more confromation of where she was she could now start to hear the sound of a heart rate monitor beeping at a consistant rate and the smell of severe disinfectant hit her nostils and now the only thing left to do was open her eyes... but she couldn't do it she didn't belong in that world a world where her daughter was so obviously in danger. She presumed Matt had left her behind and that was how they had found her and she wondered what Nick would say to her after all she was meant to be a mother. Then she clicked and realised that if she didn't wake up she wouldn't be able to talk to Nick and get what she obviously deserved.

"Ok here it is I promise that when you wake up I will protect you from anyfuther harm, I will cheer you up when you get down and I will live out my life trying to apologise for the last couple of days and the time we have spent apart" he promised.  
"How about you add in doing the laundry for a month or two and you have yourself a deal" Zoe smiled fluttering her eyes opened.

**Honest opions do you like it so far?**


	55. Woken Up

**Thanks for all the lovley reviews so far on this story they have made me smile! :) **

_"Ok here it is I promise that when you wake up I will protect you from any futher harm, I will cheer you up when you get down and I will live out my life trying to apologise for the last couple of days and the time we have spent apart" he promised._  
_"How about you add in doing the laundry for a month or two and you have yourself a deal" Zoe smiled fluttering her eyes opened._

His head whipped round and he saw Zoe's eyes open not yet shinning with her usual fire but open and that was a massive victory in itself. "Zoe" he croaked and she smiled widley in her own nervous way  
"OMG Zoe" he said again reaching foreward and kissing her on the forehead. "I have missed you so much" he whispered not wanting to scare her but when he looked down he saw her tears splashing down "Hey what's wrong?" he asked.  
"I'm sorry Nick" she whispered though tears and he looked aghast at her  
"What do you have to be sorry for?" he asked  
"Hanna" she whispered.  
"I don't understand Zo she's in the NICU-" he started  
"Hanna's here" she intereptud weakly  
"Yes Zoe she's here and she's ok exept-" he started but stopped he couldn't tell her that she had been harmed he knew she would feel bad. Unfortunatly for him she knew him well  
"Nick" she said scared by his pause a male nurse entered  
"Oh your awake, I'm going to have to call the Dr" he ordered and Nick looked angry for a second as the nurse left. "You will probably have to go up to CT" he told her gently  
"Nick, Hanna" she said quietly  
"She's fine baby she sustained some cuts and bruises to her" Nick said as gently as possible knowing that it was going to be a difficult topic.  
"I'm sorry Nick" she started to cry further  
"Zoe" he questioned confused  
"I tried I promise you I tried but-" she started but a knock at the door cut her off.  
"Hello Miss Hanna it's great to see you awake, it makes a nice change we need to ask you some questions is that ok?" DCI Rigburn said cautiously not knowing what state she was in. Zoe nodded "Of course" she whispered  
"Exuse me Zoe has to go to CT you can save your questioning for later when she is more awake" A very authorative female Dr ordered.  
"Fine we will come back when she is more awake" DCI Rigburn smiled  
"You will come back when I say you can" the Dr said again  
"Fine" DCI Rigburn gave her a false smile and her and the other DCI left.

Zoe couldn't help but feel nervous as she was gently taken to CT with Nick by one side and her guilt and shame the other. "Nick I'm scared" she whispered and he turned to her a look of suprise regersting on her face "It's ok baby" he smiled reasurringly stroking her hair as he did so "It's all going to be ok" he smiled as she entered CT.

**So the ending was quite soppy but apart from that hope you liked it! :DDDDDDDD**


	56. Questioning

**Sorry this took me so long but unfortunatly you may have to get used to slightly longer waiting times as I have lots of coursework and exams coming up. **

The ED was chaotic as ever but today he didn't care and he reached the nurses station and knew today nothing could get him down. "Nick" Tess said from behind him and he turned  
"Ah Tess how can I help you?" he asked.  
"How's Zoe?" she asked and at this several people including Charlie, Linda and Robyn started to listen and in responce and Nick smiled and a tear formed in his eyes. "Oh Nick what happened?" Tess said shocked putting a hand to her mouth  
"She woke up Tess, she's awake and we had a whole conversation" he smiled.  
"Congrats" Tess and Charlie smiled "Is she up for visiters?" Tess asked  
"Yh I think she is" Nick confirmed  
"Nick you have some some post" Noel said and he handed it to him. Nick scanned though it all Junk, junk, junk and then he froze it was classier than the other letters and slightly bigger and the white envelope was spotless and it had a stamp in the corner and was addressed to Zoe but he opened it anyway.

**Dear Miss Hanna,  
This is the legal team of one Jeff Darklai and first I have to send my deepest sympathy first of all to his passing and also to inform you of the reading of the will. You Miss Hanna have been named as a benificater to the will and so I must invite you to the reading of said will on the 21st of Febuary at 25 Marque Square Holby. **

**From  
Leo Desena  
****eternity at law**

Nick's jaw dropped that was not what he was expecting "I have to go and see Zoe" he said quickly and before anyone could question him ran out the ED to see Zoe. He wasn't sure why it bothered him there was just something about that name...

He got up to gyne and saw Zoe come out of CT "I'm fine" Nick she said before he had a chance to speak  
"Who said I was going to-" he started  
"Nick" she reasoned cutting him up and giving him an obvious sort of look.  
"Ok so I was going to" he conseeded taking her hand as she arrived back in her cubicle  
"See I know you better than you think I do" she smiled.  
"Zoe I need to talk to you-" he started  
"Hello again Miss Hanna I'm sorry we are going to have to question you about your ordieal with Mr Strong" DCI Rigburn said sympathetically interupting Nick. "Your partner can stay with you if you would like Miss Hanna?" she said when Zoe started to look terrified for a second  
"I can do this, yh I'm ready" she smiled widley trying to give the impression that she was ok but knowing this was going to be difficult.  
"Ok let's get straight down to buisness at the moment Mr Strong is being charged with GBH, attempted murder on one occasion, stealing medical supplies and kidnap" she informed them both. "Hang on what do you mean one occasion and what about rape, harm to a minor and that he tried to kill her when she was with that physco he nealy killed her" Nick shouted interupting her.  
"Mr Jordan calm down please" DCI Rigburn protested "Depending on the answer your fiance gives we will decide other charges".

"Ok to start with can you recount what happened to you while you were with Mr Strong?" DCI Rigburn asked kindly. Zoe knew that the question would come up but she still wasn't prepared as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second.  
"We can give you a pen and paper if you would prefer to write it down?" she prompted  
"No" she said strongly "I can do this" she whispered quietly to herself and Nick squeezed her hand "I was in the lift and then Sean appeared and he kicked me and I must have fallen unconcious as next thing...next thing I knew I was tied up" she started and took time to breathe.  
"Continue Miss Hanna" DCI Rigburn ordered  
"I wasn't just tied up" she stuttered "I was gagged and there was touching and he drew a knife over..." and she lifted her top up and Nick turned away from her not being able to look at the result of his neglegence.  
"Ok Miss Hanna can you continue" DCI Rigburn ordered  
"It happened quickly to say the least he undid my legs and threw me on the bed and...and...and" she stuttered on the last word and looked away from Nick and up at the ceiling "He raped me" she closed her eyes and continued now she had started she had to continue. "After that day-" she started and tried to have the confidence to say the next words but was spared the trouble by DCI Rigburn "Miss Hanna can you talk me though the day your daughter was taken" she asked gently knowing it would be difficult for her. "Hhhe I watched the apeal" she conseeded remembering how much she had cried when she had watched it, how useless she felt and how she was so depressed. "Zoe" Nick took her chin and faced it toward her "I didn't know you-" he started but DCI Rigburn interupted him "Mr Jordan if you wouldn't mind Miss Hanna continue" she prompted.  
"Hhhe told me he had Hanna and, and iiifff I wanted to see her then..." she trailed off and restarted "He said I had to have sex with him to see Hanna" she shuddered and she started to cry remembering his touch, his scent and tensing up as Nick touched the top of her arm. Again Nick looked like he was going to interupt him but she continued "I did it" she whispered "I slept with him and he let me see Hanna" she whispered.  
"Miss Hanna did you want to sleep with Mr Strong?" DCI Rigburn asked  
"I wanted to see my baby" she whispered turning away from Nick the man who she loved more than anything and soon was going to hate her.  
"Is there anything else you can tell us?" DCI Rigburn asked.  
"Yes that day I had Hanna and I...He told me to hand her over and I didn't listen, I held onto her tighter but he shouted at me to give her over and I didn't. When I didn't he pulled her away from me and cut into her stomach" she cried breaking down taking her hand out Nick's and wrapping her arms protectivley arounf herself. "Look I really think that is enough she has gone though a traumatic time and dosen't need anymore questions" he said firmly putting his foot down.

"Soon Miss Hanna I'm sorry final big question did you write this?" she asked and passed over the rough letter that she had written a couple of days prior. Zoe took the letter shakily opening it up and nodding reading the words and Zoe's eyes had filled with tears warm tears that spilled down her crying "Zoe what is that?" Nick asked and as soon as he did she started to cry.  
"I'm sorry NicK" she whispered  
"Zoe?" he said again confused  
"Nick" she whispered and he sat down onto her bed and wrapped his arms protectivley round her hugging her tightly.  
"What is it Zoe?" he asked gently and he tried to take the peice of paper but she tugged it away. "Yes I wrote it" she said weakly handing it back appaled with herself. "Ok Zoe I know that was difficult I now need you to confirm for me that you intended to commit suicide" she asked and Nick's eyes went wide for a second.  
"What the hell did you just say?" Nick said raising his voice loudly and Zoe shrank back. "Mr Jordan I told you I want Miss Hanna to confirm that you attempted to kil yourself" DCI Rigburn said cooly as though she was merley stating the weather.  
"No, I told you your talking to the wrong person coming in here throwing your weight around you people are meant to be on our side and you are accusing her of..." he trailed off as he realised that Zoe looked petrified on the bed.  
"Zoe" he whispered "I'm so sorry" but he recoiled as he saw her nod  
"I did" she whispered and Nick went stiff in shock.


	57. Love you

_"Soon Miss Hanna I'm sorry final big question did you write this?" she asked and passed over the rough letter that she had written a couple of days prior. Zoe took the letter shakily opening it up and nodding reading the words and Zoe's eyes had filled with tears warm tears that spilled down her crying "Zoe what is that?" Nick asked and as soon as he did she started to cry. "I'm sorry NicK" she whispered "Zoe?" he said again confused "Nick" she whispered and he sat down onto her bed and wrapped his arms protectivley round her hugging her tightly. "What is it Zoe?" he asked gently and he tried to take the peice of paper but she tugged it away. "Yes I wrote it" she said weakly handing it back appaled with herself. "Ok Zoe I know that was difficult I now need you to confirm for me that you intended to commit suicide" she asked and Nick's eyes went wide for a second. "What the hell did you just say?" Nick said raising his voice loudly and Zoe shrank back. "Mr Jordan I told you I want Miss Hanna to confirm that you attempted to kil yourself" DCI Rigburn said cooly as though she was merley stating the weather. "No, I told you your talking to the wrong person coming in here throwing your weight around you people are meant to be on our side and you are accusing her of..." he trailed off as he realised that Zoe looked petrified on the bed. "Zoe" he whispered "I'm so sorry" but he recoiled as he saw her nod "I did" she whispered and Nick went stiff in shock._

"Zoe" he clarified his eyes going wide in shock "Zoe" he said again but she didn't respond and started to cry "ZOE" he said more angriliy and she shrank back against the bed. "I'm sorry" she whispered sobbing uncontrolabley into her hands and there was something in him that made his heart sink  
"No Zoe I'm so sorry" he smiled trying to embrace her in a hug but she leant back not feeling like she deserved it.  
"Sorry for the upset Miss Hanna" DCI Rigburn appoligised and as Zoe looked at her she could tell that part of her wasn't her usual self.  
"Are you ok?" Zoe asked kindly  
"Fine" she nodded "I'll leave you to" she nodded again and they both left and as soon as the door swung shut Zoe started to cry more heavily.  
"I'm so sorry Nick" she sobbed and turned away from him cuddling her knees protecting her face and shaking with fear and she started to whimper more violenltly as she started to jerk. Nick suddenly grabbed her realising what was happening to her "I NEED SOME HELP IN HERE! CAN I HAVE SOME LORAZAPAM STAT" Nick shouted at a nurse realsing that Zoe was fitting and feeling admittingly guilty for putting her in that state. A nurse quickly filled a siringe and injected her while Nick tried to hold her body still  
"Keep her steady" the nurse ordered as she injeted it into her arm and she suddenly became calm.  
"Zoe" he whispered _How could he do this _he thought to himself _How could he force her into a fit, he had just got her back and he had promised himself. He had told himself that if he ever got her back he would protect her not_ put her into a seizure. He stroked her hair gently knowing that he was the problem "I'm sorry" he whispered. Zoe groaned and Nick smiled pleased that she was ok  
"Sorry" she muttered and Nick looked shocked for a second.  
"Zoe Hanna you have nothing to be sorry for, you understand me" he said sternly turning her over and lifting her chin up. "Yes" she whispered  
"I love you, you know that" he asked confirming it. But she turned away from him feeling like she wasn't worth it and so didn't respond "Zoe" he prompted  
!I'm sorry, I love you too" she whisperred and he took her gently and embraced her in his strong macho arms.  
"Nick I'm sorry about the..." she started unable to say the words and she wanted to continue but he interupted her "Don't Zoe you have already lived though that hell before" he smiled weakly trying to cheer her up.  
"Zoe when you get out of here how about we get married" he suggested and she turned "You want to..." she started  
"Of course I do baby" he reasurred. She froze as she remembered the last person to call her that and she started to shiver agaun and he held her tighter. But this made it worse as he would always do that. She knew she had to get out of it and tried to wriggle free and as soon as Nick felt her struggle he relinquished her. "Zoe are you ok?" he asked  
"I'm sorry" she said again.  
"What was that Zo?" he asked  
"I just panicked the last time..." she whispered  
"Darling it's ok" he smiled "From now on the only touching shall be done with a fair amount of warning" he clarrified. "Now is it ok if I kiss you?" he asked and gently lent in and she leaned taking solace from the warmth of the douvet.

**So I'm not sure if this is any good as I wrote lots of it very late so please feel free to tell me what you think!**


	58. Released

_"I'm sorry" she said again._ _"What was that Zo?" he asked_ _"I just panicked the last time..." she whispered_ _"Darling it's ok" he smiled "From now on the only touching shall be done with a fair amount of warning" he clarrified. "Now is it ok if I kiss you?" he asked and gently lent in and she leaned taking solace from the warmth of the douvet._

2 weeks had gone by and Zoe's confidence was growing "And that's it Miss Hanna you are free to go" the receptionist smiled. Zoe looked nervous for a split second but as soon as Nick touched her hand she relaxed. "I thought we would pop into the ED I just have to collect some paper work" he suggested "Ok" she responded quietly and Nick sensed this "I love you Zo" he smiled. "I love you to Nick" she squeezed his hand and they finished signing the forms. They turned and headed toward the lift and walked toward it as they entered the lift he turned to her. "Are you ok?" he asked "Of course I am Nick you don't have to worry about me" she smiled "Zoe it's my job to-" "-It's your job to treat patients" she argued back lightly. The lift pinged open and they stepped out into the fun and busy ED Tess, charlie and Noel were standing next to reception probably arguing. "Hey Zoe" Tess called suprised and Charlie and Noel looked round "How are you feeling Zo?" Tess asked walking toward her and embracing her in a hug and she took an intake of breath though her teeth as Tess manged to get one of her broken ribs. "She should be fine shouldn't you baby?" he smiled and turned to her "Are you going to be ok here while I go and grab the stuff from my office?" he asked concerned still about her saftey. "I'll be fine Nick" she reasurred him and touched his arm gently and he turned and started to walk toward his office when he turned back "Tess keep an eye on her" he mouthed and Tess smiled and let out a silent nod as she nodded.

"What are you smiling about?" Zoe asked as it was Charlie's turn to hug her "Oh nothing" she deffended exchanging a look with Charlie. "He asked you to look after me didn't he" she guessed and they all started to laugh "It's nice to see your back to your old self" Tess smiled "How are you feeling though?" she asked. "I'm ok thanks Tess it's just Nick seriously if I have to here him ask me if I'm ok one more time" she laughed weakly "He's just worried about you darling he's only just got you back" Tess smiled knowing exactly how it felt to have someone care about her. She also knew how much she would give for someone to care about her now "I know but I wish he didn't have to be so..." she trailed off. "You should be pleased someone cares" Tess told her "Oh Tess I never" she started feeling guilty "It wasn't a hint Zo" she smiled. "Oh" she caved and was about to continue when her whole body stiffened up "Lloyd" she said curtly not looking him in the eye sure that he as well was remembering the last time they had met. "Dr Hanna" he stuttered unsure of what to make of everything "I think we are slightly beyond that" she argued smiling poitly. "I'm so sorry" he held out his hand as a form of appoligy and she took it shaking it "It's ok" she smiled still though she wouldn't admit it scared by he the man in front of her.

Nick rounded the corner and saw Zoe with one of the last people he ever thought he would see. "What the hell are you doing near her?" Nick shouted across to Lloyd who turned and quickly went to run but Zoe grabbed his arm "Don't you dare" she told him sternly and he didn't. "Nick we have made our peace"Zoe said slipping in front of him knowing that he would never get angry at her "Zoe" he pleaded giving her a look that told his displeasure about having to keep civil. "Nick" she smiled but he couldn't look at her for a second rage and anger taking over how could she forgive him after everything? He looked back at her "Zoe I have what we came for we better get you home" he smiled. She walked toward him and took his hand like she was trying to stop him from doing anything stupid "Come on" she smiled and they walked out the ED doors. They walked to the car and Nick knew there was something playing on his finacee's mind "Tell me Zo?" "What?" she questioned innocently "Zoe" he said wrapping his arm around hers. "You know that letter..." she started and he sighed "What about the letter?" he asked  
"I don't know who the father is, I lied because I thought if she was going to be with, with him then if she was his daughter" Zoe trailed off and Nick took her hand gently and kissed her gently on the forehead. "Was that it Zo?" he grinned  
"Yeh" she nodded "I thought you would be angry" she said quietly  
"Hey I could never be angry at you could I" he smiled and opened the car door for her.


	59. First Day Back

"ZOE" he yelled from the bottom of his stairs "ZOE" he yelled again "Come on Zo I know I said take your time but come on this is taking the mick" he said annoyed looking at his watch. He heard the loud patter of her feet running down the stairs  
"Sorry, sorry Nick" she said quickly pulling her arm though the sleeve of her navy blue dress. "Um Zo" he started  
"What?" she questioned turning to Nick and trying to slip her feet into a pair of black wedges. "Um Zo..." he started again motioning discretly to the bruise just above her elbow that wasn't covered by her dress and she looked embarresed for a second "Oh" she muttered attempting to tug the dress down to cover the bruise.  
"I should go and change" she muttered when it wouldn't stretch  
"No, no we haven't really got time" he muttered quickly and she retracted slightly at his words. "Sorry bout taking so long" she muttered  
"Zo do you want to go and change I can wait" he promised.  
"No I'm fine" she smiled and he took her hand  
"Honestly I might have to tell you off when I get to work being late on your first day back and all" he tutted and she looked shock for a second  
"You wouldn't " she still looked shocked and he laughed.  
"Of course I wouldn't babe unless you want me to" he laughed his voice deepening  
"Maybe" she flirted getting up very close to him and then quickly moving away teasing him and he watched her walk toward the hall "Chop, chop Mr Jordan" she teased.  
"Hey cheeky" he argued and followed her pushing her out the door. He slammed the door shut behind the two of them and he locked up and threw her the car keys which she dropped and they made a crash as they hit the pavement. "Sorry, sorry" she said quickly as she bent down to pick them up and Nick had to look away he knew she had reggreted what she had said. It happened quite often and each time was just the same, as soon as she would saything she would realise what she had said and suddenly feel so foolish and Nick would be there unsure of what to do. "Nick I was thinking..." she started but trailed off and Nick turned to look at her as she trailed off "What is it?" he asked.  
"Oh it's nothing" she said quickly and Nick wasn't going to press it any further  
"Zoe I want you to take it easy" he instructed sternly.  
"Nick I-" she started to say, started to protest  
"No arguments Zo you will be working in CDU I'm swapping Dylan out for today" she gave him and unhappy frown which he simply laughed off as they pulled up to the ED and got out.  
"Hey Linda" Nick called  
"Oh hi Mr J, hi Zoe" and as she said Zoe's name she ran over and embraced her in a hug.  
"Hey Linda" Zoe smiled  
"If I didn't know you any better Zo I'd say you were nervous" Linda laughed  
"Nervous at spending all day in CDU I wish" she laughed.  
"CDU?" she queried as they started to walk to the hospital  
"Yh somebody wants me to take it easy" she scowled and Linda laughed  
"You may have to fight Dylan for it though" Linda laughed and pushed the doors open.  
"It's CDU there is hardly going to be any fighting" she laughed and entered the ED suddenly relaxing as the smell of antiseptic hit her nostrils. She walked up to the desk quickly "Hey everyone" she smiled  
"Dr Hanna your back" Noel said happily  
"Ah Zoe can you take cubicle 3 please" Tess said as she approached.  
"Yh sure" Zoe said quickly and made to walk quickly toward the cubicle but Nick grabbed her arm  
"Actually Tess I'll take a look" Nick interupted her and looked disaprovingly at Zoe "CDU for you" he argued and she scowled after him  
"Nick" she pleaded  
"CDU" he said in a higher sing song voice.  
"Ouch that must hurt" Linda smiled goading her "Especially as you are one of the best rhesus doctors he has" and Zoe just turned her and shot her the most dirty look she could manage. "You know what Tess I think I might need a nurse in CDU with me" Zoe smiled maliciously to Linda and Linda scowled as Tess nodded  
"Sure who do you want?" she asked  
"Oh I think I might have Linda" Zoe smiled and Linda pushed her arm gently.  
"Ok then" Tess smiled and motioned for Linda to follow Zoe and she walked off  
"That was mean Zo" she said catching up to her and linking arms.  
"Come on tell me you didn't expect that" she laughed as they rounded to CDU and pushed the door open "Um Dr Hanna what are you doing here?" Dylan asked in his usual confused sort of voice.  
"You haven't heard the great news?" she smiled shaking her head  
"No do tell?" he asked  
"You're in cubicles and rhesus for today while I get CDU" she put on a mock cheery voice.  
"Oh well whatever you want then" he moaned passing her  
"I didn't want this Dylan" she called after him but he ignored her and left CDU  
"He's a real charmer isn't he" Linda laughed and Zoe fell about laughing.

It was fairly empty most the day with only having 3 patients at most so it was fairly uneventful and boring. "Dr Hanna Tom Jenkins 12" Big Mac told her wheeling him in and Zoe got up from talking to Linda and followed him. "Ok Tom I'm Dr Hanna" she smiled and walked over to his bed and Big Mac left "Ok so what's wrong with you then?" she asked. "My throat really hurts and I keep-" he started to cough  
"Well that must be very painful" she said sympathetically taking the chart and nodding at what obviously Dylan had ordered. "So where's your parents?" she asked  
"They dropped me off, they didn't stay" he coughed.  
"I'm sorry does the Dr that treated you in cubicles know?" she asked and he shook his head "Ok then I'm going to have to call your parents and social services in" she told him "Can Linda get you anything to eat or drink?"  
"Can I...have a...drink of...water" he panted and Zoe grabbed an oxygen mask  
"Put this on" she prompted gently and placed it over his nose and mouth.  
"Linda can you get Tom here some water and then get onto social services and his parents I need to go and give Dr Keogh a peice of my mind" she scowled quickly and Linda chuckled at Zoe's rage and she stormed out of CDU. She paced down the hall quickly toward cubicle's "Zoe, Zoe, Zoe" Nick called to her but she ignored him and continued toward Dylan "Dr Keogh" she said from behind him and he turned.  
"What is it Dr Hanna?" he said quickly  
"Your patient Tom Jenkins suffering query TB you didn't question him about where his parents were" she said angriliy. Nick came quickly to her  
"What are you doing here Zo?" Nick asked  
"Dylan I will ask again why didn't you check to see where your patients parents were?" she asked again.  
"Of course I did Dr Hanna I asked him and he told me they were on their way and a carer brought him in" he said calmly.  
"He lied to you Linda's on to social services now" she told him sternly and turned "And before you say anything else I'm going back to CDU" she shot at Nick and paced quickly back.

"Any word from Social services Linda?" she asked  
"Yes they will be coming soon" she told Zoe and Zoe went over to Tom  
"Ok Dr Keogh is still running tests" she told him and Linda came over with the water. "Here you are Tom" she handed the water over and smiled at him Tom took the oxygen mask off his face "Thanks" he whispered and looked over at Zoe "What happened?" he asked curiously looking at her bruise on her arm.  
"Oh" she said and exchanged a look with Linda "It was just an accident" she muttered "That dosen't look like an accident" he said trying to test her.  
"Oh well it was, just one of those things" Zoe stuttered  
"My mum has bruises like that all the time and it's never usually an accident with her" he prompted and Zoe exchanged another look with Linda.  
"Um that's something you should really discuss with social services" she stuttered  
"So what happened to you then?" he protested  
"It dosen't matter" she said deffencivley  
"It does" he protested.  
"Let's just say I got involved with a bad man" she told him  
"Did he do that to you?" he questioned and Linda exchanged a look and left.  
"Yh he did, he was in a bad place" she defended  
"What else did he do to you?" he asked and Zoe's heart went out to this child.  
"It dosen't matter what he did ok your the patient not me" she tried to refocus everything on him but just as he was about to respond  
"Tom" a woman said sternly and Zoe turned "Hello you must be-" her mouth couldn't move and she seized up as she recognised the women standing in front of her.

**So who is this blast from the past then. **


	60. Change in Character

**SO THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR REACHING 60 CHAPTERS! THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND PLEASE CONTINUE!**

_"So what happened to you then?" he protested_  
_"It dosen't matter" she said deffencivley_  
_"It does" he protested._  
_"Let's just say I got involved with a bad man" she told him_  
_"Did he do that to you?" he questioned and Linda exchanged a look and left._  
_"Yh he did, he was in a bad place" she defended_  
_"What else did he do to you?" he asked and Zoe's heart went out to this child._  
_"It dosen't matter what he did ok your the patient not me" she tried to refocus everything on him but just as he was about to respond_  
_"Tom" a woman said sternly and Zoe turned "Hello you must be-" her mouth couldn't move and she seized up as she recognised the women standing in front of her. _

"Get out" the women hissed "I don't want you anywhere near my son" and Zoe stepped back. The last time she had seen this women "I'm so sorry I'll get someone else" she went to turn but Tom's voice stopped her.  
"I want her" he ordered  
"Well you can't I WON'T LET you have her" she shouted.  
"Linda can you please get another Doctor to see to him" Zoe called over to Linda  
"I'm suprised they let you even stay a doctor after all you have done to my brother" she spat. Linda came over "Is everything ok over here Dr. Hanna?" Linda asked  
"Um could you just get another doctor please" Zoe muttered nervously stroking the hair out of her eye and she caught sight of the bruise. "Nice to see my brothers handy work hasn't completly gone" she smiled widley  
"I'm sorry you are?" Linda questioned  
"A women who dosen't want this lying bitch anywhere near her son" she spat at Zoe. "Linda can you-" she started and Linda nodded and she walked quickly out of CDU and down the corridor to cubicles. "Zoe what are you doing here?" she heard Nick's voice from behind her again "Um I can't cover CDU I need a break" she muttered.  
"Ok so take a break" Nick told her  
"No, No I need a doctor in there but not me" she stuttered  
"Why not baby" he asked  
"I just can't" she stuttered and ran out the ED without so much of another word to Nick. The fresh air was cooling to her and made for a refreshing site it clearered out her emotions. She wanted to cry out in pain she had just got back to normal and now "What's wrong Zoe?" she tuned as she heard his voice  
"She's here Nick, Matt's sister" she cried.  
"Oh Zoe" he whispered and extended his arms out to her and she sank into his arms feeling safe in them. "I love you Zoe" he whispered keeping her close waning to protect her from the pain and she squeezed him back and stayed there relazing in his arms. "Come on let's go in your going to catch hyperthermia" he joked and released her and took her hand and led her back inside. "Right wait for me in the staff room I'm going to take over your post in CDU then we are going home" he ordered  
"Seriously" she said annoyed.  
"Yep doctors orders" he laughed and infront of everyone kissed her on the lips and they walked into CDU and they kissed a final goodbye kiss and she was about to leave  
"I don't know how people at you sleep?" Matt's sister spat.  
"I'm sorry I don't think we have been properly intraduced I'm Nick Jordan" Nick said breaking off the kiss and stepping in front of Zoe.  
"Miss Strong, It's disgusting what she did? What she said my brother did? He's even admitting to it and you know that, you forced him to I always told him marrying you was one of the worst mistakes of his life" she spat again directly at Zoe. Nick progressed toward her furious that she thought she could get away with that sort of language "I'm sorry which bit was disgusting for you?" he hissed in a low menacing voice that scared Linda and Zoe the only other two people listening "Was it when your brother hit her and covered her in bruises? Was it when he poured boiling water from a kettle over? Was it even when he tried to kill her? But no the list dosen't even stop there dose it was it when he forced her to have sex with him? Or when he forced her to swallow tablets? So you tell me which one was it?" Zoe had started to look down at her feet to embarressed to say anything "I was more thinking that this bitch had an affair and made my brother so miserable, so angry that he went to some extreme lengths for her" she said and Zoe wanted to leave but Nick wouldn't let her. His arm was on hers and he wasn't going to let her go that quickly "I want you to appoligise to Zoe now" Nick spat angrily and Zoe recognised this aggression and tried to step back "Nick leave it" she whispered. Linda noticed the look on her face  
"Mr Jordan-" she started  
"No you owe Zoe an appology" Nick persisted.  
"Nick come on there is no-" she started  
"There is every need" he spat angrily and Zoe tugged her arm out of his grip and walked over as she noticed Tom start to go blue and was struggling to breathe.  
"Tom are you ok?" she asked hitting the panic button on the side and only then did Nick and Miss Strong look round and start to take some notice. "Tom, Tom" Miss Strong panicked and Zoe took the bed  
"Linda can you page Dr Keogh and get those test results though ASAP and I want 5 mg of Isoniazid" Zoe ordered and she went with the trolley to rhesus.  
"Right Zoe what is this about?" Dylan asked and she just exchanged a look with him and he nodded "Right as I don't want Mr Jordan after my job so can you please leave my rhesus" he ordered and she smiled and left waiting anxiously outside of rhesus for a result. "Zoe" Nick called to her and she turned "Don't Zoe me, that boy could have died as a result of your pride" she said angriliy not looking at him.  
"Zo I did it for you that women-" he started placing a hand on her shoulder but she cut him off  
"No the that boy needed us as doctors to help him" she said angrily shrugging his arm off. She sighed in deep relief as the boy regiened a normal colour and sats started to rise again she turned and was shocked to see him still standing there and budged past him flouncing toward the staff room.  
"Women" he rolled his eyes and stormed after her banging the staff room door open with rage and anger.

She heard the staff room bang open and she jumped flinching hitting her already bruised hip against the sink. She sank back against it as he looked towering and enraged in the doorway "Sorry" she muttered avoiding his gaze and shivering slightly scared for the first time by the figure infront of her. "Zoe everything I do I do for you, she was slagging you off Zo" he argued and he made his way toward her  
"Sorry" she stutered grasping onto the work surface as he approach closer wanting to sink into it. He didn't quite realise what he was doing as he approached her "Zoe she was being awful about you, claiming that everything was your fault" he shouted now virtually blocking her escape route. "He needed us" she defended herself putting her hands up and tensing up "WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD" he shouted and he raised his hand as if he was going to strike her when Linda and Tess pulled him away and Zoe started to break down.

**So I am not greatly happy with this chapter so I just wonder what you guys think? By the way Nick is not going to be a bad guy it's just a momentary lapse and I thought it would make a change in his character. **


	61. Hurt

_She heard the staff room bang open and she jumped flinching hitting her already bruised hip against the sink. She sank back against it as he looked towering and enraged in the doorway "Sorry" she muttered avoiding his gaze and shivering slightly scared for the first time by the figure infront of her. "Zoe everything I do I do for you, she was slagging you off Zo" he argued and he made his way toward her_  
_"Sorry" she stutered grasping onto the work surface as he approach closer wanting to sink into it. He didn't quite realise what he was doing as he approached her "Zoe she was being awful about you, claiming that everything was your fault" he shouted now virtually blocking her escape route. "He needed us" she defended herself putting her hands up and tensing up "WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD" he shouted and he raised his hand as if he was going to strike her when Linda and Tess pulled him away and Zoe started to break down._

Everybody stood frozen for a second in shock of what Nick had nealy done "Zoe" he started to say but Zoe didn't listen for the rest and she ran out the staff room  
"Zoe" Linda called from behind her.  
"Never have I known him to..." she trailed off  
"I know Zoe" she comforted her  
"I thought he was the right person for me I had a baby and I wanted so badly for him to be the father but now..." she trailed off.  
"How about a night out" she offered  
"Linda I really-" she started to say but trailed off  
"No come on Zo Linda and Zoe think about all the men you could help me pick up" Linda laughed.  
"What do we think then 7:00 tonight and you can stay at mine if you want?" she offered  
"Can I really thanks Linda" she smiled appricativley  
"Of course you can" she smiled reasuringly and touched her shoulder and walked away. She wasn't sure how she suddenly felt a pain shoot though vagina and she clutched at it and started to hyper ventatlate.  
"Dr Hanna,Dr Hanna, Zoe" Charlie called from behind her and he turned her round  
"Charlie I need to speak to Tess" she begged.  
"For a second let's just take you to cubicles" Charlie reasoned beckoning the young doctor into cubicles "Ok Zoe can you sit up on the bed please?" he asked. Zoe sat on the bed nervous about the odd sensation coming from her.  
"Right I'll just go and get Tess ok but I need you to stay calm for me" Charlie told her calmly and she smiled weakly scared at what this could mean.

Charlie closed the curtain on Zoe's cubicle and walked to the staff room to here the raised voices.  
"She was deverstated and rightly so after everything that poor girl has been through" Tess said rather angrily and Charlie knocked on the door just as Nick looked like he was going to respond "Tess your being asked for" Charlie told her careful not to give too much information away that Zoe would not want revealed. "Can't someone else cover it?" she asked "No, Tess it's important and pretty urgent the patient is heading towards a melt down" Charlie exagerated. Exagerating was never usually his thing but this time he felt that it was important for Zoe's mental well being to be seen as quickly as possible. Tess nodded "What's the situation?" she asked finishing off with Mr Jordan with a simple scornful stare  
"You should really see for yourself" Charlie sighed and as he and Tess approached the cubicle they heard her crying and Tess exchanged a look with Charlie "It's Zoe" he whispered before gently pulling back the curtain and stepping inside.  
"Ok Zoe I'm here and I'm going to look after you ok" Tess reasurred her "Zoe can you tell me what happened?" she asked kindly "Pain and severe discomfort in..." she trailed off and put her hand where the pain was and then bringing it up a second later discovering it was wet. "Charlie can you get me some chocolate and a sign for the cubicle" Tess asked sencing that Zoe would be embaressed  
"Of course" Charlie muttered and slipped out. As soon as he left Tess asked the question that she knew would be an akward one "Zoe can I ask did gyne do any tests with you for STD's?" she asked tentativley and Zoe instantly shook her head unsure of her answer "I don't know" she answered truthfully.  
"Can I ask is an STD a possibility?" Tess asked again and Zoe felt to ashamed to look at her and nodded to her feet  
"Ok well the good thing is at least we know probably what we are dealing with now can you tell me some of your symtoms?" Tess asked  
"Discharges, bleeding but I thought that was normal because of my period and my pelvis has been really sore" she told Tess quietly. "Ok what would you suggest we test for?" Tess asked with an air that she was asking on behalf of a normal patient and not one that was a doctor. "Gonorrhoea, Trichomoniasis and Chlamydia" Zoe said confidently  
"Ok i'll find you some kits and we can send them off to the lab" Tess said kindly just as Charlie re-entered  
"Ok chocolate Tess" Charlie said handing it to her.  
"It's not for me" she argued and pointed at Zoe and he nodded and she left  
"Zoe I have some chocolate here for you can you eat some of this?" he asked knowing that chocolate was good for shock. Zoe took it "Thanks Charlie" she muttered and broke a peice of the milk chocolate off and nimbled at it like a mouse. "Are you ok?" he asked still concerned  
"No I thought I could trust him Charlie" she whispered.  
"You still can, he never actually hit you Zoe maybe that's where he is different" Charlie deffended  
"I shouldn't have to live my life scared that what I say might set him off. I have already done that once Charlie I can't do that again" she said strongly and Tess re-entered.  
"I'll have a word Charlie told her as Tess handed over the kits and they left her alone.


	62. Nick

**Just a short chapter about after the near hitting insidant occured.**

_She heard the staff room bang open and she jumped flinching hitting her already bruised hip against the sink. She sank back against it as he looked towering and enraged in the doorway "Sorry" she muttered avoiding his gaze and shivering slightly scared for the first time by the figure infront of her. "Zoe everything I do I do for you, she was slagging you off Zo" he argued and he made his way toward her_  
_"Sorry" she stutered grasping onto the work surface as he approach closer wanting to sink into it. He didn't quite realise what he was doing as he approached her "Zoe she was being awful about you, claiming that everything was your fault" he shouted now virtually blocking her escape route. "He needed us" she defended herself putting her hands up and tensing up "WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD" he shouted and he raised his hand as if he was going to strike her when Linda and Tess pulled him away and Zoe started to break down._

His head bowed down "Zoe" he started too say appaled by his behaviour and he reached a hand out to her but she recoiled terrified. He tried again to reach her but she ran out the room followed instantly by Linda who called her name trying to calm her down "I don't know what came over me" Nick stuttered.  
"No neither do I especially because it's her" Tess said coldly  
"What's that supposed to mean" he said quickly  
"You spent so long waiting to get her back and you do that" Tess said angrily.  
"I am as shocked as you" he said getting angrier  
"No you certainly are not, Mr Jordan that girl has been though so much she's been bruised and battered and-" Tess started to say  
"I know Tess" he cut her up.  
"Well obviously you don't" Tess retorted  
"Of course I know Tess and I feel awful I love Zoe and I don't know what came over me" he shouted.  
"She was deverstated and rightly so after everything that poor girl has been through" she said and he was just about to argue back but Charlie knocked on the door  
"Tess your being asked for" Charlie told her and Tess thought he was keeping somthing back.  
"Can't someone else cover it?" she asked  
"No, Tess it's important and pretty urgent the patient is heading towards a melt down" Charlie said. Tess nodded reluctantly "What's the situation?" she asked finishing off with Mr Jordan with a simple scornful stare and left the room leaving him alone. He put his head into his hands, he had to make it up to her somehow she was the love of his life after all and it suddenly occured to him. He made his way tentativley to his office and took off the shelf a book, no ordinary book a beige covered book that he kept right at the back of his shelf. The book had a gold border and a picture of Zoe as a teen and he opened the book up smiling at the happy girl she used to be he quickly turned to the back page and scanned his finger across the page and tapped what he wanted. He grabbed his office phone and dialled the number "Hi my names Nick Jordan can I speak to the person in charge" he asked.

**So what do you think please feel free to review on what you think Nick has done?**


	63. Telling Nick

Zoe finished what she was doing and put the final swab into the envelope and took a second to compose herself before leaving the cubicle "Zoe" Tess called to her and she turned  
"Oh hi I was just going to –" she started but Tess cut her off with a stare .  
"Charlie can you take these off of doctor Hanna and send them to the labs" Tess asked politely  
"No Tess it's fine I can-" she started again and again she was cut off  
"Of course I can" Charlie smiled and took the kits off of Zoe and started to walk off  
"Thanks" she called after him.  
"You know what you need?" Tess said coming over all motherly  
"What?" she asked  
"A warm drink come on let's get some tea or coffee and we can talk about what is bothering you" Tess smiled and rubbed her arm sympathetically. Zoe nodded secretly enjoying this friendship that her and Tess had and now fully appreciating the value of that friendship. They grabbed two strong black coffee's from the machine and took them into Tess's office where they sat down  
"What's on your mind Zoe?" she asked kindly.  
"I don't know I guess it's Nick and it's M…Matt I just keeping thinking that everything started with Matt a similar way and what if Hanna is not safe" she said strongly now it felt good to speak her mind especially to someone impartial and who could tell her if she was being silly.  
"Awh Zoe you have to remember he's not Matt, he doesn't want to hurt you or Hanna for that matter do you know how much effort it took us to stop him from going completely ballistic at what matt had done to you and Hanna, well the answer is a lot" and Zoe suddenly felt relieved not enough for her fear to leave her but a bit enough to knock some of it away.  
"You think I'm being silly and that I have this irrational fear of men" Zoe muttered ashamed  
"Hey, hey any fear you have of men is defiantly not irrational" she defended she was about to start talking again when the door opened "Tess have you seen-" Nick started to say but stopped as he saw her. "Zoe" he finished in a soothing calm tone and she instantly got up and took a step back into the desk making it shake "Zoe I'm so sorry look please forgive me" he held out his hand toward her and when she didn't take it Tess intervened "Perhaps you should leave Mr Jordan?" she suggested.  
"Perhaps" he conceded and was about to leave when  
"Wait" he turned sharply and Zoe smiled weakly at first but she exchanged a look with Tess and her smile started to widen  
"Your beautiful" he muttered and held out his hand again and she took it.  
"Hang on Dr Hanna" Tess called and Zoe turned around again still in bliss "Remember the tests" she said loudly and Zoe nodded.

"What did she mean?" Nick asked as they got to his office  
"Oh just reminding me about 3 tests a patient needed to take" she lied. He opened the office door and she walked inside but he stood frozen "Zoe the truth" he prompted  
"That was th-" she started to say but he cut her off  
"I know you Zoe your lying and I want to know why?" he asked  
"Fine " she snapped "I took 3 tests I think I have an STD"


	64. She's gone

**Sorry my updates are less regular it's because I'm not on Holiday anymore :( plus hope you like the chapter despite the fact I had to write this twice!**

_"What did she mean?" Nick asked as they got to his office  
"Oh just reminding me about 3 tests a patient needed to take" she lied. He opened the office door and she walked inside but he stood frozen "Zoe the truth" he prompted "That was th-" she started to say but he cut her off  
"I know you Zoe your lying and I want to know why?" he asked  
"Fine " she snapped "I took 3 tests I think I have an STD"._

"What how could this?" he said shocked  
"I thought you would react like this" she muttered and sat down on the sofa and hugged her knees to her chest.  
"Zoe I'm just in shock" he muttered but she didn't listen and wrapped her arms more closely around  
"It's ok can you tell me which tests you took" he asked sitting down onto the sofa next to her.  
"Ask Charlie" she whispered still blanking him  
"Come on Zo" he whispered back stroking her hair  
"I can't" she whispered and he sighed soothing her back.  
"I'll ask Charlie should I you know if I have to be tested" he explained and realised as he did that she was starting to fall asleep and he could have laughed at her but instead slipped off the sofa and removed her shoes and placed her feet on the sofa and grabbed a blanket from the corner and threw it over her tucking her in. He closed the door on her and walked down to the main bit of the ED where he spotted Charlie talking to Tess  
"Charlie can I have a word?" he asked Charlie stepped to the side.  
"Where's Zoe?" Charlie asked behind him  
"She's sleeping my girl's exhausted but I wanted to talk to you about the STD kits that Zoe took" he prompted  
"I'm afraid I can't talk about a patients condition with you Nick" Charlie nodded.  
"She told me Charlie she said she took 3 tests but couldn't remember which ones" he informed him  
"Either way I'm very sorry but I can't tell you any more" Charlie replied sadly.  
"Fine but I'm going to go up and see Hanna would you mind-" he started  
"Making sure that you and Zoe are not paged unless it's a complete emergancy" Charlie interupted  
"Yh precisley thanks" Nick nodded and headed toward the NICU.

"Hey Hanna" he muttered crooning as he touched her tiny little hand that fit so perfectly in his  
"Hello Mr Jordan I'm Dr Small one of Hanna's doctors" a doctor intraduced himself  
"Oh hello nice to meet you" Nick greeted and he nodded  
"I was talking Hanna's regular physician and we both agree that we are happy to discharge Hanna tonight as long as she is in a safe warm enviroment" he told him.  
"Really thanks Zoe will be thrilled" he smiled and was about to question him some more when his pager went off "I'm sorry I have to go" he muttered and ran out the NICU and down the flight of stairs into the ED. "I was paged" he said to Lloyd  
"Oh yh sorry Mr J that was a wrong page that was Tom's patient" Lloyd appoligised  
"I was called down for..." he cursed annoyed  
"Sorry" Lloyd appoligised again and Nick walked off toward his office to give attention to the mountain of paper work that was begging his attention. He reached his office and the door was already ajar he froze for a second and pushed it further and his instant thought was Zoe. The sofa was empty and the blanket was gone and there was no sign of Zoe anywhere "ZOE, ZOE, ZOE" he yelled and walked quickly out his office toward the ED again "Charlie, Charlie Zoe's gone" he exclaimed.


	65. Going Home

_He reached his office and the door was already ajar he froze for a second and pushed it further and his instant thought was Zoe. The sofa was empty and the blanket was gone and there was no sign of Zoe anywhere "ZOE, ZOE, ZOE" he yelled and walked quickly out his office toward the ED again "Charlie, Charlie Zoe's gone" he exclaimed._

"What where was she last?" he asked panicked  
"In my office and when I came back she was gone" he panicked and Tess passed them "Tess have you seen Zoe?" he asked still panicked.  
"No why?" she asked confused  
"She's missing from my office" he panicked.  
"Hang on did you just say Zoe?" Linda asked passing them  
"Yes have you seen her?" Nick asked hopefully  
"Yh she's outside in the tranquility garden watching the fountain" Linda told them and Nick went out the ED quickly and turned left to the garden. She had her back to him but even from where he stood he couldn't help smiling as Zoe ran her hand though the fountain and then flicked the water into the air and watched it carry. He also solved the mystery of the missing blanket as it was wrapped round her shoulders protectivley and he walked up slowly behind her "Hey beautiful you scared us" he sighed sitting on the bench next to her. "Sorry I didn't know you would be so worried I should have said something" she appoligised  
"No it's just me I panicked too much" he laughed and wrapped an arm round her shoulder. "At least your wearing the blanket" he sighed  
"You would have killed me if I hadn't" she muttered and he laughed  
"I probably would have" he agreed.  
"Why did you come out here?" he asked  
"It's peaceful" she whispered  
"Well I guess that was the idea when it was made" he laughed. They didn't know how long they sat there together watching the fountain and cuddling but the thing that broke it off was Nick's pager from the NICU.  
"I have a suprise for you" he muttered exitedly and she turned confused  
"What is it?" she smiled  
"Ah you will have to wait and see" he smiled and she smiled to herself aswell. He got up from the bench and offered his hand out and Zoe took it letting the blanket slip slightly from her shoulders. He took her back inside and Tess and Charlie as soon as they saw her they tried to contain their laughter  
"So your ok then?" Charlie mumbled and the laughter they both had tried to contain spilled out.  
"Yh I'm fine what's with the laughter?" she asked  
"Oh it's just Nick" they laughed and she continued perplexed for a second then shook it off.  
"So what's the suprise then?" she asked  
"No, no Dr Hanna you need to learn patients" he smiled leaning foreward and kissing her on the lips in front of the ED staff and they heard someone wolf whistle. He released her from the kiss and they walked toward the lift "Where are we going Nick?" she pestered as Nick pressed a floor that she couldn't see  
"No way Dr Hanna you don't get away that easily" he laughed and he grabbed her by the waist and kissed her quickly. She pushed him away laughing and they reached the floor. The doors opened and Zoe turned to him "Nick-" she started as they arrived in the NICU  
"Don't question it yet Zo" he laughed and led her out the lift and she tried again to question him again but Nick sushed her. He led her futher and saw Dr Small  
"Hi Dr Small can we collect her now?" he asked and then turned to his fiancee and smiled widley.  
"What can we-" she started stunned  
"Sure of course" Dr Small smiled "I'll just get one of the nurses to get her ready do you want to borrow a car seat?" he asked  
"Yes that would be great" Nick thanked and they followed Dr Small as they went to collect their daughter to go home.


	66. In The End

**So sorry about how long since my last update it's thanks to my Explorer young leader training on satuday and my Flute day on sunday with Abigail Burrows. **

_He led her futher and saw Dr Small_  
_"Hi Dr Small can we collect her now?" he asked and then turned to his fiancee and smiled widley._  
_"What can we-" she started stunned_  
_"Sure of course" Dr Small smiled "I'll just get one of the nurses to get her ready do you want to borrow a car seat?" he asked_  
_"Yes that would be great" Nick thanked and they followed Dr Small as they went to collect their daughter to go home._

He pulled up in his mercedes and turned the engine off "We're home" he smiled turning round to the back seat of the car where Zoe had instisted on sitting with her daughter.  
"I know" she smiled back unstrapping her daughter and getting out the car looking at their new house and she was reminded again how beautiful it was as she pushed open the car door but Nick had already got the door and he held it open for her "Thanks" she smiled. She got out

"Look Hanna this is your home and this is your Daddy and we are one big family" she smiled suprised by how motherly her tone was

"Perphaps we should be getting her inside" Nick suggested

"Yh of course" she agreed. Nick and Zoe walked up the path and put his key into the old fashioned lock  
"Who would have thought it hey the two of us living together, engaged and whats more having a baby together" he laughed letting her inside the house. She walked into the house "Would you like me to take Hanna and put her in her crib while you sit down?" he offered  
"No it's fine I can do it" Zoe protested and headed up the stairs and into Hanna's bedroom. "This is your new bedroom Hanna this is going to be the place where you will feel the most relaxed and most at ease in the whole world" she spoke in a very sweet tone as she showed Hanna round the room and she then placed her into the crib. Hanna started to grumble and cry gently at first and Zoe wound the mobile up and listened to the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"  
"You know thats the song that I was listening to on the first day of work in the ED" Nick said from behind her making her jump.  
"I said I was fine" she muttered looking down to the floor  
"I know you did but I knew better and thought you needed the company" he praised taking her in his arms hugging her as they watched their daughter start to sleep knowing despite what any tests said it would always be their daughter. She turned in and lent up to him and kissed him on the lips and he wrapped his arms round tighter and she giggled and she indicated to him to pick her up.  
"Are you sure?" he whispered and she nodded and he picked her up and carried her out of Hanna's room and into the master bedroom. He put her down on the bed and continued to kiss her neck and unzipping the back of her dress and placing himself on top of her and pulled down her dress unhooking her black lacy bra. For Zoe's part she unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his chest and shuddered as he stroked her hair. She continued though it though and kissed his chest but Nick pushed her gently and continued to take off her dress now she was fully naked and there was no going back. Zoe unbuttoned his trousers and slid them off teasing him and shivering again as he held her down in what he thought was gently but was starting to feel all to familiar...

_His wrists held her firmly in place and stopped her from moving or fighting back_

She had to concentrate on Nick, on his body and what they were doing. Nick toyed with her hair and again this sent a shiver down her spine.

_Matt ran his fingers into her hair and twisted it causing her to bend over into an akward angle and with the hand he fumbled with her. _

Nick was kissing her again and Zoe was starting to panic as her breathing became quick and shallow. She couldn't stop now though, he wouldn't want her and she pretended to try and deepen her breathing "Zoe" Nick muttered romantically.  
"Nick" she whispered back slightly terrified and at her voice he stopped and got up  
"Nick what are you-" she tried to protest  
"Zoe you don't want to do this" he muttered.  
"Nick-" she started about to appoligise  
"No don't you dare Zoe it's ok I'm not going to pressure you into anything you don't want to I just want to protect you" he smiled stroking her hair and pushing the covers on her and cuddling her tightly.  
"One day" he murmurred  
"Nick about our wedding-" she started to say but a cry from Hanna made her stop and Nick got up out of the bed and wrapped a dressing gown round him and out the door to look after Hanna. _This was it _Zoe thought she was with the man of her dreams a baby that she didn't even realise she wanted and a little cottage by the sea in which to raise her she guessed the only thing really to improve this moment was if she could just show Nick how much he had helped her.  
"I love you Nick Jordan" she whispered to the empty room  
"I love you too Zoe Hanna" Nick replied from the door way as he walked over to the bed and lay down next to her taking her again into a hug.

**Ok so this is where I leave it an I finish off Zoe and Nick's story Not As It Seems so I hope you liked it. I thought about doing a seaquel possibly if anyone is intrested just let me know! Thanks to everybody's continuing alligence to this fic!**


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